Nabiki - New Horizons
                 Chapter 2 - Wedding Bell Blues
                        By G.L. Sandborn



     As Jeff carried Nabiki down the stairs of Furinkan Senior
High School, a growing crowd of celebrating students followed,
their happy voices echoing down the long hallways.  Even some of
the teachers chanced to emerge from their office and stare at the
happy couple as they passed by.  Despite their accustomed
position of authority, none moved to quell the celebration.
     "I'll bet you never imagined you would leave Furinkan like
this," Jeff said to Nabiki over the crowd noise.
     Nabiki just smiled and snuggled a bit more.  That alone told
him all he needed.  This exit exceeded everything she'd ever
hoped for.  Just holding her did as much for him.

     At the bottom of the stairs, one of Jeff's earlier
antagonists lay slumped against the wall, his eyes wide and
glazed while still clutching his bokkan in front of him with both
hands.  Two of Jeff's throwing stars adorned the weapon's smooth
surface.
     Ranma Saotome paused next to him and examined the throwing
stars with keen interest.  "You're very lucky, you know," he said
with mock seriousness.  "I hear Ninjas usually aim for the head."
     The student's eyes rolled back up into his head as he passed
out.
     "Hmmm.  No sense of humor."  Ranma pulled the stars from the
unconscious student's weapon.  
     Turning each over and back in his hand, he looked for
identifying marks.  Finding none, he concluded these were not
from a ninja clan.  Their construction was all wrong for
something made by Japanese.  Not to suggest they were crude by
any standards, their craftsmanship reflected a thorough knowledge
of shuriken construction.  For someone to be able to build and
then use such devices with the skill necessary to strike a thin
bokkan suggested there was more to Jeff Lawrence than anyone
knew.
     Suspiciously, he jiggled the stars in his hand while
watching Jeff and Nabiki lead the crowd out of Furinkan High. 
Having seen him in action at the Tendo Dojo, he didn't think Jeff
capable of much when it came to fighting.  What he accomplished
today against admittedly second-rate opponents was so
overwhelming that his suspicions were justifiably raised.  There
was something about Jeffrey that warranted further investigation. 
Slipping the stars into his shirt pocket, Ranma joined the
trailing crowd.

     With Nabiki still in his arms, Jeff made his way to the main
gate where the Ambassador's limousine waited, its passenger door
open and the driver standing by.
     "Jeff-chan, I hope you didn't spend a lot of money to rent
this car," Nabiki scolded when she saw the vehicle.  "Things are
going to be tight enough until you can start a job."
     His answer was interrupted by two Marine Corps humvees
pulling up along side the limo, each containing a pair of Marines
dressed in full camouflage.
     "Yo, bro," called one of the Marines as he stepped out of
the vehicle.  It was one of Jeff's Marine friends from the
embassy.
     "What are you doing here?" Jeff growled indignantly.  "I
thought I told you I could handle this on my own."
     "We're not here to help with the extraction," another Marine
said leaning on the hood of his vehicle.  "We figured you could
handle that part okay.  We're just here to see you don't get
lost.  After all, we're duty bound to protect our country's rich
and influential."

     Nabiki's English vocabulary was understandably limited.  But
the words: 'rich' and 'influential', she understood well.  Eyeing
Jeff suspiciously, she tried to understand how they related to
her husband-to-be.
     "Haven't you told her yet?" the first Marine asked in mock
surprise.  "She really deserves to know."
     "Jeffrey, I don't fully understand what this military person
is saying, but I've got a feeling there is something you should
be telling me," she said in Japanese with a raised eyebrow.
     Jeff shot the Marines an expression guaranteed to convey his
exasperation at their obvious hint about his little 'secret'.  It
must have worked as both made faces and ducked back into their
vehicle.
     "Nabiki, dear, I think you'll need to sit down for this," he
said, setting her on the back seat of the limousine.  "I've got
something to tell you."
     She lightly scooted over while Jeff slid in behind her and
the driver closed the door.

     Akane and Ranma, after finally working their way to the
front of the crowd, exchanged confused looks.
     "What's this doing here?" Ranma asked out loud, indicating
the black limo.
     "How should I know?" Akane replied, cupping her hands and
trying to peer through the car's deeply tinted glass.
     "Move away from the car, please," one of the Marine guards
ordered in Japanese, indicating with his hand the direction he
wanted her to move.
     "But my sister is in this car," Akane answered pointing to
the back seat of the limo.
     "Are you one of the Tendo girls?"
     Akane nodded and glanced again at the limousine.
     "Well, okay," he said, waving her over.  "We'll drive you
home with the lucky couple." 
     Akane scurried to the Marine vehicle with Ranma close
behind.  They both skidded to a halt when the Marine held up a
hand to stop them.
     "What's up with the Chinese guy?" he asked, noticing Ranma's
unusual attire.
     "Huh?"  Akane glanced back at Ranma.  "Oh, him."
     "Is he a Tendo, too?"
     "Well, not really.  He just lives with us."
     The Marine looked Ranma up and down.  "You want us to give
him a ride too?"
     Akane sighed.  "I suppose so."
     The Marine shrugged and opened the humvee's rear passenger
door for Akane.  Blushing lightly at such an uncommon gesture of
Western manners, especially since it was coming from a handsome
man in uniform, she dropped into the rough bucket seat.
     When Ranma tried to follow, the Marine stopped him.
     "Other side, junior," he said, jerking a thumb towards the
opposite door.
     Nodding he understood, Ranma bounded around the vehicle
where another Marine waited by the open door.  Ranma bowed a
couple of times, hoping the gesture would accurately convey his
appreciation before flopping into the other back seat and
frowning at Akane.
     "I don't like military men," he declared.
     "Why?  I think they act like gentlemen.  Unlike someone I
could mention," she said with narrowed eyes.
     "What's that supposed to mean?" Ranma replied, his voice
rising towards the kind of irritation that usually sparked a
fight between them.
     "It means you could try acting more like a gentleman every
once in awhile."  Akane's growl proved she was ready for such a
fight.
     "What would you know about 'gentlemen', ya tomboy?"
     "I know they're more 'men' and less 'boy'," she yelled back.
     "Are you calling me a 'boy'?"  Ranma was practically
shouting now.
     "HEY!  No fighting in the Humvee!" a Marine yelled from the
front seat.  He frowned at both before turning to his friend.
"Reminds me of the last time I took the Misses and our two kids
to Hakone.  The little yard apes fought all the way down and
back."
     The other Marine chuckled as he started the engine.  "Kids
will be kids."
     Still casting irritated looks Ranma's way, Akane settled
into her seat, thankful for the high transmission hump between
them.

     Meanwhile, in the limo's back seat, Jeff was explaining
fiscal reality to Nabiki.  He was having a little trouble with
the details.
     "What do you mean YOU'RE NOT POOR?" she demanded.  The
expression on her face made it clear she wasn't taking this the
way he expected.
     Trying to remain calm and rational, he drew a deep breath. 
"There is a reason I couldn't tell you."
     "You let me make a fool of myself in front of everybody,
thinking you were some yen-less gaijin, when you've actually got
money?"  Her voice was taking on an edge that gave 'predatory' a
new meaning.
     Abandoning calm and rational, he switched to a more
philosophical approach.  "Well, wealth is so much a state of
mind.  Money is kinda complicated."
     "How much are you worth?" she asked anxiously.
     "It's tied up in a lot of --"
     "How much, Jeffrey?" she interrupted.
     "It's not all in liquid assets --"
     With a growl of frustration, she grabbed Jeff's coat and
yanked him towards her.  Nose-to-nose, she growled through
clenched teeth: "HOW MUCH?"
     Jeff blinked.  "Dear, you're wrinkling my sport coat."
     "There's gonna be blood on your sport coat if you don't tell
me how much."
     Certain she wasn't kidding, he reached into his pants pocket
and produced the accounting overview he had received earlier that
morning.  Holding it up, she snatched it from his fingers so fast
he could feel the paper singe.
     "Now this is just a rough estimate," he noted while
adjusting his abused coat.
     Nabiki unfolded the paper and scowled trying to decipher the
writing.  She couldn't read most of the English written on the
paper, but understood fully the numbers.  When she got to the
bottom line, her eyes popped open - wide open.
     "Is this...?" she asked in a wavering voice while pointing
to the bottom line.
     "In American dollars, yes," Jeff replied.
     "Then you are..."
     "That's what they tell me."
     "And you want to marry ME?"
     "If you're still interested."
     "Are you kidding?"
     "No."
     "If I marry you, that would mean I'm... I'm rich!"  She
blinked twice with a wide, goofy grin then fainted, slumping
against Jeff's shoulder.
     "You handled that very well, dear," Jeff said to his
unconscious fiancee.  "Let's take her home," he called to the
driver while using the accounting report to fan Nabiki.  "To the
Tendo residence." 
     "By the way, sir.  The Ambassador wants me to convey his
congratulations," the driver said with a broad grin, holding up a
cellular phone.
     "You told him?" Jeff asked, stopping in mid-fan.
     "He wanted me to call with the results after I picked you
up.  Something to do with a bet he had with the Japanese Prime
Minister."
     Jeff stared at the man and shook his head.  "Don't you
people have something better to do?"
     The driver shrugged.  "I guess not.  The Prime Minister
called Furinkan's principal who took the call from under his desk
and demanded to know what was going on.  I guess it's kinda
unheard of for a Nerima high school girl to marry a gaijin."
     Jeff patted Nabiki's limp shoulder.  "He clearly doesn't
know this girl.  She's special."  He looked down at his
unconscious fiancee.  Her slack jaw was now sporting a thin line
of drool that dribbled out onto her school uniform blouse.  With
a sigh, Jeff used his handkerchief to wipe her chin.  "Of course,
there's always room for improvement.

     Kasumi fished the last dish out of her rapidly cooling rinse
water and started to wipe it dry.  It had been an uneventful day
so far.  Just the usual shopping, cleaning, and meal-making. 
There was still laundry to finish and she needed to hurry to
catch the afternoon sun.
     Sighing, she paused her dish wiping.  Her work had gone
slower lately because she was worried about her sister's failed
relationship.  Such a thing shouldn't have disrupted the whole
family but they really liked Jeffrey.  When he gave up on Nabiki,
it was as if the whole family had failed.
     Kasumi shook her head.  Despite Mother promising that
everything would turn out happily for her sister, that no longer
seemed possible.  Nabiki was an emotional wreck and Jeffrey was
nowhere to be found.  As much as she hated the idea, it looked
like Mother was wrong this time.
     A short siren from the street out front momentarily drove
from her concerns about Nabiki.  Curious as to what could be
disturbing their quiet Nerima neighborhood, she went to the front
door overlooking the main gate.  Standing in the doorway, the
warm spring air surrounding her, she tried to see what was
happening.
     Children were running and laughing along the street as they
escorted a pair of police motorcycles, their lights flashing and
an occasional horn warning people to make way.  Crowds pushed up
onto the narrow sidewalk and clustered together as if on a subway
platform.  A couple of street vendors hurriedly pushed their
carts out of the way before pausing to stare at what followed the
motorcycles.
     A large black limousine, like one important people owned,
carefully turned onto the street in front of her home.  All shiny
and black, it had to be owned by some rich industrialist or
influential politician - maybe even the Prime Minister himself.
     She wondered why such a person was touring her neighborhood. 
To her surprise, the limousine stopped next to their main gate. 
She could also just barely see over the top of the wall that
surrounded their property a couple of large camouflage painted
vehicles and a police squad car with its lights flashing
bringing-up the rear.  All that was needed were a couple of bands
to turn it into a parade.
     Kasumi rose lightly on the balls of her feet to get a better
look at the limo.  "Why did they stop here?" she wondered aloud,
while still idly wiping the dish.  "Such a nice car.  I wonder
who it belongs to."
     Her answer came when the limo driver walked briskly around
to the rear door and formally opened it.  Jeff Lawrence was the
first to emerge followed quickly by Nabiki Tendo.  Kasumi gasped
and dropped the dish, both hands quickly covering her mouth in
surprise.
     "Father!  Father, come quickly!" she yelled, clutching the
dish towel to her chest as she scurried through the house.  "It's
Nabiki and she's with Jeffrey!"  The assumption around the Tendo
household was that they had seen the last of Nabiki's would-be
suitor.  His return seemed nothing short of a miracle.
     Mr. Tendo hurried into the front hallway with Mr. Saotome
close behind.  Both came to an abrupt halt in the doorway, their
mouths open.  Soun stared at the approaching couple.  Genma had
his eyes on the expensive limo.
     "Tendo-sensei," Jeff addressed Nabiki's father formally with
a polite bow.  "I would like to discuss terms for your daughter's
hand in marriage."
     Nabiki bowed with Jeffrey, clearly enjoying being the center
of all this attention.  Usually, she detested such traditions of
bartering with the father for rights to marriage, thinking them
relics of a useless past, but most of the neighborhood was now
watching - she could see them standing on their porches and
hanging out of windows.  That made all the difference.
     The sight of four camouflage-dressed US Marines, along with
a pair of white-gloved metropolitan police officers, taking
positions in front of the gate was more than enough to keep the
curious outside.  The Marines were determined that nothing was
going to interrupt the big moment for their 'little brother'.  No
one appeared willing to argue with them.
     Kasumi sighed contentedly and hurried to prepare some tea
for their guest.  Her sister had made the right decision after
all. 
     "I don't know how you managed this, Mother, but it looks
like you were right," she said softly as she pulled out the
family's best tea cups.  She should have been irritated that her
younger sister was getting married first but couldn't find it in
her heart to feel that way.  Everything had a place and time. 
This was Nabiki's time.  Hers would come later.  After all,
mother had promised.

     Ranma and Akane began pushing their way through the crowd,
both a little surprised at all the commotion.  Akane greeted as
many as she recognized, bowing politely as she worked her way
toward the gate.  Annoyed with the mob, Ranma took a shortcut.
Bounding atop the wall, he glanced back just long enough to
congratulate himself for being so clever before dropping lightly
to the grass on the other side.
     Akane took a more leisurely pace, blushing appropriately
when one of the handsome Marines held open the gate and touched
the brim of his hat in a gesture that made her feel special.  She
liked it when people treated her like a girl.  If only Ranma
could see that.
     Her unhurried pace allowed time to day-dream of what was to
come.  In her mind, she saw, first her sister, then herself, in a
beautiful white wedding dress standing in a magnificent cathedral
surrounded by all her friends who were dividing their time
between fussing over her dress and whispering enviously about her
looks.
     If only Ranma were more romantic, she thought, she might get
to experience a happy ending.  Her pace quickened as she reached
the door.  She wanted to see what a happy ending looked like.

     Mr. Tendo, eyes already beginning to grow misty, led the way
back into the main room and directed Jeff and Nabiki towards two
cushions at the low table.  Mr. Saotome followed, beaming like a
successful matchmaker.  In spite of the fact he had nothing to do
with this pairing, he believed their engagement would provide
incentive for his reluctant son to follow through with Akane. 
Heaven only knew, the boy needed incentive.
     Moments later, Jeff and Nabiki sat stiffly across the table
from Mr. Tendo and Mr. Saotome.  Akane and Ranma assumed their
positions at the table with their backs to the open engawa
overlooking the garden.  Kasumi brought enough tea cups for
everyone and began pouring the tea.  After all, what would an
important meeting be without hot green tea?

     "Tendo-sensei," Jeff began, using his most formal voice.  He
was still a little worried how Mr. Tendo would take his sudden
return and proposal to Nabiki.  "A few weeks ago, I left this
house determined never to return.  Since then, much in my life
has changed.  Most importantly to me, your daughter, Nabiki,
indicated that our match would be acceptable."  Jeff paused to
take a deep breath and consider carefully the rest of what he
intended to say.  "Please forgive my gaijin ways.  I know I
should have requested an omaii first but there was no time.  I am
supposed to be leaving Japan as I am now considered an adult in
my country."
     Mr. Tendo indicated with a nod that he understood.
     Encouraged, Jeff pressed on.  He knew the most difficult
part of this meeting was yet to come.  "I am not here with
thoughts of dowry or title, but only that we might reach a
consensus as it relates to marrying your daughter."
     Again, Mr. Tendo nodded his agreement.  His expression
remained unreadable.  Jeff hoped that was a good sign.
     "I know she is of great value to you," he said, carefully
maintaining the image the Tendo family chose for Nabiki.  "But I
believe our union will benefit both our families.  Naturally, if
you disagree or believe your daughter should not marry a gaijin,
I will not question your decision.  I would never disgrace the
proud name of Tendo with such an act."
     Mr. Tendo, tears now streaming down his cheeks, looked at
Nabiki.  "Is this your will, daughter?  Do you agree to this
marriage with Lawrence-san?"

     So caught up in imagining how every dream she ever had was
about to come true, Nabiki almost missed her father's question.
"Huh?  Oh, yeah, you bet," she responded, adding a respectful
bow.  Why, she couldn't say.  It just felt right.
     "What of your previous objections?" Soun asked.
     Nabiki looked briefly at Kasumi's smiling face, grateful for
all her older sister's support.  "Yeah, well... someone explained
things to me.  I'm now ready to accept my role in life.  I will
become a good wife.  In fact, I REALLY like the idea.  Yup, ready
to tie the knot.  So, can I marry him, please, please....
PLEASE?"  She knew full well that her father's agreement was
guaranteed but went through with the formality anyway.  Her
father's incredulous frown caused her to roll her eyes.  "No,
Daddy, I don't HAVE to get married.  I WANT to get married.  You
see, he's rich."
     "WHAT?" everyone shouted loudly enough to be heard by the
crowd outside.
     "You put us through all that turmoil over marrying a poor
Jeff Lawrence and he turns out to be rich?" Akane asked in
astonishment, as she glanced between Jeff and her sister like she
wasn't certain with whom to be angry.
     "How rich?" Ranma asked, leaning on his fist and wearing a
skeptical expression like he still didn't trust the American.
     "Rich enough for me," Nabiki chirped, cuddling Jeff's arm.
     Obviously taken aback by his daughter's revelation, Mr.
Tendo abruptly stopped crying.  "Then, he's... I mean... you're
saying he's..."  His eyes glazed over.  Only Mr. Saotome's strong
arm prevented him from pitching forward onto the table.
     "So, Nabiki, when do you two wish to be married?" Kasumi
asked sweetly while pouring hot water into even more tea filled
cups.  This was her second load of cups.  Everyone in the room
had two in front of them.
     "Well...," Nabiki began, casting an apprehensive glance at
her fiance.  "We haven't really discussed that part yet."
     "If I may suggest," Jeff offered.  He couldn't help but
frown a bit.  There was one tiny part of this inheritance he'd
neglected to tell his future wife and her family.  One that might
not go down well with the Tendos.  "I propose to be married in
Hawaii next month."
     The whole room gasped as if Jeff had suggested something
unseemly.
     Mr. Tendo slowly rumbled to life like an awakening volcano.
"Are you suggesting that this ancestral family home, a home in
which my late wife and I were married, a home in which my three
daughters were born, is unsuitable for a wedding?"
     Jeff swallowed hard, realizing an indelicate approach to
this subject could have far reaching effects.  "Not at all, sir. 
You see, if I don't get married in America, I don't get the
inheritance."  He paused, hoping for some positive reaction from
the family.  Receiving none, he gulped again.  What I am
proposing is to fly all of you to Hawaii where Nabiki and I will
be married in a little Japanese-American church on top of a hill
overlooking the central plains of Oahu."  Jeff paused before
adding: "My parents picked it out."
     After a long pause, Mr. Saotome slipped in a question.  "Are
you saying that we all will be flown - free - to Hawaii - free -
to attend your wedding - for FREE?"
     "Certainly."
     "All expenses paid?"
     "Of course, that's what 'free' means."
     "And you get the money if you marry in Hawaii?"
     "Correct."
     "Works for me."  Mr. Saotome cast a smug look at Ranma. 
"Pack your bag, boy.  We're goin' to the islands." 
     "Not so fast," Mr Tendo warned.  "What about accommodations?
 I trust they will be suitable for someone in your position...
and of course your new family."
     "Naturally."  Jeff began to feel a little uneasy over the
kinds of questions they were asking.  It felt awkward repeatedly
assuring everyone that the entire wedding trip would cost them
next to nothing.
     "Free?" Mr. Saotome asked again with a tilt of his head.
     "Yes, free," Jeff replied, suppressing his frustration at
Mr. Saotome's preoccupation with the cost.  Maybe it had
something to do with how the Japanese finance a wedding.  Maybe
Genma Saotome was just cheap.
     The fathers glanced at each other, like neither was inclined
to make the decision.  Jeff got the uncomfortable feeling he
needed to offer something else - quick.
     "Did I mention the special beach luau bachelor party?"
     The two fathers grinned at each other.  You could almost see
the visions of dancing girls, lots of sake, and a whole roast pig
to themselves dancing in their heads.

     Nabiki interrupted Jeff's feeling of relief when her fingers
harpooned him in the ribs.  "Do you remember what I first called
you?" she asked, leaning over and using a calm but threatening
voice.
     "Uh, Jeff-san?" he ventured.
     "Nope."
     "Incredibly handsome gaijin?"
     "Not even close."
     Jeff sighed and closed his eyes.  "Toady worm."
     "Bingo."
     "That's not fair, Nabiki.  A guy is supposed to have a party
the night before his wedding.  You want me to break a tradition?"
Jeff asked with a raised eyebrow.  
     Nabiki looked like she wasn't sure whether or not he was
putting her on.  "I've heard all about this little 'tradition' of
yours," she growled back with crossed arms and a warning look. 
"Drinking to you're sick, carousing with loose women, and
engaging in all sorts of unsavory acts.  I will not allow you to
participate in one of those nights of debauchery."
     "Allow?" Jeff asked.  It sounded more like a challenge than
a question.
     Nabiki relented slightly, her chin dropping and a hurt
expression crossing her face.  "Well, maybe that's a bit strong. 
I just don't like the idea of another woman spending even one
moment in your arms."
     "Not to worry," Jeff replied, his familiar smile returning. 
"I promise.  It won't be that kind of party.  Just some food,
some local entertainment, and a night with the guys."
     Nabiki grimaced slightly before continuing to frown his way.
     "Look, you want this wedding to happen or not?" Jeff said
softly in his defense.
     Nabiki just increased the severity of her look - her head
tilting slightly to show Jeff the degree of her skepticism.
     "In case it has escaped your notice, your father hasn't
agreed yet."
     Nabiki glanced at the fathers.  They were excitedly talking
among themselves.  "Very well," she hissed.  "But it better be
the first AND the last time."
     "For you, anything."  Jeff allowed a little smile of
victory.  He wasn't worried.  He didn't need all the things
Nabiki mentioned.  As far as he was concerned, he was getting the
best girl in the world.

     "Okay, It's a deal," Mr. Tendo said with a smile.  "You have
permission to marry my daughter."  Then turning to Kasumi he
asked: "Do you think Mrs. Suzuki would be willing to watch the
place while we're gone?"
     "I'm sure she would be happy to as her wedding gift to
Nabiki," Kasumi said sweetly.  "She always liked Nabiki."
     Nabiki looked at Jeff and made a sour face.  She didn't
really get on with old people.  The overly affectionate Mrs.
Suzuki was one she took special care to avoid - which wasn't
easy.  The old lady seemed to have a sixth sense as to where
Nabiki was and when she would be home.

     As if on cue, the room erupted into chaotic discussions
about preparations for securing the residence, dresses and
tuxedos, and what everyone was going to see while in Hawaii.
     "I think the whole thing is so romantic," Akane finally
sighed, with visions of Nabiki, dressed in white, standing in a
grove of palm trees to get married.
     "You gotta be kidding," Ranma groused.  "The whole thing
took nine months, cost Jeffrey a bundle, and he still had to
confront her at school before she would agree.  That's not
romantic.  That's nuts!"
     Before Akane could react, Mr. Saotome interceded.  "Boy, you
would do well to take lessons in courtship from young Lawrence-
san here."  He grasped his surprised son's shirt by its collar. 
"But, since he's busy right now, I'll have to do it myself."
     With a move that surprised only Jeff, Genma tossed his son
out the open engawa, across the yard and into the koi pond.  A
loud splash and the Jusenkyo curse did its job once again.

     The Marine guards, hearing the commotion and fearing that
Jeff had been thrown out on his head, quickly converged on the
pond.  They skidded to a halt at the pond's edge when a buxom
red-headed female slowly stood up dripping wet - her ample charms
clearly displayed through her drenched top.  Four jaws hit the
ground at the same time.
     "What are YOU looking at?" Ranma-chan yelled at the four
gaping Marines as she removed her wet top.
     Four sets of eyes went wide at the topless girl standing
knee-deep in the tiny pond.
     Trying to ignore them, Ranma-chan began squeezing the water
out of her shirt while muttering about how amazing it was that
her father always seemed to hit one tiny pond surrounded by
hundreds of square feet of soft grass.
     Akane dashed across the lawn with an oversized bath towel. 
Meeting Ranma-chan at the pool's edge, she quickly wrapped it
around her gender-switched fianc‚.  "Since the curse turns you
into a girl, it wouldn't hurt for you to learn just a bit of
feminine modesty," she chided, casting a worried glance at the
Marines.
     "How can I learn anything with those four apes staring at
me?"
     Akane leaned closer.  "They're staring at you because you
took your shirt off."
     "Why should that..." Ranma-chan's voice trailed off when she
opened the towel enough to look at her chest.  "Ohmygosh," she
gasped, quickly covering herself again.  "I forgot about that."
     "What's important now is that we get you inside and into
some warm water so you can change back."  Akane began guiding the
red-headed female like a nursing home patient towards the house.
     Ranma-chan glanced over her shoulder with an irritated
expression at the still gaping Marines before yelling: "It's not
what you think.  I'm a guy, okay?" 
     The Marines glanced at each other as they turned away.  One
said loud enough to be heard: "Sheesh!  These Tendo women may be
hot babes but they're also loony as they come."

*****

     It was a beautiful Hawaiian morning at the Honolulu Zoo
where a special ceremony was taking place.
     "It is with a great deal of pride I welcome the
representatives from the Peoples Republic of China and their
traveling Panda exhibit," the American Vice-President said.  Loud
applause greeted the announcement.
     Standing next to him on the platform was the Chinese
Minister of Pandas, his eight assistants, an interpreter, four
people with weird-sounding zoological degrees, six secret service
agents, and two guys with oversized pooper-scoopers. 
Understandably, it was crowded.
     The Minister of Pandas whispered something to his
interpreter.  Turning to the American Veep, the interpreter
asked: "The minister wants to know how you like our wild pandas?"
     Chuckling broadly, the Vice-President smiled and nodded. 
"With BBQ sauce over a slow fire," he said, adding a guffaw.
     The interpreter stood stunned at the suggestion.  "Surely,
you don't suggest...," he gasped.
     The Vice-President's smile faded only briefly.  "That was a
joke, son."
     Relief washed over the interpreter's face.  "Oh, yes, of
course.  Very good."  He bobbed a couple of bows.
     Translating the joke to his superior, he held his breath. 
The Minister of Pandas thought about his response for a moment
before replying with a nod: "Then you must be very fond of dogs."
     "Oh, you bet," the Vice-President said with another chuckle. 
"I got ten or twelve of 'em back home at the ranch."
     "Ah, good selection," the Minister of Pandas said.  "We must
have dinner sometime."
     The Chinese Minister of Pandas smiled, the American Vice
President smiled, and the translator tried to think of some way
of avoiding a roast dog dinner.

     Nearby, deep in the shadows, two figures watched with great
interest as the pandas were unloaded into their simple compound.
     "What do you think?" the tall figure asked his partner.
     "Piece of cake," the shorter figure replied.  "We steal a
truck, sneak in after dark, disable guards, and grab the pandas."
     "And then?"
     "What else?  We demand an exorbitant ransom."

*****

     In a palatial residence in upscale Beverly Hills,
California, Montgomery Phillips, the spoiled nephew of the late
Ronald and Ruth Phillips, sat brooding in his medieval-decorated
great room.  Slumped in an overstuffed chair in front of a
crackling fake fire in a giant stone fireplace that would have
looked at home in an old English castle, the small man growled at
the suits of armor standing guard around the room's perimeter.
     "I KNEW those worthless pukes would leave all their damn
money to that stinking weasel.  It's always been: Jeffrey this...
Jeffrey that...  I'm so sick of hearing that illegitimate
bastard's name!  That's MY money he's getting.  I DESERVE to have
it."
     His fit was interrupted by the butler announcing his
personal lawyer.
     As the attorney nervously entered, Monty snarled.  "I want
my Great-Uncle Ronald's money.  Is there any way to fight that
damn will?"
     "I'm afraid not, sir," the attorney replied.  He should have
been used to his client's behavior by now but it still unnerved
him to be verbally assaulted in a room full of medieval weapons. 
"According to my sources, the will is iron clad."  Verbal abuse
was one thing but physical assault was another matter.  He ducked
a poorly thrown ash tray.
     "Why do I pay you vultures when you can't even get a simple
thing like a will contested?"  Monty flopped back down in his
overstuffed chair and pouted.
     "If I may, sir?" the lawyer continued.  "There is no direct
way to contest the will.  However, there appears to be a small...
ambiguity in what would happen should Mr. Jeffrey Lawrence be...
oh, let's just say: incapacitated."
     "Go on, you interest me."  Monty was calmer now.  He always
calmed down when discovering a way of getting what he wanted.
     "Well, to put it bluntly, if Jeffrey Lawrence were to meet
with an unfortunate accident, the usual legal result would be for
the inheritance to pass to another heir.  Provided, of course,
Mr. Lawrence is still unmarried.  Since you would be the next in
line, it would most certainly go to you."  The slimy lawyer
rubbed his hands together thinking of a large bonus he would
receive should this scheme work.             
     "An accident, huh?"  Monty leaned back, deep in thought. 
"Now, THAT has possibilities."

*****#*****         

     Three weeks later, back at the Tendo residence, Kasumi was
briefing the diminutive Mrs. Suzuki on the details of their trip
and making sure she had all the telephone numbers necessary.
     "I think it's wonderful that little Nabiki is getting
married," the old woman croaked.  "Wouldn't it be marvelous if it
could be a double or even a triple wedding?"  She chuckled openly
at her own suggestion.
     Kasumi nodded almost self-consciously.  "I'm afraid Akane is
closer to being wed than I."
     "Ah yes, little Akane," the old woman said with a frown like
she was trying to remember what the little girl looked like. 
"Isn't she promised in marriage to some strange Chinese boy?"
     "No, Suzuki-senpai," Kasumi said with a sigh. "Ranma Saotome
is Japanese."
     "And a damned strange one," the old lady finished.
     "Well, you got me there," Kasumi muttered to herself. 
Restoring her usual all-purpose house-smile, she looked again at
her neighbor.  "You have everything you need should there be any
trouble," she said, more reassuring herself than the old lady.
     "Don't worry, I'm sure little Akane's wedding will be fine."
     "Nabiki."
     "Nabiki?  Where is that little scamp?"  The old lady looked
around like she expected to see a seven year-old skipping into
the room.
     "It's Nabiki's wedding, Mrs Suzuki," Kasumi gently
corrected.
     "Nabiki?  Is she getting married too?"
     Kasumi just sighed and shook her head in resignation. 
Handing the keys to her confused neighbor, she turned to go pack. 
It really didn't matter whose wedding Suzuki-senpai thought they
were going to attend.  Just so long as the place was taken care
of while they were gone.  She only wished the old lady could keep
their names straight.

*****#*****

     Back in California, Monty Phillips finished an expensive
dinner at his favorite club.  He was dining there, not because of
the extraordinary pheasant under glass but because it featured a
phone that was so public it couldn't be traced back to him.  
     He happily dialed the number written on his napkin, just
before soaking it in his red wine to hide the numbers.  His plan
was perfect  It was simple, guaranteed fatal, and most of all, it
would preserve his deniability.  He chuckled as the number he'd
dialed began to ring.

*****#*****

     The next day, both families found themselves on a large
American airliner heading for Honolulu.  The fathers quietly
played an electronic version of Go on the vacant seat between
them.  Neither really liked the device very much, it offered no
way to cheat.  Still, it was going to be a long flight and there
were just so many magazines and movies one could stand.
     The girls, on the other hand, were finding it much easier to
adjust to the confining spaces of a 747.
     "What are you going to do first?" Akane asked her oldest
sister.
     Kasumi sighed as she swished a cool soft drink in its cup
and forced her eyes from the in-flight movie.  The last few days
had been the longest time she had ever gone without cooking,
cleaning, or doing the laundry and she was savoring every moment. 
Like a patient mother, she removed her earphones and smiled at
her little sister.
     "Oh, maybe spend a day at the beach," she said with a smile.
"Or do some shopping.  I always wanted to buy something nice to
wear at the beach."
     "Yeah, the beach sounds good.  I'm looking forward to doing
a little body surfing."
     Kasumi's pained expression was hard to hide.  Akane had all
the swimming potential of a hammer.  The girl could sink to the
bottom of a salt lake.  
     Kasumi was about to issue a caution to her sister when they
were interrupted by Ranma-chan tapping on Akane's shoulder.
     "This better be important, pervert," Akane growled, not even
willing to look at her gender-switched fianc‚.
     "It is!" Ranma-chan hissed.  "We've got to talk...
privately."
     Akane frowned as she glanced around the aircraft's cabin
before giving the red-head a confused look.  "Where?  We're on an
airplane.  There's no 'private' anywhere."
     "Yes there is.  Follow me."  She grabbed Akane's arm and
towed her quickly down the aisle.
     Near the galley, Ranma-chan made a quick turn into a vacant
lavatory.  Dragging a protesting Akane in behind her, Ranma-chan
slammed shut the door and turned, almost nose to nose, to face a
growling fiancee.
     "This better be good," Akane warned, trying to get as far
away from Ranma-chan as possible.  It wasn't easy.  Airline
lavatories were not designed to accommodate two at a time.  It
was closer than a Tokyo subway during rush hour.
     "Why do I have to travel as a girl?"  Ranma-chan whined. 
     Akane tried to cross her arms but failed due to her fianc‚'s
impressive female form.  "Because you got yourself drenched just
before your picture was taken at the passport office.  It's a
good thing Nabiki was able to convince everyone that 'Ranma' was
a strange girl's name.  We were very lucky.  Usually, there's a
six to eight week wait to get passports.  It took every favor
Nabiki had on her books to get us in as quickly as she did.  So,
since your passport says you are a girl, you have to travel as a
girl."  She couldn't resist adding with a sarcastic smile:
"Sweetie."
     Ranma-chan ignored the insult but squirmed uncomfortably. 
"You know how much I hate being like this.  I'm a guy.  I don't
know about certain... girl things."
     "What are you talking about, Ranma?  You're wearing the same
clothes you wear as a boy.  So, that can't be it."  Akane was
growing even more impatient with both their conversation and
confinement.
     "There's something else.  Something... personal."
     Akane almost hated herself for asking.  "Personal?"
     "You know, the thing you get every month that makes you so
crabby.  What will I do if it happens to ME?"
     "It does NOT make me crabby!" Akane yelled as it dawned on
her just what the little creep was talking about.
     "It sure does!" Ranma-chan yelled back, her voice echoing
uncomfortably in the limited space.
     The two glared at each other - which was just about all
either could do in such a confining little room.
     "I don't believe I'm having this conversation.  You're not
just a pervert, you're also an IDIOT!"
     "I AM NOT!  I just want to know what to do if.. IT happens,"
Ranma-chan yelled back.
     "It's not gonna...  Oh, why do I even try?" Akane said with
a sigh of resignation.  She quickly dug through her tiny purse
until she found a small cardboard cylinder.  Holding it up, she
hissed: "You just put this in..."
     Ranma-chan's eyes got huge.  "In... WHERE?"
     Akane cocked her head and gave Ranma-chan a look of
exasperation.
     Realizing just what Akane was asking her to do, Ranma-chan
reacted loudly.  "HUH-UH!  NO WAY!"
     A knock at the door interrupted the red-head's response. 
Irritated, Akane yelled at the door using her best high school
English: "One minute.  We come right out!"

     A lady waiting outside the door turned to the man in line
behind her and blinked.  "Did she say: 'We'?"
     "Beats me," he replied with a shrug.  "Don't you women go to
the bathroom in groups?"

     Back inside the lavatory, Akane's patience with her fianc‚
had finally run out.  "Then you can just wait until we get to the
hotel," she hissed in an exaggerated whisper.
     "But what if...?" Ranma-chan started.
     "Here," Akane growled, grabbing a handful of paper towels
and thrusting them at a confused looking fianc‚.  "Stuff these in
your drawers."
     With that, she unlocked the door and violently swung it
open, knocking Ranma-chan back onto the toilet.  The crowd
outside had grown to over a dozen people.  Once Akane excused her
way through them, all eyes turned to the red-haired Japanese girl
desperately trying to stuff a wad of paper towels down the front
of her pants.  
     Suddenly aware of her audience, Ranma-chan stopped, got a
disgusted look on her face and yelled: "WHAT?"
     The crowd quickly dispersed to find another lavatory.

     Akane returned to her seat muttering about how she couldn't
believe she was living with that jerk.
     "Is Ranma all right?" Kasumi asked sweetly.
     "I doubt that pervert was ever 'all right'," Akane huffed,
plopping down in her seat and jamming her headphones back on her
head.
     Kasumi was about to return to the movie when she caught
sight of Ranma-chan waddling down the aisle, her pants
overflowing with paper towels. 
     "Oh my," she gasped, before slowly turning back to the movie
and silently pleading with her mother to stop laughing.

*****#*****

     Tatewaki Kuno arrived at the Tendo residence early Saturday
morning.  Normally, he detested lowering himself to making such a
personal visit.  But since Nabiki hadn't returned his arrow
messages, thrown rocks, or even a servant-delivered note, he saw
no alternative.  He had grown bored staring at the same Akane
pictures day after day and was desperate for Nabiki to sell him
new ones.
     Poking his head through the partially open gate, he scowled
at the unkempt nature of the lawn.  Snorting his disdain, he
pushed open the gate and approached the front door of the house
as if something were about to ambush him from the tall grass on
either side of the walk.  He couldn't believe his sweet Akane was
living in this dump.
     Opening the front door, he announced his arrival.  When
there was no answer, he grumbled: "Where is everyone?"
     An elderly lady finally emerged from the hallway, carrying
an old broom.  She looked like she had just finished sweeping. 
Kuno frowned at her as he tried to remember if Nabiki had a
grandmother or something.
     Not taking any chances, he bowed formally.  "My apologies,
Obasan.  I am here --"
     "I'm not you grandma, sonny," the old lady warned, a harsh
look coming over her face.  "I'm Mrs. Suzuki.  They asked me to
watch the place.  Glad I did.  Their TV gets a better picture
than mine and you're keeping me from my favorite shows."
     "My humblest of apologies," Kuno said with another formal
bow - despite the fact he felt offended himself at being dressed
down in such a manner.  "I am here for --"
     "Ah, yes."  Mrs. Suzuki cut him off again.  "You're here to
mow the grass.  About time, too.  Now the mower is out back --"
     "With all due respect," Kuno interrupted stiffly. "I'm here
to see Miss Nabiki Tendo about a matter of business."
     "Oh, well, she's not here," Mrs. Suzuki replied with an
irritated voice.  "She and her family went to Hawaii for...
ummm."  She paused to scratch her head.  "Oh, yes, little Akane's
wedding."
     Kuno stumbled back a step, his mouth opening and closing
several times while he blinked quickly.  He couldn't believe what
he'd just heard.
     "Hey, that's pretty good," the old lady remarked with a
grin.  "My late husband used to be able to do that, too.  Course,
he could make funny 'popping' noises when he did it.  Can you
also make 'popping' noises?"
     "AKANE TENDO?  HAWAII?  WEDDING?"  Kuno was almost in a
state of apoplexy.  The mere notion that his beloved Akane had
slipped away to be married was enough to cause certain bodily
functions to completely shut down.  His brain wasn't doing so
well either.
     "You don't have to shout, young man.  I'm not deaf you
know."  Mrs. Suzuki poked the twitching Kuno with the handle of
her broom.
     He switched to making strange gurgling sounds as his body
vibrated against the open door.  He felt like his head was about
to explode.
     "My late husband used to be able to do that too.  Well, he
was best at it just before he died," she observed thoughtfully. 
"Sure you don't want that mowing job?  I'll pay you a whole five
thousand yen."
     Kuno stopped vibrating and let out a long, blood curdling
scream that echoed throughout Nerima as he ran blindly from the
residence.

     "I guess not.  What a strange young man," Mrs. Suzuki
mumbled as she returned to the main room where the TV was on. 
"Oh, crap!  He made me miss the 'Brady Bunch'."

*****#*****

     It was an especially dark night in Hawaii.  So dark that no
one observed a lone figure cutting the chain holding closed a
back gate to the city zoo.  A small delivery truck slowly drove
through the gate, past the drugged guards and down to the panda
exhibit.  
     Twenty minutes later, the truck, now loaded with two prized
female Chinese Pandas, drove back out of the zoo and headed for
the city center.  The thieves were certain that no one would
discover the theft until morning.  By then, they would have
hidden both the truck and the pandas.  It was a simple but
brilliantly executed crime.

*****#*****


     The wedding guests arrived in Hawaii around mid-morning and
easily cleared customs.  Ranma-chan, having shed her paper
towels, actually behaved the whole time.  Of course, Akane's
threats were likely the reason.
     Jeff and Nabiki met them at the exit from customs, having
taken an earlier flight to prepare for the family's arrival. 
Nabiki had to repeatedly assure her father that nothing improper
happened between her and Jeff during their two days in romantic
Hawaii.  After all, his mother was here and staying in a suite
just down the hall.
     A short van ride through the city brought the family to
their hotel.  They were not alone.
     A mob of a hundred or more young people milled about the
hotel entrance.  Wearing matching t-shirts and waving placards or
cameras, they seemed to be shouting something at the hotel staff
that blocked their entrance.
     "Is that a protest?" Akane asked, tilting her head to see
more of the crowd.
     "I'm not sure," Jeff replied as the van came to a halt. 
"You all better wait here until I find out what's going on."
     Climbing out of the van, he was surprised to see Ranma-chan
following.
     "I'm coming too," she said.
     Jeff shot the short red-head a questioning look.  This
wasn't the sort of thing Ranma would be good at.  Trying to
remain calm while surrounded by a mob was tough.  He'd seen his
father do it once when they got caught in the middle of a nasty,
rock-throwing mob in England.  It was one of the few times he had
been impressed with his father.
     Scanning the crowd, Jeff noticed that a few appeared to be
carrying martial arts items, a bo staff here and a pair of
nunchakus there, but none were brandishing them in an aggressive
manner.  For now, the whole episode appeared to be confined to
talk.
     Jeff and Ranma-chan edged close enough to listen, noticing
along the way that the matching shirts many in the crowd were
wearing had a familiar-looking Chinese actor's face on them.
     "I told you before, he's not staying here," a man standing
at the top of the stairs said in a booming voice.  From his
attire, he appeared to be a member of the hotel's management.
     "You can't fool us," called one young man from the crowd.
     "We heard he was shooting a movie here," another added.
     All this did nothing to clear things up for Jeff.  He pushed
closer.
     "Look, Jackie Chan is filming on the other side of the
island."  The hotel manager waved his arms in an exasperated
manner.
     "Nice try but I read on the Internet last night that he's
staying in THIS hotel!" called the first young man.  He held up a
'Welcome Jackie Chan' poster like a shield as he spoke.
     "Yeah, I went to three on-line chat rooms and they all agree
that he's staying here!" a girl yelled, pointing at the hotel.
     "I'm telling you he's not.  He was never here.  He's on the
other side of the island."  The manager shook his head in
disbelief.  "Now, break it up before I call the police."
     Turning on his heel, he stomped back into the hotel, leaving
a phalanx of bell boys to block the front door behind him.
     Unconvinced, the crowd milled about, grumbling about how the
Internet never lies and they just had to get inside to see their
movie idol.
     "Jackie Chan?" Ranma-chan asked Jeff.
     "Chinese actor.  Martial arts movies," Jeff replied while
continuing to critically eye the crowd.
     "Oh, yes.  I remember now.  Very funny guy.  Good actor -
for a Chinese," Ranma-chan noted.  She frowned at a couple of
passing fan-boys who were ogling her current female form.
     "Well, it looks like the crowd is breaking up.  In any case,
I doubt they're much of a danger to anyone."  Jeff smiled and
added a friendly greeting nod towards another group of guys as
they wandered past.

     After convincing everyone in the van it was safe, Jeff
helped the driver unload the family's luggage.  The entourage
filed into the hotel, getting strange looks from some of the bell
boys and the crowd of Jackie Chan fans out front.
     They were almost to the desk when the manager spotted them. 
"Whoa, you guys!  I told you Jackie Chan is not here!"
     "We're not here for Mr. Chan," Jeff said, holding up a hand. 
"We're guests.  I have reservations."
     The manager eyed the combined families, ending with a frown
Ranma-chan's way.  "What's with the Chinese kid?"
     Jeff glanced at Ranma-chan and groaned to himself.  She was
wearing her usual black and red outfit.  "She's not Chinese.  She
just dresses funny," he replied, biting his tongue and hoping no
one in either family understood his English or at least enough to
note his sarcastic response.
     With a sigh, the manager bellied up to one of the computer
terminals and began typing.  There was an anxious moment waiting
for the reservation to show before the manager appeared to relax. 
"Oh, yes, of course.  I'm sorry for earlier.  These Jackie Chan
fans are relentless.  Earlier this morning, we found two of them
hiding in a maid's cart.  They almost gave the poor woman a heart
attack."
     After assuring the manager there was no harm done, everyone
picked up their card-keys and headed for the elevators.  The
manager followed along to show them the way and ride heard over
the bell boys who were struggling with all the family's luggage. 
It turned out the manager spoke passable Japanese and carried on
a constant monologue with the fathers about what facilities the
hotel offers and made some suggestions about what sights to see
while in Hawaii.
     Once up on the fourth floor, the fathers were shown to their
shared suite while the girls and Ranma each got a deluxe room of
their own.

     As it was a beautiful Hawaiian day, the family decided to
start their trip off with a visit to the beach outside their
hotel.  However, preparations didn't go as smoothly as all hoped.

     "Why do I always have to wear a girl's swimsuit?" Ranma-chan
moaned.  We're already in Hawaii.  Why can't I just change back
into my male form?"
     "Because, stupid, we're going to the beach.  If you get wet
wearing a boy's swimsuit, you'll get arrested," Akane answered
with an annoyed expression.  "This is America.  They take a dim
view of topless public swimming."  She turned to her sisters. 
"By the way, why do I always have to provide clothes for this
pervert?"
     Kasumi shook her head and sighed.  "We've already been over
this.  He's your fianc‚ and in his female form, you are the
closest to his size."  She handed Ranma-chan one of Akane's
Speedos and like a frustrated mother, directed her towards the
bathroom to change.
     "Besides, Akane, it really doesn't make any difference what
you wear to the beach.  You never get in the water anyway,"
Nabiki remarked while idly looking out a window.
     "Yeah?  Well this time I'm gonna do some real swimming." 
Akane bristled.  "The reason I have trouble back home is because
the water around Japan isn't right for swimming.  Hawaiian water
is different.  People swim here all the time."
     Her two older sisters looked at each other and rolled their
eyes, certain it was going to be a long day for the lifeguards.

     Meanwhile, at the Honolulu International Airport, two
uninvited wedding 'guests' were arriving.  Tatewaki Kuno and his
crazy sister Kodachi were just passing through customs.  Kuno was
forced to bring his sister along when she discovered the reason
he was booking a flight to Hawaii.  If her honey, Ranma, was
going to marry anyone, it was going to be her.  She would try to
spare Akane for her stupid brother but if the girl got in her
way, she couldn't be held responsible for what happened.
     Customs went quickly until it came to the Kunos' luggage. 
Despite her brother's protest, Kodachi had insisted on bringing
everything she could conceivably need, including practically
every stitch of clothing she owned.  Altogether, there were
fourteen over-stuffed suitcases for the Customs people to search.
     Trouble for the Kunos began when a bundle of her favorite
black roses were discovered.
     "Sorry, ma'am.  Plants are not allowed," the customs
inspector said in an official but reasonably friendly voice.
     "I don't believe this," Kodachi gasped in Japanese to her
brother.  "What barbarians these Americans be to not recognize
such beauty."
     The inspectors exchanged glances.  Despite such plant life
being a common enough error, her indignant reaction only raised
further suspicion about what else the couple might be smuggling.
     When two packages of Kodachi's own sleeping potion were
found in the pants leg of her gym suit, drug-sniffing dogs were
called in.  Only when she convinced them that the powder was for
her because she had trouble sleeping in strange places did they
agree to simply confiscate it as well.  After the dog failed to
find any trace of real illegal drugs in her luggage, the customs
agents were almost convinced this was just a strange Japanese
couple and not real drug smugglers.  
     That is, until one of the agents began rummaging through her
unique rhythmic gymnastic equipment.  Kodachi Kuno wasn't known
as the Black Rose of St. Hebereke simply because of her affinity
to the strange flower.  It came from her notoriety as the most
dishonest competitor in the sport of rhythmic gymnastics.  She
had turned what should have been a honest sporting endeavor into
a deadly martial art, employing devious tricks to defeat or
remove from competition all who challenged her.  
     When one of the Customs Agents picked up an Indian club and
accidentally triggered it to spring open, revealing a series of
sharp spikes, the police were called.
     Four hours later, the pair were released after Kodachi
convinced them the club was a sample sent by her father's
company, new in the market of Nuevo-Gothic party favors and
novelties.  She was in Hawaii along with her brother to contact
potential customers.  However, until her story could be verified
and the appropriate paperwork filed, everything would have to be
impounded.
     Kodachi and her brother trudged into the hot Hawaiian
afternoon with what was left of their dignity.  It took two taxis
to get both them and their mountain of luggage to the hotel.
     As she looked out the window of the taxi, Kodachi smiled to
herself.  Somehow, she had been able to keep her most deadly
martial arts weapon; her three-meter ribbon.  Armed and
determined to stop a wedding, she pondered their next move.

*****#*****

     Genma Saotome and Soun Tendo, dressed in t-shirts and
swimsuits, found themselves a shady area just off the beach where
they could demonstrate their Tai Chi while ogling all the girls
that happened by.  Showing off their martial arts skills
surrounded by beautiful women wearing the least legally possible,
made this place much better than the beaches back home.

     Akane and Ranma-chan wandered past, engaged in their usual
debate about what to do first.  Akane wanted to prove her theory
about the differences in water being the cause of her swimming
problems.  The female Ranma, after irritating Akane with
complaints about her swimsuit being uncomfortably tight in the
bust and too loose in the butt, suggested they try the beach food
vendors.

     Kasumi settled into a comfortable little beach chair with a
contented sigh.  Her plan was to do some light reading and enjoy
the warm sun, a luxury she denied herself back home.  An extra
layer of sunscreen skirting her conservative one-piece swimsuit
made her skin glisten as she finished arranging everything on the
blanket under her shapely legs.  Being the polite girl she was,
she smiled and nodded whenever anyone even appeared to be talking
to her.  Unfortunately, it kept attracting strangers who assumed
she spoke English.  Some were stranger than others.
     "Pardon me, your bodacious beautifulness," came a voice from
nearby.  She looked over the top of her sunglasses to see a young
man standing next to her blanket.  He was about Jeffrey's age,
with shoulder-length blond hair.  His head bobbed lightly like he
was listening to some sort of rock music even though she could
see no radio.  His face reminded her of the 'before' picture for
an acne medicine ad.
     "You mind if I, like, share your sun with you?" he asked
with a goofy grin.
     "Hai," Kasumi responded with an unsure smile.  She didn't
understand a word he was saying even though he seemed nice
enough.
     "Yeah, like 'hi' right back at ya."  
     To her consternation, the blond guy flopped down next to her
towel, scattering sand everywhere.  Trying to conceal her
irritation, she swept the sand off her things as best she could -
her smile becoming harder to maintain.
     "Me and T-bone - that's my buddy - just blew in from the
coast looking for some gnarly waves and we're, like, gonna get
some babes and - do you like, have a friend?  For T-bone, I
mean."  
     The blond dude now had Kasumi totally lost, her smile slowly
melting into a confused frown.
     "Who's your friend, Kasumi?" Nabiki chirped in Japanese as
she approached.
     "I have no idea.  He just sat down and started talking,"
Kasumi replied in a bewildered manner.  "He's speaking English, I
think."
     "Hey, babe!" the blond beach dude said to Nabiki, adding an
annoying chuckle.  "You talk like the little oriental guy back
home who cuts the grass at my parent's house."  His head
continued to bounce like one of those bobble-head dolls people
put in the back window of their cars.  "Hey, if you two babes
could, like, be free tonight, me and T-bone could, like, show you
a cool time."
     "Well, he's certainly colorful," Nabiki observed, her
Japanese going a long way towards keeping their conversation
private.  "Probably, harmless.  I've heard the beaches are full
of his type."
     Jeff wandered up, holding in his hands three cool drinks. 
"Looks like you made a friend, Kasumi," he said.
     "Wow, dude.  You, like, speak the lingo too.  Way cool."
     "Although his English could use some work."
     "He's not really my friend, Jeffrey.  I was just being
polite and he stayed," Kasumi lamented, accepting one of the
drinks.
     "Do you want me to tell him to go away?" Jeff asked.
     Kasumi thought for a moment before replying.  "Try not to be
too harsh with him, Jeff-kun.  I'm sure he means well."
     Nodding that he understood, Jeff regarded the guy with a
friendly smile.  "I hope you don't take this wrong," Jeff said in
English as politely as possible, "but the little lady here just
asked me to tell you she's really not interested in whatever
you're offering.  She just wants a quiet afternoon on the beach."
     The blond dude, however, was not easily shooed off.  His
goofy grin quickly dissolved.  Looking Jeff up and down, he
slowly got to his feet and took an aggressive step forward.
"Yeah?  And what if I, like, don't think the babe really said
that?  I think you're trying to steal my babe."  He dropped into
a poor excuse of a martial arts stance.  "I know Kung Fu, dude. 
So you better, like, beat it now before I have to get rough."

     Jeff felt his face lose all expression.  Still holding two
drinks, he glanced around, checking if anyone was really
watching.  Even with his limited training, he could tell the
blonde was no fighter.  Trying to appear non-threatening, he
sighed and stared at the fool who was now making Bruce Lee
meowing sounds while lightly bouncing on his feet.

     Nabiki, seeing a nasty situation developing, stepped between
her fianc‚ and his antagonist.  Setting her jaw, she subjected
the blond to her most serious 'look'.  The former captain of the
Furinkan High School English Speaking Club prepared to deliver a
severe scolding.
     "Look, Bucko!" she growled in English, poking the blond in
his chest with her finger.  "Sister say she no like go away now."
     "That's telling him, Nabiki," Jeff added under his breath.  
     The blond guy just blinked and frowned at her warning.  That
wasn't the reaction she expected.  Why didn't he get the message? 
She'd used the right words.  Maybe he didn't understand English. 
She was certainly having difficulty understanding him.
     "Jeff-chan, do you think he understood me?" she asked her
fianc‚ in Japanese.
     "I'm not sure *I* understood you.  You were using English,
right?"
     With an exasperated growl, Nabiki reset her jaw and turned
to the guy once more.  It was time to play her trump card.  "I
call father you no go."
     That seemed to have the desired effect.  Still eyeing Jeff,
the blond slowly dropped his guard and began to back away,
offering only a weak parting offer to Kasumi.  "Hey, babe, me and
T-bone are staying down at the Beachcomber.  If you, like, change
your mind--"  
     He never finished as Nabiki shouted loud enough to attract
the attention of everyone nearby.  "GO!"
     The blond guy's scrambling retreat became most undignified
as he tripped over a couple of sunbathing girls, stumbled over a
child's sand castle and switched to scampering on all fours until
he could regain his balance.
     "Honestly, Oneechan," Nabiki said with a exasperated voice
as she dropped to the sand next to her sister's blanket.  "You've
got to stop trying to be nice to everyone you meet.  It just
encourages the weirdos."
     Kasumi sighed and switched to her 'hurt puppy dog' look. 
"But Nabiki, I was just being polite.  To be a good marriage
prospect you must always be polite.  It says so in my 'How To Be
A Good Marriage Prospect' book."
     Nabiki groaned and muttered how she was going to burn that
stupid book when she got home.  "Yes, you should be polite,
Kasumi.  Just be more careful who you are polite to.  This is not
Japan."
     Before Kasumi could agree, a scream from up the beach where
their fathers were drew everyone's attention, including the
police.  Jeff and Nabiki exchanged worried looks before racing to
the sound of the disturbance.  Ranma-chan and Akane arrived
seconds behind.  
     Inside a ring of curious onlookers, Genma Saotome and Soun
Tendo were being handcuffed by four large, serious-looking
Honolulu police officers.
     "Aw, Pop.  What did you do this time?" Ranma-chan whined as
she pushed her way through the crowd.
     "It was nothing, Son.  Really."  Genma winced when the
handcuffs snapped around his wrists.  "Not so tight, you mean
person."
     "Then why are you being arrested?"
     "I was just showing Sensei Tendo how to project one's ki
energy," the elder Saotome protested.
     "Were you showing him that stupid 'Reach of The Invisible
Dragon' crap you learned in China?"
     "What's that?" Akane asked, glancing between the humbled
Genma and his irritated female son.
     "You don't want to know," Ranma-chan grumbled.
     "Yes, I do," Akane insisted.
     "Pop bought a stupid book in a stupid tourist dive in stupid
Shanghai," Ranma-chan said with a snarl.  "It guaranteed to teach
him all the secrets of the ancient Chinese martial arts masters."
     "And?" Akane prompted, like she already knew where this was
going.
     "One of the techniques is projecting your ki so you can feel
things beyond your reach."
     Akane frowned at Genma and glanced at the obvious 'victim',
a well-stuffed twenty-something blond who was glaring at Ranma's
father while covering her oversized breasts with her arms.  "Your
whole family are perverts," Akane grumbled.
     "Father, how could you?" Kasumi scolded as she joined the
group.
     Mr. Tendo shook his head and tried to look innocent.
     Seeing her father in handcuffs, Nabiki spun around and
grabbed Jeff by his shirt.  "Do something!" she growled.
     "Do what?  These are cops, not street thugs."
     "Tell them to let Father go.  You're rich.  They'll do
whatever you say."
     "It doesn't work that way."
     "Jeffrey!" all three Tendo girls yelled.
     Jeff sighed.  "Oh, all right.  I'll talk to them."  

     It wasn't as if he didn't want to help.  He knew that to
allow his future father-in-law to be arrested might not be the
best idea if he ever expected to be welcome at the Tendo home in
the future.  He just wasn't certain police officers would listen
to someone his age.  Cautiously approaching the four officers, he
tried to look older.  Somehow, it came out like a famous trench
coat-wearing TV detective.
     "Ah, excuse me, officers."  The four policemen turned to
regard Jeff with suspicion.  "I hate to interrupt your arrest
because you're doing so well but I'm the host for these two
gentlemen while they're in this country and I really hate to be a
bother but could you tell me why they are being arrested?"  He
felt his left eye squint shut when he talked.
     "This young lady," the first officer said indicating the
tall, leggy blond with a figure to die for - or at least pay
extra.  "Has made a complaint against these two for..."  He
paused to read from his notepad.  "... illegally placing their
hands on a part of her body without permission."
     "Sounds terrible," Jeff said while stroking his chin with a
concerned look.  "Would you mind if I asked a few questions?  It
won't take but a minute."  When the officers just looked at each
other, Jeff turned to the young lady.  "Tell me, Miss.  I can
call you 'Miss', can't I?  Could you tell me where you were when
all this happened?"
     The blond eyed him like he was nuts before wiggling a
distance away.  "Right here," she declared with certainty.
     "Okay.  Where were the Japanese gentlemen?"
     "Where they are now,... I guess."  The young lady suddenly
got an embarrassed look on her face.  "But they could have been
closer."
     Jeff turned to the officers who were now trading skeptical
looks among themselves.  "Now, I'm no expert on distances,
officers, but it appears to me to be about twenty feet.  Unless
we're dealing with two extraordinary physical talents..."  He
left the rest to the officers' imaginations.
     "Miss," the second officer said, turning to the blond. "Is
it possible you were grabbed by someone else in the crowd?"
     "Well..."  She squirmed and bit her lower lip, glancing at
the crowd.  "I guess so.  But they were laughing."  She pointed
to the fathers and pouted.
     "They're Japanese," Jeff protested with a wave of his arms. 
"They're always laughing.  Didn't you see 'Tora, Tora, Tora'?"
     "Ah, Tora, Tora, Tora" the two fathers repeated with happy
bows.  "We won that one."
     "Shut up!" Nabiki yelled.  "You're both in enough trouble."
     "What do ya think?" the first officer asked his partner.
     "Twenty feet away would be hard to prove in court and they
are tourists.  You remember what the Mayor said about the value
of tourism?"
     "Okay, you two, we'll forget about it this time."  The
officers began to remove the handcuffs.  "But try to behave
yourselves while in Hawaii."  The fathers' exuberant Japanese
'thank-you's' were accompanied by more bows than an Akira
Kurosawa film.
     As the officers walked away, Jeff grimaced when he overheard
the first part of their conversation.
     "What's with the kid's 'Coloumbo' impersonation?"
     "Beats me.  Probably too much television."

     When the families were alone, Akane stepped in front of both
fathers with her hands on her hips.  "I can't believe you two. 
We leave you alone on the beach for ten minutes and you find a
way to get into trouble."
     "But Daughter --"
     "Not this time!" Akane yelled wagging her finger in her
father's face.  "You're just lucky Jeffrey was here.  None of us
speak good enough English to get you off so quickly.  You could
have spent Nabiki's wedding day in jail."
     "Yes, Daughter.  You're absolutely right.  We behaved
badly."
     "Good.  We're going back to the hotel now."
     "But --"
     "No buts!"
     Ranma-chan shook her head slowly as she followed her father. 
"How could you use your ki for physical pleasure like that?"
     "I was just demonstrating for my good friend --"
     "Like you did in Okinawa?"
     "What about Okinawa?" Akane interrupted, her eyes narrowed.
     Ranma-chan started to say something but stopped as if he
thought better of it.
     "Does this involve another fiancee?"  Akane's look became
almost as predatory as Nabiki's.
     "Well, maybe.  We're not sure.  See, there was this
priestess --"
     Akane cut him off with a raised hand.  "On second thought, I
don't want to know."  Shaking her head, she started for the
hotel.
     "You don't think it was MY fault, do you?" Ranma-chan
protested as she scampered after Akane.
     Akane jerked to a halt and glared at her gender-switched
fianc‚.  "Your father promises you to half the girls in the Far
East and I'm supposed to think you have nothing to do with it?"
     "That's right," Ranma-chan added hopefully.  "It's all Pop's
fault."
     "Two words, Ranma: Get help," Akane growled as she turned
away.
     "Well, what would you know about it, ya tomboy."
     Akane jerked to a halt.  "The only thing keeping me from
flattening you like an okonomiyaki right now is: one, it would
remind me of someone I'd rather not think about and, two, it's
too damned HOT!"
     The pair glared at each other for an uncomfortable moment.
     "Chicken," Ranma-chan taunted, adding an exposed length of
tongue.
     "That does it!"  Akane abruptly produced a large mallet and
began waving it like a sword.  Ranma-chan sprinted for the hotel
with Akane's mallet pounding the sand only inches behind.
     Jeff stepped between the fathers and took each by an arm. 
"Come on, guys.  I'll buy you ice cream on the way."
     "With nuts?" Genma asked with an eager expression.
     "You're already nuts," Jeff muttered in English.  "The whole
family is nuts."
     "What?"  Soun blinked at Jeff's comments.
     "I mean, of course you can have nuts.  Whipped cream too, if
you want," Jeff said in Japanese.
     As they were being led away, the two fathers grinned at each
other like little kids.

*****#####*****

     On the outskirts of Honolulu, a truck thief was running for
his life.  Instead of material valuables, the stolen contained
two very annoyed and very dangerous panda bears.  As the thief
fled, the pandas wandered off and the stage was set for the worst
week for the Honolulu Police Department since Pearl Harbor was
bombed.

*****#####*****

     That evening the bride and groom's families met for the
first time.  Both Jeff and Nabiki were apprehensive, but for
different reasons.
     Convening at a local country club, the families intermingled
in a large private meeting room before segregating by gender.  

     Jeff's mother and the girls hit it off immediately.  Nabiki,
however, kept her distance.  She was more than a little
embarrassed by the memory of what happened at the embassy
reception for the Japanese Prime Minister.  She worried that
Jeff's mother would remember as well.  
     When Mrs. Lawrence gave no hint that the incident was of any
importance, Nabiki's first inclination was to relax.  She might
have done just that except her strange warning sense began
tingling, causing her to shudder.  There was something about the
woman that attracted and repelled her at the same time.  She
couldn't put her finger on exactly what it was but vowed to
remain as much on her guard as she could.

     The guys, on the other hand, were having a few problems. 
After a short round of introductions and general small talk,
conversation stalled.  An uncomfortable silence hung heavily in
the air, punctuated only by the occasional notice of the weather
or some other neutral subject.  Even Ranma, gratefully back in
his male form, seemed at a loss for words.
     Certain his father wasn't quite ready yet to know about
Ranma's 'condition', Jeff refrained from bringing up the subject.
Instead, he scanned the room hoping to find something more
interesting to talk about than the weather.  Spotting a big-screen 
TV in the corner, he reached over and nudged his father. 
"Maybe there's a game or something on TV," he suggested.
     "Good idea," his father replied, bounding out of his chair,
heading towards the TV.
     In a matter of moments, he had a replay of some long-forgotten 
football game tuned in.  Soun and Genma leaned forward,
absorbing everything on the screen.
     Between plays there came a flurry of questions from the
fathers, most handled by Mr. Lawrence who seemed pleased to be
acting as a guide to his favorite activity.  Even Ranma appeared
to take an interest.
     Jeff pulled his father aside during a time out.  "I thought
American football has been shown in Japan for years.  They act
like this is the first time they've seen it."
     "I thought so too," his father replied with a shrug.  "Maybe
they just never paid attention before."
     That sounded reasonable.  The Tendos had just the one TV and
that was usually tuned only to silly game shows, soap operas and
the news.  Jeff checked the two fathers again.  There was
something unsettling about the way they were staring at the TV. 
"Great," he mumbled.  "Now we're perverting another culture with
our steroid-pumped, testosterone-laden modern gladiator games."
     "Huh?  What was that, Son?" his father asked, leaning over
but keeping his eyes on the screen.     
     Jeff sighed.  "Nothing, Dad.  I'm going to the rest room."
     His father only nodded, as if he too were engrossed in the
game to care where his son went.  Jeff shook his head as he left
the room.  He knew talking to his father was almost impossible
while the game was on - even one that was a taped rebroadcast.

     Leaving the rest room, Jeff glanced both ways.  With no one
watching, he figured he could sneak over to where the women had
gathered to do a little eavesdropping.  Maybe he could find out
some interesting things about his fiancee.
     Hugging a wall to remain out of sight, he crept close enough
to overhear his mother and the girls.  Instead of tales about
Nabiki, he heard his mother telling stories about HIM.
     She told them about the time he got lost in Harrod's
Department Store in London and ran from the staff when they tried
to retrieve him.  Then there was the time he fell asleep in the
embassy laundry causing everyone to fear he'd been kidnapped. 
Worst of all was her version of the time just after they moved to
Japan that he boarded the wrong train and ended up in Osaka.
     Jeff groaned, this was even worse than the football game. 
He was about to leave when he heard Akane ask about the missing
pandas she heard on the news.  Kasumi expressed concern that the
wild animals could be anywhere, even just outside.  The others
assured her the pandas were probably far away from populated
areas looking for food and a place to sleep.
     "I wouldn't worry, Kasumi," Nabiki said with a smug
expression.  "We should be used to dealing with pandas by now."
She flinched when Akane kicked her foot with an added warning
look.  Jeff couldn't tell if his mother noticed or not.  Her
expression had not changed other than one raised eyebrow. 
Obviously, she didn't yet know about Genma Saotome and his
'condition'.
     Kasumi must have caught the warning because she quickly
changed the subject and asked what London was like.  Jeff held
his breath waiting for his mother to answer.  She still looked
like she wanted to ask what Nabiki meant. 
     When she began her story about the sights of London, Jeff
let out a heavy sigh.  That was a close one.  There was no
telling what they'd do, if either of his parents suspected he was
marrying into a family with strange curses on its in-laws. 
Imagine trying to explain to the relatives back home about being
related to a pudgy, middle-aged martial artist who occasionally
turned into a large, furry panda.  He didn't even want to think
what they'd say about Ranma.

     Returning to the other men, Jeff discovered that only his
father and Mr. Tendo were still there.  "What happened to Ranma
and Mr. Saotome?" he asked his father.
     "They heard there was a Japanese water garden out back and
decided to see for themselves."  His father never looked his way. 
The second half had started.
     "I didn't know Ranma was interested in water gardens -
Japanese or otherwise," Jeff said more to himself than his
father.  In fact, he was certain that Ranma, of all people, would
most likely avoid such a body of water.  "I better check this
out."

     Outside in the garden, Ranma frowned at all the water. 
Despite the comforting sounds of flowing waterfalls, he was
anything but soothed.  It wasn't just his proximity to curse-
triggering water, either.  He got the uncomfortable feeling his
father was about to pull one of his famous 'training-is-a-24-
hour-a-day-job' routines.  He was right.
     When the elder Saotome attacked, it was all Ranma could do
to avoid getting whacked into the biggest pond.
     "Knock it off, Pop!  We might break something."  He ducked
under his father's jump-kick and leaned away from the follow-up
strike at his head.
     "You can't choose when an opponent will strike, Ranma," his
father growled.  "Defend yourself!"
     When his father attacked again, Ranma retreated - straight
up a nearby palm tree.  He flipped backwards off the tree less
than a second before Genma's kick cut its trunk in half.
     Landing in a crouch, Ranma watched in horror as the tree
toppled into one of the ponds.  "Now you've done it!  I'll bet
that was expensive."
     "Nonsense.  It's only a palm tree.  Hawaii is full of them."
     Before Ranma could protest, his father sprang towards
another tree.  Using it as a springboard, he launched himself
across the garden, ricochetting off the country club wall, then
off a statue, until finally streaking towards Ranma like a fat
heat-seeking missile.
     With a look of disdain, the boy waited until his father was
only a few feet away before calmly stepping aside, displacing his
body sufficiently to cause Genma to totally miss his target.
     Unfortunately, just downrange from Ranma, was a truly
enormous koi pond.  His father couldn't miss.
     A loud splash announced Genma Saotome's touch down, his
rotund body sinking like the Titanic in three feet of water. 
Naturally, it was just cold enough to trigger his curse.  So the
panda that came out was less than happy.
     "What's the matter, Pop?" Ranma chided as his father waded
through the pond.  "Gettin' slow?"
     The wet, annoyed-looking panda 'harumped' his answer and
took a step towards dry land.  The algae-covered bottom caused
Genma-panda's clawed feet to slip.  Wildly waving his furry arms,
Genma did a belly flop, splashing water everywhere, including on
a startled Ranma.  
     The boy's transformation was both immediate and unfortunate. 
Immediate in that Ranma now looked like a drowned female Chinese
street urchin.  Unfortunate because the commotion attracted the
snooty club manager.
     "What are YOU doing here?" the club manager demanded as he
came stomping into the garden.  "This club is for members and
their guests only."
     Ranma scoured his mind for any useful phrase he could
remember from the English classes he used to sleep through in
high school.  In desperation, he tried the first thing that
popped into his head: "Good Evening, Mister Brown."
     "Good evening, my aunt's fanny, young lady," the manager
growled as he started towards the nervous Ranma.  He only got
three steps from the door before jerking to a halt at the sight
of a dripping wet panda emerging from the koi pond directly
behind Ranma.  The man's eyes grew wide as he froze in place, his
mouth working but nothing coming out.  Unfortunately, Genma-panda
decided to try and explain the situation.  All that accomplished
was to make growling sounds that the manager interpreted as
threatening.
     Arms and legs all seemed to be working on their own as the
man scrambled back into the dining room screaming like a Hawaiian
Paul Revere: "The pandas are here!  The pandas are here!  Run for
your lives!"

     Jeff was just coming through the dining room when he
collided with a panic-stricken club manager who was screaming
something about killer pandas loose on the club grounds. 
Scrambling to his feet, Jeff bolted out the door to find the
garden empty.  The only clue that Ranma and Mr. Saotome had been
there were a fresh set of wet panda tracks leading out onto the
golf course.
     "This is not good," he mumbled while quickly retreating back
into the club.
     By now, the news about wild pandas rampaging outside had
swept through the clubhouse like a wildfire.  Jeff's parents,
concerned for the safety of their guests, kept trying to gather
the girls together for their protection.  The girls, however,
understood exactly what was going on.
     "I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!" Akane yelled in Japanese
at no one in particular.  "I knew those two would do something
like this!"
     "Maybe they really are the escaped pandas," Kasumi gasped,
clutching her hands together in front of her.
     Nabiki grabbed Jeff and hauled him off to a quiet corner. 
"Is it really the escaped pandas or did 'you-know-who' do
something stupid?" she demanded.
     "How should I know?" Jeff tried to protest.  "Ranma and his
dad went outside and the next thing I know, the club manager is
screaming about wild pandas on the rampage."
     "We've got to find them," she insisted.
     "Are you nuts?" Jeff argued.  "It's dark out there.  What if
it really is the escaped pandas?  Can you tell Mr. Saotome from a
real panda?"
     "Now that you mention it..." she started, acting as if
unsure of the proper course of action.
     "What about Mr. Saotome?" Jeff's mother asked as she
approached the pair.
     "Oh... uh... Mr. Saotome wasn't feeling well and... uh... he
and Ranma took a cab back to the hotel," Jeff lied.  All the
while he heard a voice in his head: 'You can fool all of the
people some of the time, and you could fool some of the people
all of the time, but YOU CAN'T FOOL MOM.'
     Obviously, the voice was right.  Anne Lawrence gave her son
a look that suggested he better come clean - or else.  Jeff
swallowed hard.
     "Anne, I think it best we get our guests back to the hotel,"
Jeff's father said as he rushed by, heading for the front doors.
      "Good idea, Dad," Jeff replied.  "Mom, I think he's right.
We need to see to the welfare of our guests.  After all, we ARE
responsible for them."
     With a skeptical frown, Anne Lawrence nodded slowly.  "Very
well.  I trust you will be responsible for Ranma and his father?"
she asked with an even more skeptical expression.  
     "Uh, sure," Jeff replied with a forced chuckle.  "No
problem."
     Still giving Jeff a look of warning, his mother herded
Nabiki and the girls out to their waiting van.
     "What was that all about, Son?" Jeff's father asked.
     "Dad, do you know what an aquatransexual is?"
     "No, I don't.  Is that something you're thinking about
becoming?"
     Jeff rolled his head to the side, regarding his father with
a pained expression.  "Remind me someday to tell you a funny
story about Jusenkyo."

     Out on the golf course, a short, red-headed girl and a large
panda were running for cover.  Amazing how little 'cover' there
is on a golf course when you're not hitting a golf ball.
     By the sand trap on the tenth hole, Ranma-chan had lost
sight of her father when she veered towards a collection of
houses lining the course.  Stumbling through some bushes, she
emerged in the back yard of an exclusive residential
neighborhood.
     "Okay, Ranma," she muttered to herself as she slowed to a
walk.  "All I gotta do is sneak back to the van and hide behind
the seats.  Akane will take care of me until we get back to the
hotel."
     Flood lights from the nearest house flashed on, illuminating
Ranma-chan and the entire back yard.  Caught in the open, she
bolted for a nearby yard that was dark and surrounded by a six-
foot-high privacy fence.  Clearing the fence in a single bound,
she discovered why the fence was there.
     Waiting for her to land were three large German Shepherds,
each with a nasty disposition about red-headed girls jumping into
their yard uninvited.
     Using a technique learned long ago, Ranma-chan bounced from
dog head to dog head, his feet never harming the dogs but also
never allowing their snapping jaws a clean bite.  Having never
touched the ground once, she cleared the fence on the far side of
the yard with a final bound.  The three dogs simultaneously
collided with the wood fence and promptly went berserk in their
frustration.
     Landing hard before rolling to a stop against a wooden swing
set, her shirt caught on something and was torn half off.  As
more backyard lights came on to the sound of three dogs angrily
barking, she spied a small pup tent nearby and dove in.

     Two 10-year old boys in their sleeping bags were suddenly
awakened by a semi-topless red head girl landing at their feet. 
They yelled.  The red-head yelled.  Flashlights lit the tent's
interior. 
     "Cool!" the first kid gasped.  Both boys stared at the twin
results of a Jusenkyo curse.
     "Hentai!" the red-head yelled.  Pulling shut her torn shirt,
she scrambled out of the tent.
     "Hen what?" the first kid asked his tent mate.
     "Beats me.  Maybe she was looking for chickens?" his friend
replied.  "Can I spend tomorrow night here?  Maybe, she'll come
back."
     "Cool!  I'll bring my camera."

     Further up the street, Genma had his own problems.  Having
lost his son somewhere on the tenth fairway, he decided to try
escaping through the bushes that lined the golf course. 
Exploding through the obstructions like a large, furry running
back, he struck paydirt on his first attempt.  
     There, in an unfenced yard, was a bubbling pool of
salvation; an unused hot tub.  The back yard was totally dark,
only the underwater lights of the tub providing a guide.  He
slowed just enough to do a little victory dance in the yard
before heading towards the tub.  All he needed was a few seconds
in the hot water and he could sneak back to the country club, his
appearance a little damp but otherwise unremarkable.  Of course,
his lack of clothes might be difficult to explain but he figured
he could work that out later.
     He had just reached the small deck where the hot tub sat,
when a light went on and a woman wearing only the bottom half of
the thinnest bikini he'd ever seen came giggling out of the
house.
     "I'll wait for you in the tub, honey," she called over her
shoulder before scampering towards the tub.  Two thirds the way
there, she collided with something large and furry.  Bouncing
off, she froze, her eyes wide and mouth agape.  Genma, being
within three feet of an almost naked woman had a completely
different reaction.  Seconds seemed like hours as the woman saw
her life pass before her eyes.  Genma saw something entirely
different.
     He made a mistake trying to grin.  Unfortunately, on a
panda, a grin looks more like a snarl.
     The woman screamed louder than an air raid siren and
scrambled for safety of her house.  Genma did a quick triple take
between the hysterical woman and the hot tub.  No time.  He had
to get away.  With a woof of irritation, he turned and beat a
four-footed retreat back the way he had come.
     Behind him, more backyard lights flashed on.  Dogs were
barking, people were yelling, and the lady was still screaming as
she yanked on an apparently locked door.  All things considered,
the dark golf course was looking pretty good right now.

     Ranma-chan had just escaped a backyard light problem of her
own when she ducked around a small storage shed, over a chain
link fence and into some thick bushes.
     In the bushes, she ran smack into something warm, furry and
familiar.
     "Oh, it's you, Pop," she gasped while patting the sitting
panda on its leg.  "Good thing I found you.  We gotta get out of
here."
     The panda just sat and stared.
     "What's the matter with you?" she yelled. "We can't let them
catch us like this.  Come on."  She grabbed the panda's front paw
and tugged it towards the golf course.  The panda, apparently
having had enough of the conversation, smacked Ranma-chan up the
side of her head, rolling her clear of the bushes.
     "Still mad, huh," she said.  "Well, I can take you, no
matter what form you're in."  With that, began one of the
strangest fights Ranma had ever been in.  Repeatedly, she struck
the panda and just as repeatedly, she was cuffed about.  Her
father's 'new technique' was something she had never seen before.
     "You've been holding out on me," she growled, dodging a
furious series of swipes from the panda's sharp claws.  "What's
this technique called?  The Wacky Panda?"
     But the panda was in no mood for further discussion.  Baring
its fangs, it attacked.  Two more dodges and Ranma-chan delivered
a knockout blow.
     Gasping for breath and hearing police cars approaching, she
suddenly realized what she had done.  She could still escape but
her father would have to be left behind.
     "Sorry, Pop.  But it's your own fault," she said before
sprinting towards the dark golf course.

     The police, backed by anxious zookeepers armed with
tranquilizer guns, swarmed the neighborhood.  They quickly found
the unconscious panda and bound it for transport back to the zoo. 
A shout from further up the street drew their attention to a
second panda running on two legs towards their position.
     "Damnedest thing I've ever seen," one police officer said. 
"I didn't know pandas ran on two legs."
     "Don't matter," a zookeeper said as he spit out some chewing
tobacco and raised his tranquilizer gun.  "We"ll drop him before
he causes any more mischief."
     The panda had other ideas.
     "Will you look at that?" the officer said.  "He looks like
he's trying to surrender."
     "Naw," the zookeeper replied, taking careful aim.  "Bears do
that just before they attack." 

     Genma, his front paws still raised, felt the first dart
pierce his leg.  What was wrong with these people?  Didn't they
recognize someone surrendering when they saw him?  Stupid
Americans and their guns.
     He spun around and dropped to all fours.  Before he could
run, a second dart struck in his rump and the world began to get
fuzzy.  With pleasant images of the woman at the hot tub in his
mind, he wobbled for a moment before collapsing on the soft grass
of the tenth fairway.

*****#####*****
     Tatewaki Kuno was in a bad mood by the time he reached the
expensive hotel he had picked from a travel brochure.  It was
already dark.  He had spent almost the entire day trying to
convince the authorities that he and his crazy sister weren't
international terrorists.  It was all his sister's fault anyway;
she and her lethal assortment of rhythmic gymnastics equipment. 
The only thing he wanted now was a hot bath and a soft bed.
     Shoving a couple of young people wearing Jackie Chan t-shirts 
out of his way, he stomped into the hotel, leaving his
sister and all the luggage behind.  As far as he was concerned,
she could get her own junk inside.  He'd had enough of her
trinkets.  Casting only a brief glance back her way, long enough
to see her calmly directing members of the hotel staff loading
her luggage onto carts, he paused a few feet inside the doors and
waited.
     A few moments later, Kodachi led her little procession
inside.  Like a movie star, she strutted past her brother,
slowing only to trace a seductive finger across her brother's
firm jawline.  Kuno slapped at the hand in disgust before he
elbowed his way past her.
     At the front desk, he glared at a clerk who was sorting
mail.  "If you don't mind..," he said in his most commanding
voice.  "My sister and I would like two of your finest rooms, and
be quick about it."  Folding his arms, he assumed a posture he
knew looked every inch the samurai he believed himself to be.
     Unfortunately, the desk clerk didn't understand a word of
Japanese.  He just blinked at Kuno.  "A moment, please.  I'll get
the night manager," he said in English before disappearing into a
back room.
     "Brother, you obviously don't command the respect you
deserve in this establishment," Kodachi said fingering the only
weapon she was able to salvage from the airport authorities; her
ribbon.  "Perhaps, I should try."
     "Fear not, my sweet-but-brain-damaged sibling," Kuno crowed,
turning to face his sister.  "For I, Tatewaki Kuno, shall deal
with these common innkeepers and, rest assured, they will rue the
day they crossed me."
     "May I be of assistance?" a deep voice behind him said in
perfect Japanese.
     "Of course, you moron..."  Kuno's voice faded away when he
turned back around and got a look at who was speaking.  He
swallowed hard at the sight of the biggest Asian man he'd ever
seen outside a sumo ring.  The man was more than just bulk. 
Towering over the smaller Kuno, he appeared to have muscles on
top of his muscles.  "I... I... would like a room... or two...
please."
     "Well, we're quite full right now," the night manager said
looking at a computer screen behind the counter.  "Do you have a
reservation, sir?"
     "I, Tatewaki Kuno, needn't bother with such things," Kuno
said resuming his arrogant posture.  "There is always room at the
inn for a Kuno.  The penthouse suite, perhaps."
     "Unfortunately, all the suites are booked, sir," the manager
said with a chuckle.  "Tourist season, I'm afraid.  We only have
a single room with two beds."
     "A common room?" Kuno gasped at the suggestion.
     "I'm sorry, sir.  That's all we have left."
     "I don't believe this," Kodachi theatrically moaned.
     "Is this your wife?" the night manager asked Kuno, surveying
Kodachi with a look that bordered on disbelief.
     "My sister!"
     "My condolences."
     One could almost see tiny puffs of smoke shoot out of Kuno's
ears as he attempted to form in his mind an appropriate riposte. 
His sister, however, wanted to get a room before morning.
     "We'll take whatever you have, thank you," she said in a
syrupy voice as she handed the night manager her credit card.
     "Very well, Miss."  The manager finished registering the odd
couple and handed them card-keys to their room.  "One room, two
beds.  Enjoy your stay."
     Kuno snatched his key-card from the manager and turned to
glare at the unfortunate bell boy, who was still struggling with
the mountain of Kuno luggage.  The young man grimaced as if he
suspected there wasn't going to be much of a tip tonight.
     Kodachi demurely accepted her key-card and smiled at the
manager.  "You have to forgive him.  He's a little stressed
tonight.  You see, we came all the way from Japan to stop a
wedding."
     "You don't say," the manager replied with a hint of
skepticism in his voice.
     "Oh, yes."  Kodachi smoothed her light sun dress, making
certain he could see she wasn't wearing a bra underneath.  It was
sometimes so much fun to tease.  "My poor brother's girl has been
stolen by some terrible young man.  You can see how distressed he
is about it."  She paused pensively before a sudden thought
occurred to her.  "Oh, I understand the bride is still under the
legal age in this country.  Do you suppose the authorities would
be interested in that?"
     "Are you coming?" her brother growled.
     "He's so immature," she replied to the manager with a light
sigh.  "You can see why the girl is perfect for him."  
     The manager was about to say something but decided he didn't
need the trouble.  Instead, he just smiled and held out a hand,
indicating the elevators.
     "See, brother, if you're nice to people, you can get
anything you want," Kodachi chided as she passed him on her way
to the elevators.
     Kuno wasn't listening.  He was too busy herding the poor
bell boy and growling about having to share a room with the Black
Rose of Insanity.

     The Kunos weren't in the elevator two minutes when the
Tendos and Jeff returned.  Avoiding the few Jackie Chan fans that
had continued their faithful vigil out front, Akane broke away
from her family and scampered up to the front desk.  Struggling
with the right words in English, she asked the towering man
behind the desk if either Ranma Saotome or a shorter red-haired
girl had come in.
     The night manager, having a soft spot for damsels in
distress, quickly checked with the rest of the staff.  No one had
seen either.  With great deference he personally assured her that
they would all keep a look out for both.
     Disappointed but grateful for the manager's help, Akane
thanked him before joining her family and Jeff in the elevator. 
While everyone else talked excitedly about the evening, Akane
brooded in the corner.

     When the elevator doors opened, Akane lagged behind.  She
hesitated a moment before following Kasumi to her room.
     As she opened the door to her room, Kasumi was only slightly
surprised to find her younger sister standing behind her.  With
her head down and digging a toe of her shoe in the hard carpet,
Akane looked miserable.  "Akane?  Is there something wrong?" she
asked with a motherly expression.
     Without a word, Akane slipped past and entered her sister's
room.  Inside, she began pacing between the door and the window
that overlooked the Pacific Ocean.  
     Figuring her sister would eventually get to the reason for
this visit, Kasumi calmly sat on the end of her bed and smoothed
out her skirt.  "It was a lovely evening with Jeff's parents,
wasn't it?" she noted with a wistful smile.
     "Hai, Oneechan," Akane said, pausing to look out the window. 
"I really like his mother.  He's very lucky to have a mother like
her."
     "Yes, in many ways she reminds me of our mother."  Kasumi
was a master of small talk.  She had to be.  It said so in her
'How to Be a Perfect Hostess' book.
     With a flap of her arms, Akane suddenly sighed.  "I wonder
what happened to Ranma.  I... I hope he's all right."
     Kasumi smiled to herself.  She, alone, knew how much the two
really felt about each other and attributed their bickering to
the fact they were still little more than children.  In time, she
reasoned, they would understand and nature would take its course. 
Maybe, Akane was finally beginning to realize it.
     "I'm sure he's fine, Akane," she said in a motherly way. 
"He's a big boy and can take care of himself."
     "I know," Akane said as she turned to face her sister. 
"It's just he doesn't speak enough of the language to even ask
where a toilet is.  If I hadn't let him copy off my test papers
in English class, he would have failed for sure."
     Kasumi looked at Akane for several seconds.  "There are many
people in Hawaii who speak Japanese.  He's sure to find one
sooner or later and they'll direct him back to the hotel."
     "Oneechan," Akane began with an embarrassed expression. 
"When he first disappeared, I was angry.  All I could think of
was how he was screwing up our trip to Hawaii.  Then, on the way
back here, I began to think just what my life would be without
him.  What if he never came back?"  Akane paused and swallowed
hard with a look of resignation.  "I guess, I really do care
about him."
     "I always thought so," Kasumi said matter-of-factly.
     Akane blinked a couple of times at her sister before looking
down at the floor and smiling.  "Just don't let him know."
     "Not a word."
     The sisters hugged and Akane quietly returned to her own
room.  Closing the door, Kasumi leaned against it and sighed. 
Casting a look at the ceiling, she shook her head.  "Mother, if
you don't sort those two out pretty soon, they'll drive me
crazy."  She frowned at the answer.  "Stop laughing, Mother. 
It's not funny."

     Down the hall, Nabiki and Jeff were working out a few things
of their own.  As she unlocked the door to her room, Jeff's arms
surrounded her slim waist.  She felt his firm body press against
hers but resisted her instinct to let him continue.
     "And just what do you think you're doing?" she asked with
mock sternness.
     "Well... I just thought that since we'll be married in a few
days anyway...," Jeff muttered in her ear as he gently nuzzled
the nape of her neck.
     Nabiki felt a shiver of excitement at his attention. 
Pressing back, she could tell what he wanted and liked the
feeling.  The invitation was more than appealing, she'd dreamed
about just such a situation many times over the last year and
fulfillment of those dreams was only a few steps away.  But she
forced herself to remember that now was neither the time nor the
place.  There was too much going on and too many family members
were close by.  Besides, as she once told him, she had her
reputation to protect.
     Carefully, she reached down, took hold of his thumbs and
easily peeled herself free.  Turning to face her fianc‚, she
regarded him with a serious expression.  "I have only three words
for you: After - The - Wedding."
     Her words and determined expression worked.  Jeff nodded and
turned to leave.  She knew he was in distress but couldn't help
it.  Besides, another night of suffering in anticipation would be
good for him.  Of course, a little 'extra' anticipation could
make the wedding night one to remember.
     Her hand shot out and grabbed his arm.  Pulling him into a
passionate embrace, she kissed him with all the desire she'd
built up over the last year - her hand lovingly wandering down to
stroke his tight buttocks.  
     When he began to respond, she broke the kiss and gently
pushed him away.  Stepping into her room until only her head was
showing, she flashed her most mischievous smile.
     "Cold shower?" he gasped with raised eyebrows.
     "Cold shower," she replied before closing the door.

     "Well, It could be worse," he muttered walking down the hall
towards the elevators.  "Cold water could activate a really
rotten curse like Ranma's."
     Ranma.  He'd almost forgotten about the poor fellow.  "I
wonder whatever happened to him," he said to no one in particular
while pressing the 'up' elevator button.  He caught sight of a
tall, rough-looking hotel maid, pushing a housekeeping cart
towards him.  Odd, he thought, maids don't usually work late at
night.
     The elevator doors opened and he stepped inside, pressing
the button for his floor.  As the doors closed, he heard two loud
'thumps'.  Thinking it was the maid trying to catch the elevator,
he quickly punched the 'Door Open' button but was too late.  The
elevator had already started its ascent.
     "Sorry, babe," he said to himself with a chuckle.  "You'll
just have to catch the next one."

     The maid snapped her fingers in disgust at missing such an
easy target.  Two wicked-looking daggers still quivered in the
closed elevator doors as she abandoned her cart and scampered for
the stairs.

     Ranma-chan slowly wandered the streets of downtown Honolulu,
slipping quietly from shadow to shadow.  Every time a car passed,
she melted back into the darkness and held her breath.
     Peering out from her hiding place, she cursed herself for
not paying better attention in the van on the way out.  She
didn't recognize any of the buildings.  It didn't even look like
an area where the hotel would be located.  Most of the buildings
were rundown-looking.  Certainly not like the bright, open area
he remembered about the hotel.  
     Knowing he wasn't going to find it hiding in the shadows,
she sighed and started again down the street.
     Just clearing the pool of light from a downtown gas station,
her world was suddenly illuminated by a powerful spotlight. 
Shielding her eyes, she froze while frantically looking for an
escape.
     With flashing lights, a Honolulu Police car pulled over to
the curb and one of its officers stepped out.  Holding his
flashlight on Ranma-chan, he asked: "Miss, would you come over
here for a moment, please."
     Ranma-chan fought a wave of panic.  She was alone, with no
passport or other identification, wearing torn and dirty clothes
and couldn't understand a word the police officer was saying. 
His gestures, however, said all she needed to know.  He wanted
her to come closer.  
     She'd heard stories back in Japan of what police in other
countries were like.  It was an experience to be missed. 
Besides, didn't they try to arrest her father and Sensei Tendo
this morning?  Only the intervention of Jeff saved them from a
jail cell and Jeff was certainly not available here and now. 
Fearing what would happen to her in the hands of the American
police at night, the choice was obvious.
     Without warning, she bolted towards an alley just twenty
meters away.  Behind her, she heard the officer shout and the
squad car's squealing tires as it began its pursuit.  She easily
reached the alley and turned quickly into its welcoming darkness. 
Passing dumpsters and trash cans, she ran with increasing fear. 
She could hear the pursuing foot officer's steps echoing off the
buildings and the revving engine of the squad car not far behind. 
The pounding of her heart matched her rapid strides as she dashed
for freedom.
     The combined lights of the pursuing car and the officer's
flashlight showed an escape route.  Ahead lay a delivery truck
blocking the alley.  Next to it was a parked car.  
     With a single bound, Ranma-chan ran up the car's hood,
jumped onto the top of the delivery truck and then onto the roof
of the nearest building.  She heard the police officer trying to
duplicate her feat.  His cries of pain indicated he landed short
of the truck echoed down the alley.

     "Damn!" the foot officer yelled as he punched the hood of
the car.  "Call it in, Fred.  We've got a runner."
     The officer in the squad car put in the radio call while
slamming the vehicle into reverse.  Its tires squealing, the
squad car shot back out into the street.  As his partner worked
his way carefully around the parked truck, the car sped off down
the street and rounded the next corner.  Sirens of other patrol
cars could be heard off in the distance, closing the net on the
fleeing red-head.

     Ranma-chan ran with fluid ease across the flat roof tops. 
Only a little further and she'd be able to look for a way down. 
Sounds of sirens passed below, heading towards the alley,
suggesting she'd made good her escape.
     Rounding a small brick structure on the last roof, she
collided with two other bodies.  The three collapsed in a heap.
     "What the..," one of the bodies yelled.
     "It's a girl!" the other shouted.
     Ranma-chan shook her head to clear it.  Rolling over on the
gravel roof, she sat up and tried to figure out where she was.
     "Hey babe, what's your hurry," the first said.  She felt a
hand grab her wrist.
     "You know, Red, I think we can forget the break-in.  I feel
more like a little entertainment.  What do you say, honey?" the
second asked with a greasy grin, his gaze roaming Ranma-chan's
obvious charms.
     "You don't mind doin' it on a roof top, do ya?" the red-haired 
burglar asked, licking his dirty lips.  He slowly reeled
in his intended prey.

     By now the first patrol car had reached the end of the block
and was shining its searchlight on the edge of the roof looking
for any movement.  The officer didn't have long to wait.  Almost
immediately, a body came flying over the edge of the second story
roof and landed with a loud 'ooooof' on the hood of his car. 
With a groan, the red-headed burglar rolled off the hood and onto
the ground directly in front of the car's headlights. 
     "Did you get her?" the first officer gasped as he rounded
the other corner of the building.
     "Yup.  Old Red here musta fallen off the roof trying to get
away," the second officer said as he knelt to examine the body on
the ground.  "Funny, I thought we were chasing a female."
     "Male, female, what's the difference?   We got him.  That's
all that counts."

     Ranma-chan, still gasping for breath, finished with the
second burglar.  An ugly indentation in the brickwork marked
where his body had slammed into a raised section of the
building's outer wall.  The burglar now lay unmoving on the hot
tar and gravel roof.
     Despite having dispatched a pair of would-be rapists, Ranma-
chan still feared capture.  The police were still milling about
below.  Retracing her steps back the way she'd come, she silently
bounded down the truck and out of the alley.  All things
considered, she had been lucky.  The police were busy down the
block but some were on the move again, their flashlights scanning
the roof edge.  
     Ducking into the gas station, she avoided the clerk and
slipped quietly into the women's restroom.
     "Gotta hide till the police go away," she mumbled, locking
the door behind her. 
     Looking across the bathroom, she saw hope.  A sink!  Hot
water! She reveled in the thought of being normal once again. 
Turning both taps on high she waited for the warm liquid that
would reverse her despicable curse.  
     Disappointment soon engulfed her as neither tap would run
hot.  With tired disgust, she snapped the taps shut and slapped
the cold porcelain surface with her open hands.  Her head dropped
to her chest in resignation.  She was condemned to spending
another night as a girl.  
     Collapsing onto the filthy floor, she huddled under the sink
and listened carefully for any sign of activity outside.  She was
still listening when exhaustion overtook her.  Maybe in the
daylight she could find her way back to the hotel.
     With her head resting on raised knees, Ranma-chan spent her
first night in Hawaii on the dirty restroom floor of a downtown
gas station.

*****#####*****

     The next day dawned as beautiful as Hawaii could provide. 
Fluffy white clouds dotted a deep blue sky that stretched to the
far horizon.  Both families gathered for the wedding rehearsal at
a little church nestled on a palm covered hill overlooking the
central plain of Oahu. 
     Despite the pleasant surroundings, a vague feeling of unease
gnawed at Jeff as he traded inane observations with his father. 
It wasn't a normal case of pre-wedding jitters.  Like an odor
that conjures a memory, something about the day or the location
bothered him.  
     If Nabiki felt something similar, she hid it well.  The
distractions of organizing her own wedding, despite the help of
Jeff's mother, seemed to fully occupy her attention.  While she
knew little about Western weddings, it didn't seem to matter. 
When it came to her wedding plans, what Nabiki wanted, Nabiki
got.  The result was an odd mixture of East and West that might
have seemed out of place for anyone but a Tendo.  
     Her sisters proved to be a mixed blessing.  Kasumi willingly
followed instructions and seemed to be enjoying the whole
experience. Akane, however, constantly drifted off by herself,
distracted and somber.
     Jeffrey tried his best to revive Akane's sagging spirits. 
"I'm sure Ranma and Mr. Saotome are fine.  I've notified the
police and they've assured me they will be on the lookout for
both of them," he said, holding up his cell phone.  "And the
hotel promised they would call me immediately, if either show up
there."
     "Jeffrey," Nabiki said as she paused on her way inside.  "We
can't have a proper rehearsal without Ranma.  He's the best man."
     "We'll just have to work around his absence and fill him in
later when he shows up."
     "IF he shows up," Akane mumbled.  She looked terrible from
lack of sleep.  Her night had been spent pacing her room, her
mood swinging between worry and anger.  Almost hourly, she had
called down to the main desk asking if there had been any word on
Ranma.  Through it all, Kasumi stayed with her, reassuring her
sister that all would turn out okay.  Still, Akane feared the
worst.
     Under most conditions, she was certain that Ranma could take
care of himself.  His expertise in martial arts would see to
that.  But this was America and Americans carried guns.  Scenes
she had seen on TV of violent crime in America haunted her with
images of her fianc‚ bleeding to death in some dark corner of the
city.

     It was almost noon before the minister could get the wedding
party in their places.  All went well as could be expected with
the best man missing, the maid of honor distracted, and the
bride-to-be growling when things went wrong.  More than once,
sharp words were exchanged between the two younger sisters. 
Kasumi, who was standing in for their departed mother, often had
to step between them to keep the peace.  By the time the
rehearsal was over, all parties concerned were convinced the
wedding would be a disaster.
     "Tendo-sensei, why don't you and the girls take the limo
back to
the hotel," Jeff suggested when the families gathered outside. 
"Nabiki and I need some time alone."
     "I... I would rather stay here awhile," Akane said in a tiny
voice while casting glances at the minister.  While not the
religious type, she was drowning in her own fears for Ranma and
appeared desperate enough to seek comfort from a higher source.
     Kasumi agreed to stay with her sister.  They would be ready
to leave by the time the limo returned.  As Jeff's parents had
other plans and their own vehicle, that left only one person to
transport. 
     Soun Tendo gleefully bounded into the back seat of the
limousine, reveling in the luxury he had all to himself.  He
looked only slightly out of place in his shorts and loud Hawaiian
shirt.  With a sigh of resignation, Jeff closed the door and gave
the driver some final instructions.
     As the limousine drove off, Jeff noticed a large puddle
where one of the tires had been.  Kneeling down, he touched the
puddle and rubbed some of the liquid between his fingers.  It
wasn't oil.  It was something else.  Brake fluid?
     With alarm, he snapped a look towards the route the limo had
just taken as the sickening sound of something big crashing into
the trees cut through the morning air.
     He feared the worst as he led a wild scramble to the crash
site.  All the while his mind whirled with reasons for such
sabotage.  Why would someone try to kill his future father-in-law?  
What sort of enemies could he have in Hawaii?
     To his relief, the accident wasn't as bad as it sounded. 
The car's front bumper and left front quarter panel were damaged
but the car was intact and in no danger of falling further off
the road.  The driver was already examining the damage when the
others reached him.
     "Are you all right?" Jeff asked looking around for Mr.
Tendo.
     "No problem," the driver replied, pushing his hat back
further on his head.  "Gonna be in the shop for a while though."
     Nabiki yanked open the rear door and looked in.  There, in a
heap on the floor, was her father, a smashed cigar in one hand
and what was left of a bottle of white wine in the other.
     "Does this mean the ride's over?" he asked in a dazed voice.
     "Yes, Daddy.  The ride's over," Nabiki replied.
     She helped her father out of the car, but not before he
grabbed a handful of cigars from the humidor and an unbroken
bottle of wine from the bar.  He may not have gotten his
exclusive limousine ride but he wasn't leaving empty handed.

     After arranging for another limo, Jeff led Nabiki down a
path through the trees until it opened out onto a little clearing
with a beautiful view of the ocean.
     "I'm sorry, Jeffrey," Nabiki said, as she released his hand. 
"I can't understand why everything seems to be going wrong."
     Harboring his own suspicions, he hesitated sharing them with
Nabiki.  With all she was going through with the wedding, the
last thing she needed to worry about was his own feeling of
unease.  "Just a run of bad luck.  It won't last."
     "I hope it ends soon," she said.  "I don't want MY wedding
ruined."
     Jeff tried to remind himself that her use of 'my' instead of
'our' was just the different way women looked at their wedding
day.  He watched her move gracefully towards a large palm that
seemed to tower over the others.  "Everything will work out," he
finally said.
     "You sound like Kasumi," she chided.
     Suppressing a chuckle, he shook his head.  "I suppose.  But
she's probably right."
     "I hope so.  You know, I never thought much about getting
married before I met you.  I didn't realize how much work it
involved."
     "I'd say you're doing a pretty good job.  After all, you
took care of all the required paperwork."  Jeff tried to be
encouraging but grimaced at how clumsy he must have sounded.
     "Your mother did that.  Your mother did almost everything. 
I guess I should be grateful but I hate feeling so... so
helpless."  She made an exasperated gesture with her hands. 
"It's supposed to be MY wedding."
     "It is and everyone knows that.  They're just trying to
help."
     "Only your mother knows what a real wedding is supposed to
be like," Nabiki said, looking out towards the horizon.  "I've
never even been to a Western wedding."
     "I guess it's tough being the first sister to marry."
     Nabiki sighed and nodded.  "Especially with my sisters.  One
of which can't seem to keep her mind on her few simple tasks."
     "Akane's just worried about Ranma."  Jeff ran a hand through
his hair.  "It's only natural.  After all, they are engaged."
     Nabiki smiled and looked almost irritated.  "It's not your
typical engagement.  It's one of those stupid arranged marriages. 
They were promised to each other by their fathers."
     "Yeah, I think Ranma mentioned something about that," Jeff
said,
rubbing his chin.  "Kinda rough on both of them."
     "It's just... they're so young.  They haven't had a chance
to
mature before having all this responsibility pushed on them." 
Nabiki
leaned against a palm tree, her arms and legs crossed.  The wind
whipped her skirt and blew hair across her face as she frowned at
the grass.
     "We're not much older."
     Nabiki smiled her crooked smile.  "We're different and you
know it."
     Taking her hands in his, he gently pulled her to him.  As
her head came to rest on his shoulder, he heard her sigh. 
Holding her in a protective embrace, he savored the feeling of
her warm body against his.  
     "You ever wonder just what we are doing here?" she asked in
a far away voice.
     "I thought we were getting married."
     "I mean besides that."  She looked up at him, a quizzical
expression on her face.  "Since coming to Hawaii, I've had the
oddest
feeling that I'm here for something else as well.  Something...
something I can't explain." 
     "Quite so, little one," came a familiar voice.
     Jeff and Nabiki looked to the source and noticed a small,
white-haired Japanese man dressed in a traditional yukata,
leaning on a polished seven foot tall shakujo staff, its six
rings of enlightenment shining in the sunlight.  His bushy
mustache seemed to attempt flight as he smiled.
     Jeff instantly recognized the man.  "Master Sato.  But
how...?"
     "That is not important, Jeff-san," the old man replied, his
smile fading.  "I am very sorry about being the bearer of such
bad news but the elders have decreed this wedding must not take
place."
     For a moment, Jeff couldn't believe what he was hearing. 
After all he had gone through.  Now, the person he most respected
in the world was demanding the nuptials be terminated.  His mind
whirled with angry thoughts as he battled for an appropriate
response.
     "I know you won't understand this but the elders say she is
not suitable, Jeff-san." 
     "Suitable?" Jeff yelled back at his Shinobi master.  "What
gives them the right to determine who is or is not suitable for
me to marry?"  Instinctively, he moved between Nabiki and the old
man.
     "You are the product of an ancient prophecy, my son," Master
Sato said in a measured voice.  "You must marry from within the
clan in order to fulfill that prophecy."
     "You never said anything about this before."
     "As you will recall, you were twelve years old when you left
my care in London.  I did not feel the subject of marriage or
prophecy was suitable for a person of such age."  The old man's
look remained hard and demanding.  It was the same expression he
wore whenever Jeffrey failed at some task or otherwise
disappointed the old man.
     "I don't care what you or these 'elders' say.  I'm going to
marry Nabiki with or without their blessings."  Jeff enveloped
Nabiki in his arms and glared at his clan master.
     "Such insolence."  Master Sato's voice was more of pity than
chastisement.  "I'm really sorry about this but the elders await
you."  He lowered his staff and mumbled his apologies while
slowly oscillating the tip in the young couple's direction.


     The sun seemed to dim before disappearing completely.  The
whole world went from colorful to dull, depressing black.  An
unearthly silence enveloped Nabiki.  She could no longer feel the
ground beneath her feet.  When she tried to move, to escape the
crazy old man before he could complete his spell, she found her
arms and legs refused to function.  Jeff's embrace had vanished
with the light, leaving her with a feeling of cold isolation.
     Suspended in a black void, unable to speak or move, she felt
like a weightless puppet on a string.  As if someone were pulling
that string, her body began to float downward.  The lack of
sights or sounds created a sickening sense of disorientation.
     Moments later, a sudden flash of light caused her to flinch
and turn her head away.  A cold gust of air crawled up her spine. 
Bitter sweet odors that seemed more liquid than vapor slithered
over her like the slimy tentacle of a sea monster.  She gasped
and tried to hug herself to stop her sudden trembling but her
hands only twitched at her side as if they were controlled by
someone else.  
     A second flash of light, this one brighter than the first,
accompanied the sensation of her legs folding under her an
instant before she touched down on something large and soft. 
With her eyes squeezed shut, she gasped for air as the light
returned.  This time the light didn't go away.
     When she tried to open her eyes again, she could only squint
in the painfully bright luminescence.  Centered in a pool of
light, she found herself kneeling on a large, soft pillow, her
head bowed and her arms limp at her side.  She blinked a couple
of times, trying to get them to focus again.
     When they did, she was in a cave or some large underground
cavern that seemed to have no beginning or end.  Its walls were
either too far away to be seen clearly or blended in with the
same black color as the smooth floor underneath her.  A series of
flaming pots seemed to float in the air, forming a giant ring
around her.  Their light cast a series of constantly changing
shadows across the floor that took on hideous forms of creatures
seen only in nightmares.  Turning her head slightly, she could
make out Jeffrey a few meters away, kneeling much like herself on
a large pillow, surrounded by a separate pool of light.  If this
was intended to intimidate her, it was certainly working.
     "So, you are the young woman who would defy prophecy," came
a
deep male voice from darkness in front of her.
     "She has captured the heart of our young clan member,"
boomed
another male voice from the same general direction.
     "I wonder," began a third.  "What sorcery did she use to
turn him away from his destiny?" 
     There was a slight pause, as if the voices were considering
the answers to their own questions.  Nabiki looked at Jeff,
silently pleading for guidance or at least reassurance.  He
remained still and strangely quiet.
     "Perhaps she is truly in love with him."  The second voice
sounded almost conciliatory towards her.  That was a good sign,
she thought.  Maybe she could just explain how things were and
they would understand.  She forced herself to swallow and licked
her dry lips.
     "It is possible," came the first voice.  "They are both
young."
     Yes, Nabiki thought.  That was exactly it.  She felt a
glimmer of hope.
     "Tell me, child, would you care for this man?" asked the
first voice, like a grandfather quizzing a small child.
     "Hai!" Nabiki answered, almost surprised that her voice
worked at all.  Perhaps after a few questions they would be
satisfied and them both go.  Yes, that was it.  All she needed to
do was answer a few simple questions and these crazy old men
would be satisfied.
     The second voice quickly followed with another question. 
"And would you protect him?"
     "Hai!"
     "Would you... give your life for him?" came the third voice,
harsher than the others.
     Before she could answer, Jeff momentarily broke through
whatever held him silent.  
     "NO!"  His cry echoed throughout the chamber.  "That's not
fair..."
     A sharp wind passed her body, hissing like a snake.  Jeff
grimaced as it struck him, his head snapping backwards and his
throat moving as if fighting an invisible hand.  Beads of sweat
ran down his face.
     "The question is hers!" the third voice boomed, clearly
irritated at Jeff's interruption.  "Answer, child!  Would you
hold your life above his?"
     What kind of question was that?  Nobody asked a prospective
bride if she was willing to give up her life for her husband. 
Such a thing was barbaric, unworthy of even the primitive past of
her people.  She loved him, yes, but sacrificing her own life for
him was something she never considered.
     "She fails to answer," the third voice crowed before she
could formulate a reasonable reply.  "She cannot be the one.  She
is but a foolish child full of romantic dreams, a girl of no
consequence."
     A flare of anger surged through her.  How dare they demean
her in such a way?  Her anger felt like a burning on her chest. 
When the burning sensation grew, she looked down and gasped.  A
dull amber spot showed through her blouse where her only piece of
jewelry hung.  The little amber-c