Nabiki - New Horizons
                     Chapter 16 - End of An Era
                          by G.L. Sandborn


     For the rest of the week, Nabiki continued her early morning
departures, followed by her late evening arrivals.  She said little to
anyone about what she was up to.  Even Kasumi was unable to get more
out of her than what Akane had already revealed.  All Nabiki would
admit to was she had business in town each day.  
     By Wednesday morning, Kasumi noticed a particular quickening in
her sister's pace.  She was especially interested when Nabiki cornered
Tofu and held a short but serious discussion with him.  She couldn't
hear what was being said but the sight of him seriously nodding his
agreement so quickly made it clear that something special was about to
happen.
     Just before noon, Tofu asked the fathers to go with him to buy
paint for the dojo.  When Soun protested, siting the lack of money,
Tofu happily noted that Nabiki had authorized the purchase.  The
fathers were surprised but suspicious.  They still suspected something
was going on.  Tofu, now in on Nabiki's plan, interrupted Soun with
the announcement that the trip included lunch - on Nabiki.  That
seemed to break the stalemate.  With only cursory continued
reservations, the two fathers agreed.
     As Kasumi and Nabiki stood in the doorway watching the three men
disappear through the gate, Nabiki smiled at how well the plan was
working.
     "We need to get Ranma and Akane in the main room," Nabiki said to
her sister while smiling towards the departing fathers.  "Everything
must be arranged properly."
     "I understand."  Kasumi answered as she waved at her father. 
"You going to tell me what this is all about?"
     "Sure.  I'm getting Ranma and Akane quietly married as soon as
possible.  I want everything to be done exactly in accordance with
traditional courtship rules.  That way no one can claim we cut corners
or in some way did something that could be challenged."
     "Very sensible."  Kasumi nodded her agreement.
     "Mrs. Suzuki has agreed to be the go-between for our sister and
Ranma."
     "I understand."  Kasumi was smiling happily now.  It was
sometimes handy to have such a schemer for a sister.  "All will be
ready when Mrs. Suzuki arrives."
     The two older Tendo sisters, finished with 'seeing off' the
fathers, quietly closed the door and stood looking at each other. 
Their long silence was broken by sudden snickering and giggles. 
Kasumi had to admit, this was fun.
     An hour later, Akane, dressed in a semi-formal kimono, knelt
uncomfortably on a pillow in the main room.  Ranma sat across from her
dressed in only slightly more respectable clothes than his usual
attire.  Both looked nervous.  Only the width of the family's heavy
wood table separated the young couple.  Akane kept casting nervous
glances at her fiance and blushing.  Ranma, as usual, didn't care much
for getting 'dressed up', even if it was for a good reason.
     All either had been told was it had to do with Nabiki's plan for
resolving the fiancee issue.  Naturally, they were curious what that
meant exactly.  Their suspicions centered on the obvious: marriage.
     Kasumi scurried around the room, carefully arranging the tea cups
on the table and seeing to it that there was sufficient tea for such a
formal meeting.
     Nabiki waited patiently at the front door - occasionally casting
nervous glances at her watch.  She knew there was only going to be a
narrow window of opportunity in which to perform this portion of her
plan.  If not completed on time, it could jeopardize the whole scheme.
     Her wait was soon rewarded by a soft knock at the door.  Opening
it, Nabiki smiled and bid their guest welcome.
     Slowly, Mrs. Suzuki waddled into the main room and bowed to
Kasumi, the lady of the house.
     "I'm here as a go-between for Akane Tendo," she announced in a
clear voice that demonstrated her long experience at such duties.
     Kasumi formally welcomed their guest and motioned for her to sit
between Ranma and Akane at the large table.  Nabiki, after helping
Mrs. Suzuki assume a comfortable position on the largest pillow the
Tendos owned, took her own place next to her older sister and offered
their guest some sweets.
     The whole affair began with small talk about the weather and
gossip concerning the activities in the neighborhood.  It was clear by
the way Mrs. Suzuki avoided eye contact with Kasumi that she still
harbored some guilt about the results of her last matchmaking effort.
     "Tendo Akane," the old woman finally began the formal portion of
the meeting.  "I'm here on behalf of a young man who has expressed
interest in you.  I'm told he is from a fine family and should be
considered a suitable marriage prospect.  Do you wish to continue?"
     Akane never looked up, her gaze locked on the tea cup on the
table in front of her.  This was like a dream come true for her.
"Hai."
     Mrs. Suzuki pulled out a sheet of paper Nabiki had given her
earlier, adjusted her glasses and read from it - detailing the Saotome
family history.  It was complete enough in tales of his ancestors to
cause even Ranma to take special interest.  His father had told him
little about their family - preferring instead to concentrate on the
present and his particular brand of martial arts.  Obviously, Nabiki
had been very thorough in her preparations.
     When Mrs. Suzuki finished, all that could be heard in the room
was the ticking of the clock on the wall and Nabiki's noisy tea
sipping.  Kasumi slowly rolled her eyes.  Her sister never did learn
how to sip tea properly.
     "Do you accept this young man as coming from a good family?"
     Akane continued to look at her tea cup, never moving to pick it
up, and nodded.  "Hai."  She worked to make her voice high and kawaii.
     "As you've known him for five years, there is little about him I
could tell you that you don't already know.  He is honest, hard
working, and would be a good provider.  Do you wish to consider the
last five years as your courtship?"
     Akane softly smiled and glanced up to see Ranma staring at her
with a wistful look.  As they looked deeply into each others eyes
across the old family table, Akane could see genuine compassion for
her.  She could also see all the adventures they had shared, all the
troubles they had endured together, and all the hopes they both held
for the future.
     "I accept Saotome Ranma as my Iinazuke."  Akane's voice was soft
and feminine, like she was assenting from her heart.  She blushed
again and lowered her gaze to the table.  This had been a long time
coming.  It had taken five years for her to fully accept in her heart
Ranma and everything that went with him.  She lightly mused how it had
all been worth it.
     Mrs. Suzuki turned to Ranma and roughly outlined what Akane would
be bringing to any union.  "Do you find the terms of this arrangement
acceptable?"
     Shaken out of his revere, Ranma blinked and looked at the old
woman. "Huh?"
     "The terms.  Do you find them acceptable?"
     "I... guess so."  Ranma glanced at the other two sisters to get a
clue.
     Nabiki leaned over towards him.  "She means do you accept the
dowry and all that other stuff she mentioned."
     "Dowry?"
     "Don't worry.  You and your father will be well taken care of." 
Nabiki sounded disgusted at the mention of any kind of financial
conditions.  Ranma should have known that he would be well provided
for.  He quickly caught her drift.
     "Oh.  Ah... sure.  Whatever."  He tugged at the collar of his
shirt and tried not to sweat.  He wasn't doing a very good job.
     Mrs. Suzuki wrinkled her nose behind her glasses.  Ranma's
response was less than completely dignified.  But, she'd come to
expect as much from the young man - considering who his father was and
all.  She looked at Kasumi.  "As the representative of Akane's late
mother, is Saotome Ranma an acceptable fiance for Tendo Akane?"
     "Well..."  Kasumi paused with a contemplative look - like she was
considering all the possibilities.  Ranma and Akane both watched her
apprehensively - like they feared the possibility of Kasumi calling
off the entire engagement.  "He has some bad habits and we know of no
property he has to offer."  Ranma's jaw dropped and his look became
panicked.  Kasumi lightly smiled before continuing.  "However, I have
found many traits about this suitor that would indicate his
suitability for Akane.  I believe it would be a acceptable match."
     Ranma and Akane let out simultaneous sighs of relief.
     Mrs. Suzuki nodded her agreement and turned to Akane.  "Do you
wish to complete this match and become Saotome Akane?"
     Akane opened her mouth to say something but paused.  Slowly, a
scowl crept across her face.  Nabiki and Kasumi exchanged nervous
glances.  Something was wrong.
     "What is it, child?"  Mrs. Suzuki tilted her head, determined to
get to the bottom of the girl's sudden hesitation.
     "It's just.... well... Saotome Akane doesn't really sound all
that good.  I mean, it sounds sorta... goofy."
     The stunned silence that followed was punctuated by Nabiki and
Kasumi slapping their foreheads.
     "Akane!  You've had FIVE years to think of this."  Nabiki's
irritation at her sister's sudden reluctance was more than obvious.
     "Yeah, and what's wrong with my name anyway?"  Ranma blinked and
stared at Akane, more out of shock than anger.
     "It doesn't sound right with 'Akane'."
     "What's wrong with it?  Saotome Akane sounds alright to me."
     "Well, to YOU it would."
     Both kids were now getting themselves worked up.  Despite the
frantic but low-keyed hand-waving and warning looks from Kasumi and
Nabiki, Ranma and Akane were beginning to act like... well, Ranma and
Akane.
     "Hey, I can't help it if you were given such a goofy name."
     "Are you saying my name is goofy?  What about Sow-toe-may?"
     "My family has a long and noble history.  You heard what the old
lady just read."
     The 'old lady' in question just leaned forward resting her cheek
on her fist and stared at Nabiki.  Unfortunately, Nabiki never saw
this as she was too busy leaning forward herself, her head held in her
two hands.  She couldn't believe it was happening again.
     "I don't see why I can't just do like Nabiki did - combine the
two names 'Tendo-Saotome'.  Akane Tendo-Saotome sounds much better."
     Kasumi quickly intervened.  "I was proud to assume *my* husband's
noble name."
     "Yeah, well, it was easy for you.  Ono Kasumi sounds a lot better
than Saotome Akane."
     "Look, ya tomboy, I've lived 21 years with this name and it's a
pretty good one--"
     "--Why don't YOU change your name to Tendo?  Guys do that, ya
know."
     "Because he's an eldest son," Mrs. Suzuki muttered with a heavy
sigh.  "He has to carry on the family name."
     "Well he doesn't have to be such a JERK about it!"
     As the Akane-Ranma Rumble gathered momentum, Nabiki tossed a
sweet to get Mrs. Suzuki's attention.  The old lady looked up, the
sweet sticking to her hair.  Nabiki loud whispered: "Just say it!"
     "Huh?  Oh, right."  Mrs. Suzuki sat upright and declared in a
loud voice: "As both parties have essentially accepted the terms to
this engagement...," Ranma and Akane got even louder in their argument
so Mrs. Suzuki almost had to scream to be heard.  "... I declare this
engagement complete and preparations for the marriage can take place
at a mutually agreeable date.  Thank you."
     Akane, now totally engaged in the argument with her fiance, began
to glow.  Kasumi was the first to notice it.
     "Akane Tendo, don't you dare do that in this house!"
     Akane must have heard her because she switched from glowing to
swinging an oversized mallet.  The first blow landed short, impacting
the table and sending sweets and tea cups flying.  Ranma quickly got
the message and bolted from the room with a slower moving, on account
of her kimono, Akane right behind.
     "Come back here you worm!" 
     The sounds of Akane chasing Ranma through the neighborhood were
punctuated by a mallet impacting the street and the shouts by people
for them to knock it off.
     Nabiki sighed loudly.  "Well, that came off pretty well, don't
you think?"
     Her answer came as Kasumi and Mrs. Suzuki pelted her with a hail
of sweets.

     Two hours later, Kasumi had finally cleaned the last of fallout
from the go-between's meeting.  Mrs. Suzuki, fearing all the
excitement had been a bit much for her, had waddled home to take a
nap.  
     Akane had returned briefly to change into her serious 'Ranma
hunting' clothes.  She had calmed down considerably - especially after
Kasumi's little 'heart-to-heart' talk - and set out to find her
fiance.  She wasn't angry, just irritated and concerned.  This latest
incident had brought home to her the importance of being able to talk
things through with Ranma.  All her chasing and pounding had done
nothing to resolve either her name problem or Ranma's attitude. 
Ranma, however, was now nowhere to be found.
     As Tofu returned with the fathers, Nabiki and Kasumi were calmly
sitting around the table in the main room sipping tea.
     "We bought the paint."  If Tofu had expected a standing ovation,
he was going to be a bit disappointed.  Both women continued to sip
their tea and look across the table at each other with lazy eyes.
     "So, what's going on?"  Soun's question was innocent and
nonchalant.
     "Nothing's going on, Daddy."  Nabiki took a noisy sip of her tea
and worked a little harder on her trance-like stare.
     "There's nothing going on, Tendo."  Soun's eyes rolled towards
his friend.
     "So it would appear, old friend."
     "Perhaps we should see about sharpening the mower's blades."
     "What? Again?"  Genma's surprise was aborted by Soun's elbow to
his ribs.
     "We might as well, seeing there's nothing going on."
     "That's right, father.  There's nothing going on."  Kasumi's eyes
looked lovingly at Tofu who seemed to melt under her gaze.
     "Well, since there's nothing going on..."
     "Quite right, old friend.  Since nothing is going on, we might as
well go sharpen the mower blades."
     The two fathers nudged each other and, with barely contained
gestures, departed to 'sharpen the mower blades'.
     "Don't you even want to see the paint I bought?"  Tofu plopped
down on a pillow between the two women and pouted.  He had expected a
more enthusiastic welcome from the women than this.
     "No, dear.  I'm sure it's just fine."  Kasumi took a quiet sip of
her tea and smiled innocently at her husband.
     "It's really pretty paint," Tofu pouted as he leaned forward and
supported a cheek on his fist.
     "Tofu-baby, I'm sure you got wonderful paint."  Nabiki paused to
take another sip of her tea.  "Now be a dear and shut up so we can
listen as the fathers try to sneak up on Akane and Ranma.
     "Neither of whom are currently home."
     "But that shouldn't stop Daddy and Mr. Saotome."
     "Never has."
     "Especially since we left a few 'clues' as to their whereabouts."
     Tofu had been ping-ponging his attention back and forth as the
women outlined their plans.  To say he was thoroughly confused would
be an understatement.  "Clues?"
     "Bits of clothing, a book or two - all leading up to Akane's
room."
     "Why Akane's room?"  Tofu adjusted his glasses and scowled at
Nabiki.
     "Because that's where Daddy and Mr. Saotome placed the bugging
device."  Kasumi sighed.  She had found the device a few days ago
while cleaning her sister's room.  She was going to throw it away but
Nabiki said she had a better idea.
     "I suppose we better start the diversion," Kasumi sighed.  Her
father was SO predictable.
     "I suppose.  Tofu-baby, would you be a dear and turn on the TV
and hand me the remote?"
     With a confused look, Tofu did as he was asked and sat back down
with a scowl.  Something WAS going on.
     Calmly, Nabiki pushed the VCR PLAY button and smiled as the movie
came up on the TV.

     Out in the storage shed, the fathers were huddling around a
special box they had received in the mail only a few days before.
     "This little device is going to prove to be a most worthwhile
investment."  Soun opened the box and handed Genma a set of
headphones.
     "Yes indeed.  Worth every yen we paid for it."  Both men placed
the headphones on their heads while Soun fiddled with the tuner. 
"Poor Jeffrey had no idea what we wanted when we asked him to send us
that Electronics Catalog."
     "Hush, I think I'm getting something."  Both men concentrated
intently on what was coming through from the bug they had planted in
Akane's room.
     Their scowls of concentration slowly dissolved into raised
eyebrows as the sounds of a Japanese female suddenly came through loud
and clear.  "Oh!  Oh!  Harder!  Oh, ride me!  Harder!  I'm going...! 
I'm going....!"  Followed by a long orgasmic groan.
     At that point, Soun's eyes went wide and he snatched the
headphones off of Genma's head before removing his own.
     "What did you do that for?"  Genma's look betrayed his...
excitement as he made an abortive grab at the headphones.  "I want to
hear how it comes out."
     "You already know how it comes out, old friend.  I think we
should keep in mind those are our children."  Soun's chastisement was
punctuated by his jamming the headphones back into the box and
slamming shut the lid.  Genma just grabbed his head and groaned.

     Inside, Nabiki was leaning forward on her fist and watching the
Japanese porno movie through half-closed eyes.  "Well, she's not much
in the performance department but I'll give her credit; she's loud
enough."
     Kasumi kept casting nervous glances over her shoulder at the
screen between long scowls at her tea cup on the table in front of
her.  "Honestly, I don't know why anyone would want to watch this
stuff."  She glanced at her husband who's head was tilted over 90
degrees, his face a mixture of confusion and pain as he watched the
TV.
     "If she continues to do that for very long, she's liable to
dislocate her second and third lumbar - possibly inflaming her entire
pelvic region."  He adjusted his glasses and winced.
     "Her pelvic region already looks pretty inflamed," Nabiki dead-panned.
     "Nabiki, I agreed to move the bugging device to the TV," Kasumi
chided with an embarrassed glance at the TV.  "But I think the movie
was a bit much."
     "Actually, the movie is not much at all."  Nabiki sighed.  "I
picked it out because the 'actress'..."  Nabiki rolled her eyes at the
inappropriate term.  "... sounded so much like Akane."
     Kasumi scowled like she was still unhappy with their playing the
movie for the benefit of a cheap trick.  "Tofu, would you please check
on Daddy.  If he's done in the shed, we can turn this disgusting thing
off."
     "Oh, I don't know."  Nabiki almost yawned.  "I understand there's
always a big orgy scene in these things and you wouldn't want to miss
--"
     "--Nabiki" Kasumi gasped and hunched over a little further - her
embarrassment obvious.
     "Well, it's not due back at the video store till Sunday.  If you
want to borrow it --"
     "--NABIKI!"
     "Okay," Nabiki chuckled and nodded to Tofu as he got up to check
on the fathers.  It was still fun teasing Kasumi - in spite of what
she knew of her sister's 'activities'.  Kasumi insisted on maintaining
a proper front for the neighbors - certain that they had no idea what
went on inside the walls of their compound.  
     Nabiki paused with the remote in her hand as she watched her
sister's reaction.  She could almost see Kasumi sweating - nervous
that someone would overhear what was playing on their TV and think her
less a model housewife.  With a snort, Nabiki clicked off the TV and
VCR.
     Moments later, Tofu returned with the news that the fathers were
carrying a ladder towards the back of the building.  Nabiki yawned and
asked Kasumi which one of them would intercept the fathers this time. 
They resorted to a quick janken - a Japanese version of 'Rock,
Scissors, Paper'.  As usual, Nabiki lost.
     "Damn!  Best two out of three?"
     "No way.  You lost."
     Nabiki got to her feet grumbling about how she *never* wins at
janken.  Kasumi just chuckled into her tea.  She'd been beating Nabiki
at that game for almost 20 years.  Besides, it served Nabiki right for
making her sit through that disgusting movie.  Still, Sunday *was* a
long way off.

     Akane searched just about everywhere she could think of to find
Ranma.  She was no longer angry, that having been lost soon after he
had given her the slip.  She was, however, concerned - concerned and a
little embarrassed at her reaction to her future husband's name.  She
had not been fair, reasonable, OR rational about any of it.  Because
of that, she'd resorted to her old ways, destroying what should have
been a wonderful moment for both of them.  Akane blushed when she
considered how ridiculous she must have sounded trying to deny her
future husband's name.  However, there was more at work here than a
simple disagreement over a name and *that* bothered Akane more than
anything else.
     She looked in all Ranma's usual hiding places but came up empty. 
Outside Ucchan's, Akane paused to think.  There was only one place she
hadn't checked.  It was the one place she ran away to when she found
out Dr. Tofu loved her sister instead of her.  With a determined look,
Akane cut through a nearby alley and headed for the walk near the
river.
     At first, she didn't see Ranma and thought she might have made
another mistake.  However, a flash of red down by the water near the
bridge confirmed she'd guessed right.
     "Ranma?" she softly called as she approached.  She wasn't
entirely sure how he'd react to her presence.  She couldn't say she'd
blame him after what she did to him.  "Ranma?"
     "If you're going to hit me, just do it and get it over with." 
His voice sounded sad and remorseful.
     "I'm not going to hit you, Ranma."  Akane shoved her hands into
her pockets and kicked idly at a small rock.
     "You could have fooled me."
     "I was just..."  Akane paused, her expression darkening.  With a
sudden flap of her arms, she expressed her exasperation with the whole
situation.  "Why are we always doing this?"
     "Huh?"
     "Acting like children, arguing and fighting, then one of us has
to find the other to apologize.  It's not normal, Ranma."  Akane
collapsed onto the grass, her back to Ranma's.  She might be disgusted
with him... and her, but just the feeling of his back against hers
gave her comfort beyond words.
     "I donno, Akane.  Maybe we're not right for each other."
     Akane quickly turned towards her fiance.  "Don't say that!"
     "Why?"
     "Because."
     "Because why?"
     "Just because.  That's all."  Akane turned to face away from
Ranma and scowled at her drawn up legs.
     They sat in an uneasy silence as a couple of river barges chugged
past.  A pair of little boys ran down to the river's edge and waved at
the barges, delighted when the operators waved back.
     "Akane?"  Ranma's voice sounded far away.  "Why did you really
object to my name?"
     Akane hung her head.  "I always envisioned my mother talking to
me before I got married and telling me all the secrets of being a good
wife."  Akane sniffed once and stared at the water flowing past them. 
"I guess I didn't realize how much I really missed her until Mrs.
Suzuki said 'Akane Saotome'."
     "I'm sorry, Akane."
     "It's alright.  I just felt like I was losing something important
- my name.  It's who I am, Ranma.  It's all my mother left me with.  I
had just never thought about having to give it up."
     Akane twisted around and supported her self on a hand as she
leaned towards her fiance.  She could see he'd already turned his head
and was looking intently at her.  "I really do love you, Ranma."
     A small smile fluttered across his face as he looked into her
deep hazel eyes.  Akane could see how much he loved her.
     "All my life, all I ever really had that I could call my own was
my name.  It's all I have to offer you.  When you said didn't want it,
I... I felt like you were rejecting me."  Ranma lowered his eyes and
grimaced.  "I should have known better."
     Akane reached over with her free hand and gently brushed some
hair across his forehead.  She smiled at the reminder of how handsome
he'd grown.  "When we get married, I'll gladly accept your name."
     "Really?"
     "Really."  Akane smiled, her eyes glistening in the late
afternoon sunlight.  "I just want to use 'Tendo' in the dojo.  That's
all."
     "Well... I guess so.  After all, it IS your dojo."
     "No."  Akane ran a finger down his cheek.  "It's OUR dojo and
you're going to be a big success - ya jerk."
     Ranma blushed and looked at the ground.  "WE will be a big
success - ya tomboy."
     Only the sounds of the river meandering past disturbed the
silence as they grinned at each other.
     "Ranma, take me home."  Akane's soft request reminded him of how
kawaii she could be when she really wanted to.
     He quickly got to his feet and helped Akane to hers.  They paused
for a moment before he threw caution to the wind and pulled her into a
warm embrace.  They remained that way for several seconds until a
voice interrupted their tranquility.
     "That's enough, you two."
     Akane and Ranma quickly turned to see a local policeman standing
up on the sidewalk, his hands on his hips.  "You both are old enough
to know better than such public displays."
     "But officer, we're getting married," Akane pleaded with a grin.
     The policeman pushed his hat back on his head.  "You don't say. 
Well, I suppose in that case you're entitled.  Just keep it discrete." 
He chuckled and flashed a friendly grin.  "Now, get along both of
you."  He waved them towards the bridge with is nightstick.
     Ranma and Akane bowed their way past the policeman, all three
sporting embarrassed grins.  Ranma and Akane would get their quiet
walk home.  The police officer would have a juicy story to tell around
the koban that evening.


     Up on the roof, Genma was lowering his friend over the edge
towards Akane's window.  They were still laboring under the delusion
that the kids were in Akane's room doing something... noisy.  Soun had
insisted that *he* be the one to take a look because it was *his*
daughter they had obviously been listening to on the bugging device.
     "Just a little lower," Soun offered softly.
     "Tendo, you could stand to lose a few pounds."  Genma struggled
with his taller companion's legs.  He hated doing any physical labor. 
Dangling his friend over the edge of a roof was decidedly physical
labor.
     "Almost there," Soun whispered.
     "Mr. Saotome?"  Nabiki's voice caused Genma to jerk and spin
around - his grip on Soun forgotten in his surprise.  He winced at the
sound of his friend bouncing off the engawa roof and impacting the
ground.  A tentative glance over his shoulder confirmed that his
friend was now spread eagle on the ground, Ami-chan licking the
unconscious man's face.
     Nabiki, standing at the top of the ladder so that only her head
and shoulders were visible, caught Ranma's father in a serious scowl. 
"And just what are you up to?"
     "Ah... well," Genma sputtered as he quickly looked around for
some explanation.  "We... were just examining the roof to see if it
needed replacing.  After all, since we were going to paint the
building, we thought it best to see about the roof as well."
     Genma silently congratulated himself at such a clever story. 
Unfortunately, Nabiki was just a little quicker.  "Mr. Saotome, the
dojo roof is over there," she said pointing to the adjacent building.
     "Eh?  Well, what do you know.  All these roofs look alike.  Heh-heh."  
     "Yes, I can see how you would mistake the roof of our house for
that of the dojo."  Nabiki's sarcasm was totally lost on the older
Saotome as she slowly started back down the ladder.  Genma took only
one more glance at the prostrate form of his friend before quickly
following.
     With the help of Tofu, the others were able to get Soun Tendo
back into his home and laid him out on the floor.  Kasumi placed a
cold wash rag on his head while Tofu did a quick examination.
     "Is he going to be alright?"  Kasumi sounded concerned.  She
wasn't prepared for her father's acrobatics... or its results.
     "He has a contusion of the rear pelvic region with possible
trauma to the coccyx along with a minor swelling of the upper
occipital region."  Tofu adjusted his glasses as silence descended
over the others.  Nabiki and Kasumi slowly looked at each other before
suddenly grabbing the young doctor and hauling him into the kitchen.
     "Tofu dear, I only speak Japanese and English," Nabiki growled
with crossed arms and a tapping foot.  "I don't speak medical
gibberish!"
     "Oh, well, in layman's terms, he has a bump on the head and a
bruise on his.... boom-boom."
     "That's it?" Kasumi gasped.  "No broken bones?  No internal
injuries?"
     "Sorry."  Tofu rubbed the back of his head like he was
embarrassed to have found only minor injuries on the family patriarch. 
"He *is* a martial artist."
     The two Tendo sisters exchanged annoyed looks before leading the
doctor back into the main room where Genma and Soun were conducting a
show worthy of a kabuki play.
     "I feel the darkness descending around me," Soun moaned as he
crossed his eyes and rolled his head slightly.  "Saotome, old friend. 
Are you there?"
     "Yes, Tendo, my dearest friend.  I'm here."  Genma knelt by
Soun's side and held his hand.  You could almost make out a tear in
his eye.
     "Before I go to join my dear, departed wife, I wish only one
thing."
     Nabiki sarcastically asked the obvious with folded arms and a
skeptical expression.  "Yeah, and what would that be?"
     "I... I wish only to see my youngest daughter married."  Soun
grabbed at Genma's arm like it was the last act of a dying man. 
"Saotome, old friend, please fetch the priest while my lovely
daughters go up and get our children."  Soun even added a couple of
coughs to indicate his dying breath.  "I'm... certain I can hold out
until they arrive.  I could die happy if only I could see them
married."
     Nabiki cast a quick look at Tofu's incredulous expression to
confirm that her father was in no danger of expiring on the floor - or
anywhere else for that matter.  She also caught Ami-chan's charge
across the yard outside that meant someone was coming home.
     "Why don't we just move you into your room and let you rest
awhile."  Nabiki smiled at her father like she was terribly concerned.
     "No!  I mean, no..."  Soun coughed again after regaining his
composure.  "Let me remain here until the priest arrives."
     "But father," Kasumi placed another cold wash rag on his
forehead.  "We moved mother's shrine into your room.  Wouldn't you
rather die close to her shrine so your spirits could be together?"
     "Well..."
     "And wouldn't you rather die in your own bed?"  Nabiki leaned
over her father.  Her pouty look of concern evident.
     "Well..."
     "Yes, old friend.  You don't want to expire in front of your
family."  Genma's suggestion was greeted by a hiss and a scowl from
Soun.  "Er... I mean..."
     "Let's move him to his room."  Tofu, finally figuring out what
was up, added his medical authority to the discussion.  After all, in
Japan, NO ONE argues with the doctor.
     With a sick grimace, Soun reluctantly agreed.  As the others
moved him slowly into his room, he actually looked sick - more from
the missed opportunity than his injuries.
     Nabiki quickly left the 'death watch' party and intercepted Ranma
and Akane at the door as they returned home.  They had resolved their
differences and were happily coming home from getting ice cream. 
Nabiki put a finger to her lips to warn them to be quiet and follow
her upstairs.  The two young people looked at each other, shrugged
their shoulders, and followed Nabiki as instructed.
     Up in Akane's room, Ranma and Akane sat uneasily on the bed. 
Nabiki, after stopping off in her room for a package, came in and
quietly closed the door.
     Akane was the first to ask the obvious.  "Why are we being
quiet?"
     "Your father fell off the roof today and is resting downstairs. 
Tofu-sensei said he needed complete rest."  Nabiki pulled up her
sister's chair and straddled it.
     "Is he alright?"
     "He has a bump on his head and a bruise on his... posterior." 
Nabiki's raised eyebrow assured Akane that her father was going to
live.  "Why I called you together like this is I've got something for
both of you."
     Nabiki dug through her package and produced three large
envelopes.  She handed one to Ranma and another to Akane.  With a
satisfied grunt, she placed the last on the desk next to her.
     "I want you to both open your envelopes after I leave.  If you
accept my proposition, you will bring me your signature stamps in my
room tonight."  With that, Nabiki smiled at them both, got up and left
the room with the third envelope under her arm.

     Outside, Ami-chan raced across the yard barking at another
intruder.  It was a familiar figure who wasn't too happy about being
discovered.  
     The shadowy figure with long tresses scrambled for cover, cursing
in Chinese the fact she'd been discovered by a common dog.  As she
rounded the dojo looking for an escape from the yapping dog, she
collided with another body - one dressed in black.
     "Watch where you're going!" Ukyou yelled.  "And get off me, you
Chinese bimbo!"
     "What spatula girl doing behind husband's home?" Shampoo growled
as she quickly disengaged herself from the okonomyaki chef.
     "That's none of your business!"  Ukyou scrambled to her feet. 
"And what do you mean by 'husband'?  He's MY fiance."
     "Too late," Shampoo smugly announced while brushing off her
pants.  "Ranma already belong Shampoo."
     "In your dreams, sweetie," Kodachi chuckled from the wall above
them.  "Ranma only has eyes for me.  He's so lucky."
     "Only if he finds some way to get away from your incessant
cackling."
     "Now wait just a minute, you short order cook."
     "Ranma belong to Shampoo."
     "Put a sock in it!"
     "I sock it!"
     "Back off!"
     "Ranchan wouldn't touch either of you losers!"
     "WHAT?"
     The commotion that followed caused even Ami-chan to reconsider
her aggressive barking.  Frustrated that no one was listening to her
any longer, she simply marked her territory and wandered off.

     Nabiki was just coming down the stairs when the sounds of a
battle royal out back caught her attention.  Rolling her eyes and
shaking her head, she put her shoes on and slowly walked to the dojo.
     As she rounded the corner of the dojo, the sight of three females
in obvious confrontation caused her to fold her arms and lean against
the corner of the building.
     As if the combatants could feel Nabiki's presence, they suddenly
halted their fight and turned towards newcomer.  They exchanged
nervous glances as it was obvious the last thing any of them wanted
was to get caught by Nabiki.
     "And just what are you three doing here?"  Nabiki's voice sounded
peeved - which was a pretty accurate assessment of how she felt.
     The three young ladies exchanged more quick glances before
Kodachi answered.  "A Kuno never needs a reason to be anywhere."
     "Fine.  Then never need a reason to be somewhere else."
     Kodachi paused only a moment to try and fit what Nabiki had said
into some logical form.  Failing that, she shrugged her shoulders and
bounded over the wall with a characteristic high-pitched laugh that
caused everyone to react like someone had just drawn fingernails
across a blackboard.
     "That woman has a most annoying laugh," Ukyou grimaced at the
departing Kuno.
     "Agreed.  In China we cut out annoying laugh."
     "I'll pay for the ticket."
     Nabiki, however, was unamused.  "Don't the two of you have
somewhere to go?"
     "Shampoo go... shop for new dress."
     "Good," Ukyou replied with a disgusted look.  "Try to get
something that doesn't make you look like a bimbo."
     "Look who talking.  Husband wear better girl clothes than spatula
girl."
     "What's wrong with my clothes?" Ukyou snarled.
     "If you have to ask, Ranma lucky be married Shampoo."
     "LOOK YOU...!"
     Nabiki finally lost her patience.  "HIT THE ROAD, BOTH OF YOU!"
     Shampoo and Ukyou glared at each other as they slipped over the
back wall of the Tendo compound.  Nabiki shook her head and started
back to the house.  As she went, she could still hear the two other
fiancees arguing.
     "Spatula girl look like boy."
     "At least I don't have a meter on my belt!"
     "What that mean?"
     "Ask that old hag you hang out with."
     Nabiki made her way around to the front door, shaking her head
and thinking: <No wonder Akane was going nuts.  Those three could
drive Sister Angelica to drink.>

     Nabiki had just reached the front door when a sound attracted her
attention to the side of the house.  It sounded like someone was
trying to climb up the drain pipe.  As she peeked around the corner,
sure enough, there was Genma Saotome slowly working his way up the
flimsy metal pipe that ran from the roof's guttering to the ground -
obviously intent on reaching Akane's illuminated window.  Nabiki
grimaced, shook her head and went back inside.  She'd already taken
steps to assure the drain pipe was a dead end.
     As she entered the main room, Kasumi was back in her original
position, sipping her tea.
     "How's Daddy?"  Nabiki sat back down across from her older sister
and poured herself more tea.
     "Acting like a baby," Kasumi sighed.  "As usual."
     "Mr. Saotome is about halfway up the drain pipe by now."
     "The one you took the screws out of?"
     "Yup."  Nabiki cradled the warm tea cup in the palm of her hand
and gently blew across the hot surface of the liquid it contained. 
"He should be just about to the top by now."
     Kasumi shook her head and smiled.  "They're not very imaginative,
are they?"
     "Nope."

     Outside, Genma was just reaching the roof when he felt the drain
pipe start to pull away from the side of the building.  In a panic, he
grabbed for the clay shingles at the edge of the roof.  All he
accomplished was to pull off a loose shingle as the pipe tilted away
from the building.
     "Oh no," he muttered when he saw where the pipe was heading.  A
moment later, there was a loud crash as the pipe clattered to the
ground.  There was also a large splash in the koi pond as Genma
Saotome managed to miss the entire back yard, hitting instead the tiny
pond Soun Tendo was so proud of.

     "Think he'll give up?"  Kasumi calmly took a sweet from the
serving plate and offered the rest to her sister.
     "Not yet.  He can be annoyingly stubborn sometimes."  Nabiki
politely declined her sister's offer and leaned forward to rest her
elbow on the table and watch the open engawa.  Her wait was short.
     A large panda, still dripping wet and smelling like a wet dog,
hopped onto the engawa and flashed a sign. [You can't stop me.]
     Kasumi and Nabiki traded bored looks.
     [I can overcome all your traps,] his next sign read.
     "Perhaps, but can you overcome your own traps?"  Nabiki swirled
the tea in her cup and grinned slyly.
     [What are you talking about...] The panda's eyes went wide and he
looked down at his feet.  Before he could move, Kasumi pulled a
lanyard.
     [Oh no.  Not again.]
     "Bai-bai, Mr. Saotome," Kasumi chirped as the latches under the
section of engawa porch Genma-panda was standing on snapped open.
     It had been several years since the trap had been used.  In that
time, the outer latches had rusted in place; the springs would not
release.  However, the inner latches worked just fine.  Instead of
launching the pudgy panda through the roof of the engawa, it
catapulted him across the yard and over the wall of the compound.  The
two Tendo sisters listened as his ample body crashed through Mrs.
Suzuki's fence.

     <I must remember to disarm my traps in the future,> Genma thought
as he untangled himself from the debris that was once Mrs. Suzuki's
wood fence.  Just as he was standing up, he heard a low growl coming
from under the stairs.
     <Uh-oh.> The panda slowly started backing towards the street.
[Nice doggie,] his sign read.  It didn't work.  Baby couldn't read.
     In a flurry of snarling and snapping jaws, Genma-panda set a new
record in getting to and climbing over the Tendo compound wall.  Baby
was soon the only occupant of the street, her mouth full of a great
whopping hunk of panda fur.

     Up in Akane's room, the young couple barely heard the commotion
caused by Baby and the panda.  They were busy reading the letters
Nabiki had placed in their envelopes.

[    Stinky:
[    I'm not much at giving advice.  I usually leave that job to
[Kasumi as she's so good at it.  I can't tell you much about marriage
[that you don't already know.  You'll have to learn to cook and clean
[and do all sorts of domestic chores.  I don't know why.  It's just
[the way things are.  I figure it will be a learning experience for
[the both of you.  You'll learn domestic things and he'll learn how to
[smile while you do.  As far as the sex business is concerned, I
[figure with Kasumi and Tofu around, you'll figure it out pretty
[quick.  Just don't be too obvious.  I'm not sure Daddy can take all
[the 'activity' around the house.  Go to a 'love hotel' once in
[awhile.  That's what Jeffrey and I do when we want to have a quiet
[night together.  Just make sure you don't get pregnant until you want
[to.  Take it from someone who knows.  There's more to children than
[we're told.
[    A famous American president once said: 'Trust but verify'.  I
[think that's just about the best advice I could give to you.  Trust
[your husband, but keep tabs on him.  It's not because he might betray
[you but because we're talking about Ranma here.  He's a pretty good
[guy, all things considered, and I believe he will make you happy. 
[Well, at least, he'll make your life interesting.  Anyway, you could
[have done worse.  Work hard, love your husband, and always remember
[that Jeffrey and I love you very much.  
[    
[    Your Oneechan,
[    Nabiki

     Akane sniffed and smiled as she re-read the letter.  It wasn't
very long but said about as much as Nabiki ever did to her.  It also
told her a lot about her sister.  
     People had always thought Nabiki cared only for herself - that
she was selfish and self-centered.  Akane knew better.  Nabiki may
have had a bad reputation outside the home but Akane always knew that
her sister loved her and would do whatever was necessary to protect
her from harm.  Silently, Akane closed her eyes and thanked her mother
for such a sibling.

     Ranma read his letter and began to sweat.

[    Ranma:
[    As I researched your family background, I was impressed with the
[nobility of your ancestors.  I am certain that you are most qualified
[to carry on that tradition with my sister.
[    If it means anything to you, Jeffrey and I have always thought of
[you as a little brother - a little strange at times, but a brother
[nevertheless.  I hold you in the highest regard because Akane loves
[you.  Only someone special could manage that.  I'm certain,
[therefore, you will take good care of my sister.
[
[    However, in case you should forget, know this: Hell Hath No Fury.
[
[    Your loving sister-in-law,
[    Nabiki Tendo-Lawrence

     Ranma forced a smile and swallowed hard again as he caught his
fiancee looking at him.
     "That was a really nice letter from Nabiki," Akane cooed.  "I
really feel closer to her now."
     "Yeah, nice."  Ranma re-read his letter and swallowed hard.  He
knew what Nabiki was capable of.  <But this is about as close as I
want to get right now.>
     Akane pulled out another piece of paper from her envelope and
read it aloud.

     "My proposition is simple.  If you both still want to get
married, leave your signature stamps in my room tonight and meet me
tomorrow morning at the Nerima City Annex - the one that's about two
blocks from Furinkan High School - at 10 o'clock.  Leave separately
and don't travel together.  Beware of being followed and don't tell
anyone where you are going - not even Daddy.  I'll have everything
you'll need.  Don't dress up or do anything to give away where you are
going.  Above all else, DON'T BE LATE.  Good luck.  I love you both. -
Nabiki"

     Both sat in silence as they digested Nabiki's instructions and
warnings.  It was clear that their long road to matrimony was about to
come to a conclusion.  They exchanged nervous glances and fidgeted
slightly - suddenly aware of who's room they were in and where they
were sitting.
     Ranma suddenly bolted for the door.  "I better get my signature
stamp."  He paused, his hand on the door knob, and looked back at his
fiance.  "If *you* still want to."
     Akane blushed and licked her lips.  "Hai" Her voice was barely a
whisper.
     Ranma forced a nervous smile and turned the door knob to leave.
     "Ranma?"
     He paused before turning slowly towards Akane.
     "I... I..."  Akane suddenly closed the distance between them and
buried herself in his startled arms.  "I don't want to be alone
tonight."
     "Akane," Ranma gasped as he quickly looked around to see if
anyone could see them.  "If it's about the other night --"
     "-- That's not what I mean, Ranma."  Akane loosened her grip on
him enough to look up into his eyes.  "I just want to know you're
close by.  We don't have to... you know."
     Slightly relieved, Ranma swallowed hard and nodded.  "Pop will
know what we're up to for sure."
     "That's okay.  Let him think what he wants."  Akane reached up
and caressed Ranma's cheek.  "I *want* you to stay.  Please?"
     Ranma tried to think of other excuses to escape but failed when
he looked deeply into Akane's eyes.  "I still need to get my signature
stamp out of my backpack."
     "Okay."  Akane reluctantly released her fiance.  "You better take
mine too."  She opened the top drawer of her desk and pulled out a
polished wooden case.  Opening it, she checked the ornately carved
ivory stamp.  On its face was everything anyone ever needed to know
about Akane.  It was her name, her family heritage, and even where she
stood in Japanese hierarchy.  It was the single most important item
she owned.  With a look of anticipation, she reluctantly held the box
out to Ranma.  It was an act of supreme trust.
     With a nervous nod, Ranma accepted the box and turned to leave.
     "Please hurry back," she whispered.
     Ranma smiled and winked once, then was gone.
     Akane slowly crawled onto her bed, pulled her legs up and hugged
them for support until Ranma returned.  Tomorrow at this time, she
would no longer be a single woman.  Tomorrow her life would be
inexorably changed.

     Nabiki crept through the darkened Tendo house.  It was after
midnight and everyone else had long since gone to bed.  At the bottom
of the stairs, Nabiki paused and listened.  All was quiet.
     Carefully, she pulled the phone to the front door, uncoiling its
long cord as she slipped out onto the front step.  Sitting down and
leaning against the closed door, she quietly dialed.
     "Hello?" came a familiar voice.
     "Jeffrey?" Nabiki gasped, unleashing a whole room-full of
emotions as she squeezed the ancient handset tighter.
     "Nabs, how are things?"
     "Fine - now."
     "Anything wrong?"
     "No.  I just wanted to hear your voice again."
     "It's good to hear your voice too, sweetheart."
     "Everything okay there?"
     "Just fine."
     "How's So-chan?"
     "She's okay too.  They moved her up to a real gymnastics class
with her friends last week.  She really likes it."
     "Jeffrey, we didn't discuss this."
     "I know.  But her friends had been promoted and the school
especially asked for her as well.  I couldn't turn her down.  She
really wanted to do this."
     "You're too soft, Jeffrey."
     "Soft because you're not here.  You know I need your guidance."
     Nabiki stifled a tiny chuckle with her hand.  It was just like
Jeffrey to smooth-talk her.  She liked that.  "I miss you too."
     "This old bed is mighty lonely."
     "The bed here is pretty lonely too.  I never realized how
different it is to sleep alone."
     "I can be there in half a day."
     "No."  Nabiki shook her head.  "Sodoshi's in school now.  That's
more important.  Besides, I'll be home soon."
     "You about to resolve Akane's problem?"
     "Tomorrow - if all goes well."
     "Then it's the elders turn."
     "That's next week.  There'll be a full moon then."
     There was an awkward silence.  Nabiki sniffed slightly.  Jeffrey
took that opportunity to slip in the words she'd hoped he'd say.
     "I love you Nabiki.  And I miss you."
     Nabiki sagged against the door.  "I miss you too."  She bit her
lip trying not to cry.  Until now she didn't fully appreciate how much
Jeffrey had become a part of her life - an indispensable part.  He was
her anchorage - her safe port where the storms of life could rage
around her and she'd still be safe in the arms of one she knew would
protect her and always love her, no matter what.  Her body ached in
its desire to be held in his arms again.  She hugged herself and
shuddered. 
     "Is there anything I can do from here?"  His voice sounded calm
and in control.  Just hearing it gave Nabiki more strength.
     She ran a hand through her hair and sighed.  "No, I think we've
got just about everything wrapped up.  All that's left to do now is
get everyone together."
     Nabiki heard Jeff snort.  "And just how do you intend to pull
*that* off?"
     "It won't be easy.  At least I have a plan."
     "Good.  You better get some sleep.  You sound tired."
     "I know," Nabiki whispered.  Hearing him suggest it suddenly made
her feel tired.
     "Call me when it's all over.  Okay?"
     "I will.  Keep that spot on the bed warm.  You know how I hate
cold sheets."
     "Who said we'll need sheets?"
     Nabiki chuckled broadly.  He was also the wild, adventurous one.
She especially liked that.  "I love you."
     "Be careful, Nabs.  Between you and So-chan... well, you're all I
really care for in the world."
     "More than your money?"
     "Much more."  His voice easily convinced Nabiki of his sincerity. 
She liked the feeling that gave her.
     "Good bye, Jeffrey."
     "Good luck, Nabs.  So-chan and I will be waiting at the airport
when you arrive."
     Quietly, Nabiki hung up the phone.  She thought hearing Jeff's
voice would help her get through the rest of the week.  Like a drug
addict, she wanted just one more dose, just one more hug, just a few
moments in Jeffrey's arms again.  She felt so lonely.  Nabiki
shuddered as she hugged the phone like it was a lifeline to home.
     Home.  Funny how the word 'home' had become associated with some
place on a small island far away.  It had always meant the building
she was currently leaning against.  Nabiki thought it strange how she
was almost a stranger here and how uncomfortable she felt having to
resort to all the old ways - the bowing, the careful use of terms so
as not to offend one of a different social status from her own, and
the different pace of life in general.  It had all become so foreign
to her.
     Nabiki adjusted her shorts and sighed openly as her eyes wandered
over the old gate and walls that surrounded her former home.  Was it
all that long ago since she used to walk through that gate on her way
to school or to do a little shopping on her own?
     On her own.  Now *that* concept really sent a chill up her spine. 
Before Jeffrey, she'd always considered herself a loner.  She never
needed the company or support of anyone.  Certainly, she had her
'associates', her business partners, but they were little more than
unpaid employees who followed Nabiki in remora-like fashion.  They
were never the kind of close friends that a girl could confide in or
do things with.  She had always had the same feelings girls her age
were famous for.  She just learned how to hide them better.
     Jeffrey changed all that.  His quiet humor and sweet sincerity
broke through her barriers and captured a prize only she knew she had
- her heart.

     Nabiki's reverie was interrupted by the soft click of the door
latch being opened from the inside.  Nabiki already knew who it was.
     "Couldn't sleep, Kasumi?" she softly asked, her eyes still fixed
on the old gate.
     "How...?" Kasumi's soft voice answered with the obvious question.
     Nabiki chuckled and turned her head to look at her older sister.
"Who else would be up this time of night?"
     Kasumi covered her giggle with a hand and sat down next to her
sister - making sure to tuck her long gown carefully under her.
     "What a beautiful night."  Kasumi tilted her head to gaze at the
few stars that could make themselves known through the haze of city
lights.  "Are things alright at your home?"
     Nabiki snorted as she set the phone on the step next to her.  Not
much escaped her sister's notice.  Sitting on the front steps with a
phone in her lap so late at night could only mean a phone call to
Hawaii.
     "Yes, Jeffrey and So-chan are both alright."
     Kasumi's star gazing was accompanied by a satisfied smile and nod
of acknowledgment.  Something else caught Nabiki's attention -
something that caused her to smile slyly at her sister.
     "For as long as I can remember, you've always done that."
     "Huh?"  Kasumi looked suddenly at her little sister.
     "Your toes."  Nabiki pointed at Kasumi's feet.  "You've always
played with your toes like that."
     Kasumi looked down at her feet like she was seeing them for the
first time.  Instinctively, she tried to tuck them under the hem of
her gown.  She always thought she had ugly feet.  Having Nabiki call
attention to them only made her more self-conscious.
     "One of the earliest memories I have about you is the way you
used to wiggle your toes so that they looked like they were
wrestling."  Nabiki giggled broadly as the image of a young Kasumi
sitting on their parents' bed and letting her toes wiggle against each
other replayed itself in her mind.
     Kasumi blushed and reached down to adjust her hem so it covered
her feet better.  "I never thought anyone noticed."
     "At first, I was amused watching you when you didn't think anyone
was looking.  It was only later that I figured out you were doing it
because of nervous energy."
     Kasumi paused and looked directly into Nabiki's eyes; like she
was trying to decide if she should tell her sister something or not. 
With a forced smile, Kasumi hung her head.
     "The truth is..."  She paused and stroked her hair like she was
embarrassed.  "When you were born, I was too young to think much about
what another child in the family meant to me."  Kasumi glanced at
Nabiki to see her hanging onto every word.  "I just thought of you as
another playmate - someone to share things with.  But when Akane was
born..."  Kasumi paused again, this time closing her eyes and fighting
an unpleasant memory.
     Nabiki reached over, put her arm around her sister's shoulders
and pulled her gently.  Kasumi's head came to rest on her sister's
shoulder.  Instinctively, her arm found Nabiki's slim waist.
     "Akane was different."  Kasumi sniffed and shuddered slightly. 
"Mother spent so much time with her that I felt neglected.  I thought 
I needed to compete for mother's attention.  So I tried hard to do all
the things mother did - the cooking and the cleaning but mother
*still* spent all her time with Akane."
     "Akane was just a baby.  Babies require lots of attention."
     Kasumi sniffed again and hugged Nabiki tighter.  "I know that
now.  It's just... I was so jealous of her. *I* wanted the attention."
     "You were the oldest.  You were supposed to be the 'grown up'
one."
     "I know but I was only a child myself.  I saw all the time mother
spent with her new baby and thought how I was being forgotten."
     Nabiki could feel the dampness of her sister's tears on her 
t-shirt.  It was obvious this was something she'd carried with her for
a long time.  She hugged Kasumi and gently stroked her sister's bangs. 
"You were always mother's favorite.  Why do you think she continued to
talk to you after... you know."
     "I guess I'm just facing up to the inevitable."  Kasumi suddenly
pulled away from Nabiki and looked at her with a startled expression. 
"You know there can only be one 'lady of the house'.  As soon as Akane
is married, she becomes the heir.  The house will be hers."
     "Now you're being ridiculous, Kasumi.  Akane has no intention of
throwing you out or even taking over as head of the house."
     "I wish I could be as sure as you are."  Kasumi sighed and hugged
herself like she had just experienced a sudden chill.  "But you know
tradition.  Father has to abide by that tradition.  He arranged for
Ranma to marry Akane to carry on the family martial arts.  That makes
Akane the heir."
     Nabiki scowled at her sister as she tried to piece together
everything her sister had said.  "I'm sure that's not going to
happen."
     "How?"
     Nabiki opened her mouth but nothing came out.  Kasumi was right,
of course.  Akane was going to become the 'lady of the house'.  And
there could NOT be two in one house without trouble.  Nabiki glared at
the ground.  This was something she had missed in her meticulous
planning.
     "I'll... fix it somehow," Nabiki said softly.
     "It doesn't matter," Kasumi sighed as she stood up.  "Tofu and I
have been talking.  Perhaps it would be best if we just moved out."
     "No!"  Nabiki's sudden denial caused Kasumi to flinch. "I said
I'll work it out."
     Kasumi, however, exhibited all the airs of one who knew exactly
where she was going.  "Tofu thinks he can have the second floor of his
clinic remodeled.  We can build a home there."
     "Kasumi..."
     "It's for the best."  Kasumi tried to smile as she opened the
door.  It wasn't easy smiling considering she was giving up the only
home she'd ever known.
     "I can't... I won't accept that."
     "Why?  You moved away."
     "That's different."
     "How?"
     Nabiki looked up at her sister, her eyes wide with anxiety. 
"This has always been *your* home.  You... you were always 'mother'
here."
     "And I'll be 'mother' somewhere else."  Kasumi smiled her
confident best.  "It's the way of things, Nabiki.  Nothing stays the
same."
     As Kasumi entered the house, Nabiki seemed to sag into the steps. 
This was something totally unexpected - an unintended consequence of
her actions.  Slowly, she shook her head and wished she hadn't gotten
involved in any of this.  Of course, deep down she couldn't have done
that.  She was obligated to Akane.  
     Cursing quietly, she slapped the stone stair in frustration.  She
had done it again.  She had been so clever in her planning she had
outsmarted herself.  Solving Akane's problem only caused a worse
problem for Kasumi.  In doing so, she'd hurt the one who'd sacrificed
everything for her.  Now she was causing that person to be thrown out
of her own home.  
     Frustration, irritation, and a lack of sleep combined in the
middle Tendo daughter.  It was just all too much.  Slowly, Nabiki
lowered her head into her arms and began to cry.

*****

     Breakfast the next morning was an unusually subdued affair. 
Ranma and Akane barely said two words to each other.  Nabiki looked
tired, like she'd been up all night.  Kasumi, however, happily hummed
to herself as she shuttled food from the kitchen to the hungry family
around the table.  Soun and Genma continued to trade conspiratorial
looks.  Soun, wearing a neck brace, was trying to read his paper and
sip coffee while in a semi-reclining position.  Genma mirrored his
position due to his encounter with Baby.  Only the television broke
the silence.
     "So, Saotome, feeling better?" Soun asked absently while trying
to sip his coffee through a straw.
     "It will be some time before I can look a dog in the face."
Genma shifted his position painfully so he could shovel his breakfast
directly from his plate into his mouth.
     "That's not the part the dog was looking at," Ranma snickered. 
He was quickly joined by Akane's giggling as she recalled all the
trouble they had last night cleaning his 'wound'.  Every time they
applied warm water to the area, he changed into a panda.  The cold
alcohol caused his human form to materialize.
     "It's not funny, daughter," Soun admonished while wiping a stream
of stray coffee from his chin.  "He could have been hurt by that
vicious dog."
     "Baby?  A vicious dog?"  Akane's eyes went wide as she stifled
another giggle.  "Baby wouldn't hurt a kitten."
     "A panda however..."  Ranma couldn't help himself and he finally
broke down laughing at the thought of his father in his panda form
running for his life with Baby latched firmly onto his posterior.
     "Laugh while you can, son.  I know there's something going on."
     "There's nothing going on, Mr. Saotome."  Nabiki finally spoke. 
She turned her tired eyes towards Genma and fixed him in a gaze that
sent chills up his spine.  She looked like a woman not to be crossed
this day.
     "That's right," Kasumi chirped as she placed a cold pitcher of
juice on the table.  "There's nothing going on."
     The two fathers exchanged disbelieving looks.  There was most
certainly something going on and they were determined to get to the
bottom of it.
     Tofu-sensei's arrival interrupted further discussion of the
subject.  He had just returned from Mrs. Suzuki's to check on Baby's
vaccination records.  Relieved to see that the dog had recently had
all the required shots, he shifted his attention to the treatment of
Genma Saotome's injuries.
     "I think it best you accompany me down to the clinic, Mr.
Saotome."  Tofu adjusted his glasses and tried to look as professional
as possible.  "Dog bites are not to be ignored.  They can develop
infections or worse - festering and growing large pus-filled pockets
that can burst and --"
     "TOFU!" Kasumi's surprised admonishment was accompanied by the
sounds of everyone pushing their plates away with disgusted looks.
     "What?"  He looked around like he didn't understand why everyone
was so upset.  "It's just --"
     "-- It's just a disgusting thing to discuss at breakfast," Kasumi
finished for him.  This was still her house - for now, anyway - and
she wouldn't tolerate such talk while people were eating.
     "I didn't tell everyone what it would smell like --"
     The sounds of Nabiki, Ranma, and Akane gagging brought out
another Kasumi admonishment for the good doctor.
     "Well, anyway, we need to get you down to my clinic right away." 
Tofu helped the protesting Genma to his feet and led him towards the
door.
     "Don't worry, old friend.  I'm sure whatever treatments the
sensei has in mind will be painless... mostly."  Soun resumed reading
his newspaper while keeping an eye on Ranma and Akane.
     "For the most part, yes."  Tofu guided the whimpering Genma
towards the front door.  "Now if there WAS an infection, the smell
would be --"
     "TOFU!"
     "Okay, okay."  Tofu shook his head and scowled at the floor. 
"When I was in school, we had to take our lunches at the same tables
where we were doing dissections.  You had to be pretty careful not to
get any of the --" His explanation was interrupted by the sounds of
three people making a run for the toilet.
     Kasumi just sighed her exasperation.  "I MUST have a talk with
him about such language around people eating."  She looked at her
stunned father.  "Last week while we were having dinner, he cleaned
out a cafe by describing what gangrene looked like."
     Soun's painful grimace of acknowledgment reminded him of his own
nausea and he painfully struggled to his feet to follow the others.
     "Well, I guess that's it for breakfast."  Kasumi merrily began
clearing the table and thinking about how she could recycle the
leftovers.

**********

     An hour later, Nabiki calmly exited the compound via the old main
gate.  She sighed as her mind continued to struggle with the many
problems that remained to be resolved before she could go home. 
Needless to say, she was not in the best of moods.
     She was, however, alert enough to know when she was being
followed.  The man wouldn't have been so obvious had he chosen a
better disguise.  Unfortunately, he wore a familiar kendo outfit with
a set of false eyeglasses, a black mustache, and a reddish-brown
beard.  Nabiki rolled her eyes.  Just what she DIDN'T need this
morning - a Ridiculous Romeo riding her wake.
     She quickly ducked around the corner of a building, turned
around, crossed her arms and glared at the corner of the building. 
She didn't have long to wait.
     The man rounded the corner and screeched to a halt only a few
feet from Nabiki.
     "Kuno, why are you following me?" Nabiki's icy voice cut through
the background noise of the busy street beyond and attracting the
attention of nearby pedestrians.
     "Kooo-Nooo?" he tried to stammer out a funny accent.  "Who ist
this Kooo-Nooo?"
     "Knock it off, you eight-ball," Nabiki growled as she angrily
grabbed his fake beard and pulled.  With an irritated flick of her
wrist, she released it - the elastic bands that held the beard in
place caused it to snap back, smacking him hard under his nose.  The
result of the impact proved Kuno was no actor.
     "OUCH!  That hurt Nabiki Tendo."  Tatewaki's startled exclamation
caused Nabiki to glare at him harder.
     "That's Tendo-Lawrence!"
     "WHATEVER!"
     This only fueled Nabiki's anger.
     "I DON'T LIKE BEING FOLLOWED!  Understand?"  Nabiki emphasized
her points by poking the startled would-be-samurai in his chest.
     Kuno's response was interrupted by another voice.  "Is this man
bothering you, young lady?"
     Nabiki spun around to find a local police officer standing with
his arms crossed.  "Yes, officer, he is."
     "Alright, mister."  The officer reached for Kuno's arm.  "Let's
see your identification."
     Kuno's reaction was typical.  "A Kuno is not stopped like some
common peasant on the street."
     "Okay.  Have it your way."  The officer quickly twisted Kuno's
arm so that is was behind his back.  The startled young man rose up on
his toes as the officer applied a modest amount of pressure.
     "I can assure you, officer."  Kuno's voice had risen a couple of
octaves.  "I am a law-abiding citizen just out for a morning walk."
     "Yeah, yeah, sure you are.  All the folks on my beat go out for
their morning walks wearing false eyeglasses and beards."  The officer
began to lead the pleading Kuno away.
     "Officer, I am Kuno Tatewaki.  I've left my identification at
home.  There's no room in these pants for my wallet!"
     "Buddy, there's room in those pants for two pigs and half the
inventory of Kobayashi's Fish Market."
     Nabiki just shook her head and sighed as she watched her former
Furinkan classmate being led away.  The Rising Star of Japan wasn't
going quietly.
     "I KNOW THE MAYOR!"
     "Yeah and he speaks highly of you as well.  Keep moving."
     With a final sigh, Nabiki resumed her trek to the Nerima City
Annex.  This wasn't starting out well.

**********

     Ranma was the second to leave.  Cautiously, he poked his head out
the front gate and looked up and down the street.  Satisfied there was
no one he knew waiting for him, he stepped through the gate and
latched it behind him.  He paused to nervously adjust his new white
shirt - tugging at the annoying collar and trying not to sweat.  He
chose to wear a clean pair of his usual black pants - just in case he
needed to move quickly to lose a nosy fiancee or something.
     With one more check down the street, he set off in the opposite
direction Nabiki had taken.  He wanted to make a wide circle around
his intended goal to give himself plenty of time should anyone follow
him.
     He had gone several blocks and was beginning to think luck was on
his side this morning when he rounded a corner and screeched to a
halt.  Coming down the street on her bicycle was Shampoo.  From the
look of things, she was making an early morning delivery of some sort. 
Quickly, Ranma ducked back around the corner and held his breath as
the girl merrily peddled past and on down the street.  Heaving a heavy
sigh of relief, he cautiously stepped out and looked carefully down
the street where Shampoo 'should' have gone.  Curiously, there was no
sign of the girl.
     "RANMA!"  The sound of Shampoo's happy voice coming from the
direction behind him caused the boy to flinch.  The girl had obviously
circled the block and was now peddling up the alley on an intercept
course.  As his eyes went wide, his instincts did the rest.  He bolted
into the street and began to run.
     He quickly pulled a note card from his pocket and scanned the
options Nabiki had given him should he be pursued by each of the
fiancees.  Shampoo's listing had three choices.  He quickly discounted
the first two as he wasn't near any water and zoo was still many
blocks away.  However, he *was* near Western Tokyo University and its
school hospital.  Tossing the card into a trash can, he dashed for the
hospital's main entrance.

     Shampoo peddled as fast as she could after the retreating form of
her 'husband'.  At first, she almost didn't recognize him in his white
shirt.  Fortunately, her Amazon skills were still sharp and she was
able to see through his 'disguise'.
     She followed him towards a strange building.  The red cross flag
out front indicated it was a medical facility of some sort.  Frowning,
as she thought of reasons why her 'husband' would be doing around such
a place.  As she pondered the possibilities, she caught sight of him
disappearing through the building's front doors.  She thought it
strange that he suddenly didn't look like he was in much of a hurry. 
He was usually much harder to corner than this.  Oh well, she thought,
all the easier for me.
     Shampoo parked her bicycle out front and happily skipped through
the doors.  Inside, her senses were assaulted by the smells of
disinfectant and chemicals.  She wrinkled her pretty nose and looked
carefully down the halls that led from the front lobby.
     "Are you Shampoo?" a pleasant voice asked from behind.  Shampoo
spun around to see a friendly looking nurse holding a clipboard. 
"You're just in time."
     "Huh?"  Shampoo's reaction was less than original.
     "Your husband said you'd be right behind him."  The nurse gently
took the Chinese girl's arm and led her towards an examination room.
     "Husband?" Shampoo said dreamily.  "Ranma... husband."
     "Yes, sweetheart, your husband scheduled a whole series of tests
for you this morning.  I understand you're Chinese."
     "Tests?"  Shampoo was still in a daze at hearing Ranma referred
to as her husband.  The word 'tests' didn't fully register just yet.
     The nurse ask for and got Shampoo's Alien Registration Card,
which she clipped to her clipboard while leading the Amazon into an
examination room.
     Inside she closed the door and turned to Shampoo.  "Now, let's
get out of those clothes --"
     "What?" Shampoo gasped.  "Why Shampoo take clothes off."
     The nurse pulled a small plastic tray off the counter.  It was
full of nasty looking medical implements.  "We have to take some
blood, get some urine, then there's the mammogram and, of course, the
pap smear."
     "WHAT?"  Shampoo's voice suddenly became strained.
     "Just slip out of your top and hold out your arm."  The nurse
pulled out a device that contained a long needle on the end. 
Shampoo's eyes went wide.
     In her young life, she'd faced countless foes, enemies, demons,
and other armed killers without so much as a blink.  But here in the
sterile confines of a hospital examination room, a diminutive nurse
holding a needle that looked a foot long was all it took.  The
champion of the Amazons lost her nerve.
     "NO!" Shampoo screamed as she blew past the startled nurse and
exploded through the examination room's door.
     The nurse paused to look through the hole made by the startled
Shampoo and scowled.  "Well, he *did* say she'd be a little
reluctant."

**********

     Akane quietly left the Tendo compound and started towards the
City Annex.  She chose a more direct route - certain that few would be
interested in where *she* was going.  If anything, she reasoned, they
would be more likely to follow Ranma.
     She casually brushed her new skirt as she walked.  She had chosen
a light skirt and blouse combination that looked nice but not too
nice.  It was something she would likely wear to go to a museum or a
lecture.
     As she walked, a curious feeling that she was being followed
began to take hold.  Every now and then she would pause and look
casually over her shoulder.  The first few times there was only the
usual Nerima pedestrian traffic.  But, as she got closer to Furinkan,
she began to notice more and more familiar faces.  As she got to the
entrance gate, she suddenly spun around to find 20 to 30 young men
following her - many she recognized as her former high school
classmates.  They all tried to suddenly look unconcerned; gazing up in
the trees or burying their noses in thick books.  Akane had finally
had enough.
     Stomping up to the nearest little knot of males, she angrily
snatched a book out of one young man's hands.
     "Will you guys knock it off!  I don't *do* that anymore!"  She
tried to glare at the growing crowd as some of the guys on the fringes
edged closer.  She couldn't help but notice that a number of those
closest wore expressions like abandoned puppies.
     "Kuno said you were available again," one of the young men
wearing a New York Yankees baseball hat said hopefully.  "He said the
class rule was still in effect."
     "WHAT?" Akane sputtered.  "That was five years ago!"
     "Well, we still haven't found wives yet and you were the best
catch at Furinkan," a heavy-set fellow offered innocently.
     Akane flapped her arms like she was trying to take off.  This was
so ridiculous she couldn't immediately grasp its significance.  As she
looked from young man to young man, she detected they all had
something in common.
     "You clowns are not living in the real world, are you."  She
approached one and pulled angrily at his t-shirt.  "Cutie-Honey t-
shirts," she snarled in disgust.  "And the rest of you..."  She paused
to notice the book she'd taken from the first male.  A quick
examination of the others confirmed her suspicions.  They were all
wearing Anime t-shirts, pins, and carrying various editions of the
current manga.  "You're all a bunch of otakus.  I bet you even collect
manga, don't you?"
     The guys all muttered something unintelligible and looked down at
their shuffling feet.
     "GET A LIFE!  Find a job!  Move out of your parent's home!"  She
slapped the book back into its owner's chest.  "And stop reading this
stuff.  It'll rot your brains."
     With a huff, Akane planted her fists on her hips and glared at
the young men.  The small, embarrassed crowd of former suitors slowly
began to disperse.  One, however, timidly tried something that might
have worked five years ago.
     "Miss Akane, would you go out with me?"
     Akane grabbed the guy's head between her hands and looked him in
the eyes.  Her voice dripped with syrup.  "How sweet."
     "Then you'll go out with me?"  He sounded innocently hopeful.
     "Not if you were the last boy on earth."  Akane's face darkened
and her grip on the boy's head became painfully tight.  "Read my lips. 
I'm engaged.  SCRAM!"  The young man bolted from the street as fast as
his legs could carry him.
     Akane huffed again and noticed a group of adults who had paused
to watch her performance.
     "WHAT?" she yelled their way.  Quickly, the adults scurried off,
intent on putting as much distance as they could between themselves
and the violent young lady holding the strategic section of street in
front of Furinkan High School.  However, that didn't prevent Akane
from hearing the usual comments.
     "See?  I told you she had a temper."
     "I guess not everyone mellows with age."
     Akane's sudden glow caused the street to quickly empty.

**********

     Almost half an hour after the others had left, Kasumi calmly left
her home like she did almost every morning.  She stuck to her usual
schedule which included finishing the cleaning of her kitchen, putting
in a quick load of laundry, and making a short shopping list.
     "Hmmmmm," she mused while passing through the main gate.  "Ami-chan 
needs dog food, Ranma needs new underwear - again, and I need to
pick up a few things for breakfast tomorrow."
     She quickly became aware that she was being followed.  A limping
figure shuffled along from cover to cover as he kept Kasumi in sight.
     <Poor Daddy,> she thought charitably. <He's such a dear to keep
an eye on me.  Pity I cannot let him know where I'm going.>
     Kasumi turned down several side streets in an attempt to lose her
father in the crowd but he always seemed to find her in the end.  With
a sigh of resignation, Kasumi detoured off another side street and
into her favorite dress shop.
     "Kasumi!" an old high school friend called from the back of the
store as she worked her way towards her surprise visitor.  She had
worked at the shop ever since graduating from high school and Kasumi
was one of her most welcome customers.  "How nice to see you again. 
Have you decided on a new dress today?"
     Kasumi smiled and responded to her friend's welcoming bow.  "I
need your help."
     "What is it, Kasumi?"  Her friend frowned.
     "I think Daddy is following me this morning.  I really need to be
somewhere by 10 o'clock and I don't want him tagging along."
     Kasumi's friend looked around her and noticed an older man, all
dressed in black, standing idly over by the lingerie while trying to
look inconspicuous.
     "I know just the thing."  
     She led Kasumi back where there was a rack of fashionable but
practical dresses on sale.  Kasumi, delighted to see so many wonderful
dresses in her size, excitedly sorted through the rack - pausing only
to trade the latest gossip.
     Soun Tendo continued to try an look like a mildly interested
customer but it was hard due to where he was.  It didn't help when a
young clerk asked him if he wanted to see anything special.  Without
looking, Soun snatched up a red lace teddy from the rack next to him
and stammered something about a gift while waving it in front of the
embarrassed clerk.
     Kasumi, delighted to find a couple of dresses - including one
she'd had her eye on for weeks waiting for the price to drop,
accompanied her friend to the back of the store where they disappeared
down a short hallway screened from the rest of the shop by a long
curtain.  At the end of the hallway, just past the changing rooms, was
the shop's back door.
     "I hope your father doesn't catch on," her friend chirped as she
pushed open a door onto a quiet alley behind the shop.
     Kasumi bowed and giggled while handing the dresses back to her
friend.  She paused partway out of the door and added that she would
be back later for the dresses - especially the one she had her eye on. 
Her friend assured her that she'd keep them in the back for Kasumi and
they'd be there when she returned.  She also said she'd do whatever
was necessary to keep Mr. Tendo from discovering Kasumi had escaped.
     With Kasumi gone, her friend carefully hung up the dresses (after
leaving a note on them) and returned to the shop where Soun Tendo was
being given an uncomfortable lecture on the benefits of under-wire
bras by another young clerk.  Now committed to buying something, Soun
endured the whispers and giggles of the other customers as they filed
past.

**********

     Ranma quickly made up for lost time as he completed his planned
broad circle of Nerima.  Because it was getting close to the time he
needed to be at the Nerima City Annex, he chose a more direct route to
his goal.  As walked, his mind began to wander.  He recalled the
events of last night in Akane's room.  He had to admit, she could be
excitingly kawaii when she wanted to be.  He was just getting to the
part where she had been especially kawaii when a familiar voice jolted
him back.
     "Ranma?"
     Ranma's reaction was like he'd been jabbed with a cattle prod. 
"Oh... Hi, Ukyou."  He began to sweat.
     "What are you doing here at Tobu-Nerima Station?"  Ukyou's
question caused Ranma to glance around quickly like he was looking at
the place in question for the first time.
     "Oh... uh.... I'm...."  He quickly spotted the door for the
ticket booths.  "I'm checking on tickets down to Osaka.  Pop wants to
take another.... uh, training trip.  That's it.  He wants him and me
to go down to Osaka for a few weeks."  Ranma began to sweat harder as
he told his tale.  It wasn't a total fabrication.  He father *had*
suggested such a trip - 5 years ago.  Still, if it satisfied Ukyou, it
was worth it.  At first, it looked like his story was working.
     "I see," Ukyou mused out loud.  "Well, maybe you'd like to stop
by my shop afterwards and have a mid-morning snack.  I know how hungry
you can get."  Ukyou giggled broadly at the thought of getting Ranma
alone in her shop.  Perhaps, she thought, she could convince him of
how bad Akane was for him.
     "Yeah... that'd be... great."  Ranma cast a quick, nervous look
at the giant clock in front of the station.  "However, I really have
to be somewhere by 10 o'clock."
     "That's okay," Ukyou chirped as she slipped her arm through his. 
"I don't have to open the shop until 11 for the lunch crowd so I can
go with you."
     Ranma attempted a sick smile and gave a nod that looked more like
a someone who was trying to convince Akane she really *was* a good
cook while forcing down a mouthful of her food.  Another depressing
thought quickly occurred to him: There was no way he was going to lose
Ukyou gracefully once she got it in her head that she was going to go
with him.  He quickly looked for some avenue of escape.  A sign for
the station's toilets looked promising.
     "Uh, Ukyou," he stammered while trying to disengage himself
gracefully from the girl's grip.  "I really need to use the
facilities."
     Reluctantly, Ukyou released her 'fiance' so he could take care of
business.  Before he totally escaped her grasp, she made it clear she
would wait for him right outside the rest room doors and hinted that
she would be *very* disappointed if he didn't return quickly.
     Relieved to escape Ukyou's clutches, Ranma practically ran to the
men's toilet.  Inside, he frantically looked for some escape.  As it
was an older station, he noted there was a painted-over old window at
the back of the room.  Thanking his lucky stars, he bounded over to
the window and, after only a short struggle, was able to open it
enough for him to wiggle through.
     Once outside, he found himself in a narrow alley that led to the
train platforms behind the station.  With a sigh of relief, he quickly
gained one of the platforms and started walking calmly towards the
pedestrian bridge to the other side of the tracks.  It would
necessitate a minor detour but if it allowed him to avoid encountering
Ukyou again, it was worth it.
     He was pondering how he could make it up to Ukyou when a small
club struck the back of his head.
     "OW!" he snarled as he spun around to confront his attacker. 
"What'd ya do that for?"
     "Ranma Saotome the time has come for us to end our rivalry for
the hand of Shampoo."  It was Mousse and he looked determined to
inflict the maximum damage on his rival for the Chinese Amazon's
affection.  "What have you done with her?"
     "Mousse, you moron, I don't know were she is.  The last time I
saw her she was going into a hospital."
     "LIAR!  My Shampoo needs no medical attention.  Defend yourself!" 
Mousse waved his long sleeved arms like he was preparing to deploy one
of his many hidden weapons.  However, as he continued to flail his
arms, nothing happened.
     Ranma, taking no chances, dropped into a defensive pose - ready
for whatever the near-sighted Chinese Amazon-consort had to offer. 
Off in the distance, he could hear the warning horn of an approaching
express train.
     With an irritated look, Mousse paused and looked up one of his
sleeves.  "I can't believe it.  I over packed again."  He shook his
sleeve and resorted to rummaging around with his other hand in an
attempt to dislodge whatever was preventing him from deploying his
master weapon.
     Ranma watched in fascination as Mousse pulled item after item out
of his sleeve - clubs, whips, tennis shoes, a lady's bra (probably one
of Shampoo's), two Japanese lanterns, and a live rabbit were quickly
dropped on the platform.
     "Ah, that's what was causing the backup," Mousse announced with
some satisfaction as he removed a stuffed armadillo.  
     The express train began to pass by the station behind Ranma as
Mousse again flailed his arms and announced in his nasally Chinese
voice Ranma's impending demise.  A chain topped by a particularly
nasty looking claw shot out of the boy's sleeve, headed straight for
Ranma's body.
     With an almost nonchalant jump, Ranma avoided the claw.  However,
as he landed lightly, the claw impacted the last car of the train and
embedded itself deeply in the car's skin.
     Mousse only had time for a short 'Uh Oh' before he was snatched
off the platform by the speeding train - leaving a small pile of
strange-looking parts behind.
     Ranma leaned over slightly to watch Mousse, his body horizontally
suspended behind the speeding train on the end of his long chain,
disappear around the bend in the tracks.
     "Next stop: Osaka," he happily mumbled as he headed for the
pedestrian bridge.  He could just make it if he hurried.

**********

     Nabiki and Kasumi met quietly outside the Nerima City Annex
building.  Both scanned the street looking for either of the
prospective couple.  Nabiki set her briefcase on the ground and
nervously glanced at her watch.
     "Where are those two?" she grumped.
     Kasumi just shrugged her shoulders and clasped her hands in front
of her skirt.  Her pretty face screwed itself into a worried frown as
she anxiously tried to pick out her sister or Ranma from the people
passing by.  "Perhaps they were delayed."
     With a sigh, Nabiki shook her head.  "Well, they better get here
soon.  I can't keep everyone waiting.  We'll lose our place in line."
     Kasumi was about to say something when her eye caught on a
familiar figure.  Before she could point him out to her sister, a
dark-haired blur darted from a nearby rooftop and tackled Ranma in the
street.
     "Ranma, darling!  We've got to stop meeting like this." 
Kodachi's voice cut through the street noise like a buzz saw.  Ranma's
reaction was timeless.
     "Get off me, you latex loonie!"  He struggled briefly before
wiggling out of Kodachi's embrace.
     "Uh-oh."  Nabiki's reaction was answered by Ranma taking to his
heels and dashing back the way he had come.
     "Well, at least he had the good sense not to make a run for the
city offices.  That would have given away where he really wanted to
go."  Kasumi sounded hopeful and, as usual, overly optimistic. 
Ranma's choice of direction was dictated solely by the circumstances.
     Nabiki, a little more attuned to what was really happening,
couldn't help but scowl at her older sister.  "You're really lost,
aren't you?"
     Kasumi's response was interrupted by Akane's arrival.  Naturally,
she ignored her older sisters and set off in pursuit of her fiance.  
     "Great!" Nabiki growled in disgust.  "Now we gotta wait till
'lover boy' ditches the Black Rose of Insanity.  Go back inside and
hold our place in line while I try to round up the happy couple." 
Nabiki handed her briefcase to Kasumi, admonished her to keep a close
eye on it, and hailed a nearby cab.
     As she climbed into the taxi, she uttered the oddest instructions
the cab driver had ever heard.  "Follow that loony."
     The driver glanced around to see who his passenger had indicated. 
Figuring she must have meant the short-haired girl running furiously
down the street, he jammed the car into gear and shot off after Akane.
     They quickly caught up with the running Tendo and Nabiki yelled
for her to get into the cab.  The driver, figuring he'd met the
required challenge, turned around in his seat and looked questioningly
at Nabiki.
     "Keep going, you fool!  Don't let them get away!."  She added a
slap on the passenger seat back for emphasis.
     "Go WHERE?"  The driver was clearly confused.  But then, this was
probably the first time a Tendo had ever been in his taxi.
     Nabiki quickly scanned for any sign of Ranma or Kodachi.  Seeing
a flash of white dart onto a rooftop a block ahead, she pointed
further down the street.  "That way!"
     The driver, figuring a fare was a fare, set off at the best speed
he could.  Akane and Nabiki stuck their heads out the windows like two
dogs enjoying the ride as they tried to keep Ranma in sight.
     "Why is he heading South?" Akane yelled.
     "Who knows.  He's Ranma."
     The cab continued for the next 20 minutes dodging traffic and
making sharp turns upon Nabiki's commands.  No matter what they tried,
they couldn't get any closer to the roof-running pair.  
     Akane, however, soon figured out where Ranma was heading.  "Tokyo
Tower!"
     "What?"
     "He's heading for Tokyo Tower.  I've seen him use this on
Shampoo.  He'll lose her in the tourist crowd at the tower."
     "Akane, it's Thursday morning.  There's no crowd at the tower
this time of day."
     "Uh-oh."

     Ranma tried everything he could think of to lose Kodachi but she
doggedly stuck to his trail.  Sighting the tower a few blocks away, he
darted off a pair of trucks and onto the street below.  Kodachi
followed only seconds behind.  She had her deadly ribbon out now. 
That could only mean one thing; she was going to snag him like a
cowboy roping a steer.
     Ranma ducked through the remaining obstacles between him and the
tower.  To his surprise, he found the plaza at the base almost empty
of people.  Only a handful of tourists were waiting patiently for the
elevator that would take them up the gigantic structure.
     Kodachi's first attempt to snag Ranma by the leg snapped loudly
as it came up inches short.  He knew she wouldn't miss a second time.
     "Gang way! GomenGomenGomen!" he yelled as he dove for the open
elevator door.
     Kodachi must have figured she had him trapped because instead of
using her ribbon, she bounded merrily into the elevator behind him. 
Her insane laughter echoing oddly in the confined space of the
elevator.  The few waiting cringed and backed off.  All, that is,
except a lone couple.
     Ranma timed his escape from the elevator perfectly.  Just as the
doors were closing, he sprung out the narrow opening and rolled free. 
He might have made it except a ribbon suddenly lashed out from the
elevator and wrapped itself around his ankle.  As the doors fully
closed and the elevator began its assent, Ranma was jerked off his
feet and dragged aloft.  Frantically, he grabbed at the ribbon and
tried to disengage himself from its tight grip.  It was no use.  In
seconds, he would come in contact with the first cross beam.  The
result would be most... messy.
     His plight did not go un-noticed.  Only inches from the beam, a
black and yellow blur seemed to come from nowhere and easily severed
the ribbon - dropping Ranma to the hard pavement below.
     Akane and Nabiki bolted from the taxi as it screeched to a halt
and arrived at Ranma's side as he staggered to his feet.
     "Are you okay?" Akane anxiously asked as she brushed his shirt
lightly to remove the accumulated debris and smudges.
     "I think so."  Ranma steadied himself on Akane's shoulder while
he removed the remnant of Kodachi's ribbon from his ankle.  "Good
thing this broke."
     "Yeah, good thing," came a familiar voice.  Ranma jerked taut and
groaned as the three turned towards the voice.
     "Ryouga."  Nabiki's annoyance at this new turn in her plan was
obvious.
     Akane was about to ask something when she noticed a short, dark-
haired young lady peeking shyly from behind Ryouga.  "Hello?" she
asked softly.  "And who are you?"
     The girl stared at the trio with large, dark eyes.  It was clear
she found all their antics most... unusual.  Ryouga, who was busy
rubbing the back of his head in an embarrassed manner, blushed when
his eyes met Akane's.
     "It's okay.  You can come out."  Akane's soft voice seemed to do
the trick as the girl tentatively leaned out from behind Ryouga a
little more.  Her frown and the way she clung to Ryouga told Akane she
was more than just a casual friend.
     Ryouga, as if he suddenly figured out what Akane was talking
about, hurriedly put his hand on the young woman's arm made a
reluctant introduction.  "This... is my... friend, Unryuu Akari."
     The girl did a tentative bow in acknowledgment of her name. 
"Ryouga, who are these people?"
     Ryouga quickly went through the introductions.  As usual, he
practically bit his tongue when he introduced Ranma.
     As he finished, an irritating voice echoed from the top of Tokyo
Tower.  "Ranma darling.  I'll wait for you up here.  Don't be long."
     All five slowly turned to look up at a single speck waving from a
platform far above.
     "Ranma-san certainly has some unusual friends," Akari noted
firmly.
     "She's his fiancee," Ryouga corrected.
     "Hey!  That wasn't my idea."  Ranma bristled. 
     "As I understand, neither was Akane."  Five years ago Ryouga's
retort might have started a fight.  But both young men had grown and
matured enough to realize and respect the truth between each other. 
Besides, Ranma had just been saved by Ryouga - again.  That alone was
enough to temper Ranma's spirit.
     "Yeah, well..."
     "We have to be going," Nabiki interrupted as she pushed Ranma and
Akane toward the waiting taxi.  "Enjoy your tour of Tokyo."
     "Oh, this isn't the first time I've been here.  I just love
coming to Tokyo."  Akari hugged Ryouga's arm in a bubbly way.
     "You've been here before?"  Nabiki paused her departure, curious
as to Akari's meaning.
     "Oh, yes.  The pigs and I have come to Tokyo on several
occasions."
     "Pigs."  Nabiki blinked like she wasn't sure she heard what she
thought she heard.
     "Yes, especially my sumo pigs.  They just love all the attention
they get."
     "I can just imagine."
     "They really like the park."  Akari giggled.
     "The park."
     "Oh yes, they like to wallow in the ponds and root around for
things to eat.  Most people are happy to share their picnics with my
pigs."
     Nabiki scowled as she tried to imagine 500 pound pigs begging for
food from families picnicking in the park - even if they *were* well
behaved pigs.  With a shrug and a sly smile at Ryouga, Nabiki patted
him on the arm and summed up her opinion of Akari.  "You've got a
winner there, sweetheart."
     Ryouga's embarrassed smile graced Nabiki's departure as she
hurried to catch up with her sister and Ranma.
     "What a nice lady."  Akari happily waved to Nabiki.  "We should
invite her out to the farm some day."
     Ryouga cast Akari an incredulous look.  Somehow, he just couldn't
see Nabiki standing among a bunch of pigs.
     "Ranma darling!  Where are you going?"
     Ryouga and Akari slowly looked up the tower again.  The figure on
the platform was jumping up and down and frantically waving.
     "Umm, are you certain you want to go up there?"
     "I see what you mean."  Akari frowned at the bouncing figure. 
"Let's go to the park instead.  I'm sure my pigs are done with the
picnics by now."

     The small taxi seemed even smaller with three occupants in the
back seat.  Ranma, wedged between sisters, was especially
uncomfortable - mainly because Akane continued to brush his shirt
clean.  He also wondered if it was such a good idea for all of them to
be in the same place at the same time.  No telling what might happen.
     Nabiki ordered the driver to the Nerima City Annex and the car
slid easily into the flow of traffic.  They still had time to get to
the Annex.  Besides, Nabiki was confident that Kasumi could delay even
the workings of government if she had a mind to.  With a satisfied
sigh, she slumped back in the seat and tried to gather her thoughts. 
Her plan wasn't going exactly as planned.  The timetable was off, it
was getting close to ten o'clock, and they still had half a city to
cross.  On the other hand, she at least had everyone she needed
gathered together.  All they had to do now was get to the City Annex
before any of the other fiancees figured out what they were up to.
     The taxi jerked to a sudden halt and jolted Nabiki back to the
current situation.  Concerned, she leaned forward and scowled at what
she saw.  For some reason, there was a massive traffic jam blocking
their way.
     "We're not going to make it," Akane moaned as she stuck her head
out of the window.
     "Looks like Kasumi will just have to delay things a little
longer."  Nabiki grinned darkly as she thought of Kasumi applying her
full treatment to the city staff.  She felt a spark of pity for them
really.
     "But what if she can't?"
     "Then we'll just have to think of something else."
     Ranma, never very good at thinking of something else, wasn't
about to wait for another idea.  While Nabiki loudly objected, he
pushed the protesting Akane out of their cab, gathered her into his
arms and began running over the tops of the cars.
     Nabiki opened her door and stepped partway out.  "Ranma!  Come
back here!  Oh, for pete's sake."  This was yet another wrinkle in her
plan.  In desperation, she yelled at the driver.  "Follow them!"
     "Are you nuts?" the driver protested while waving his hands at
the stalled traffic.  "There's no way I can follow them."
     Disgusted, Nabiki angrily dashed around the car and yanked open
the driver's door.  "Move over," she commanded.  The driver, sensing
Nabiki was one not to be trifled with, did as he was told - offering
only scant protests in return.
     Nabiki slid behind the wheel and looked at the car's controls
like she was daring them not to do her bidding.
     "Do you know how to drive a car?" the nervous taxi driver asked.
     "Jeffrey does it all the time.  How hard can it be?"  Nabiki
ground the gears putting it into first.  The driver winced at the
punishment his poor vehicle was taking but he refrained from
protesting when Nabiki cast him a withering look of warning.
     Nabiki looked for a way out of the traffic jam.  Her eye caught
on an open space off to her left.  Unfortunately, it was the sidewalk. 
     Never one to look an opportunity in the mouth, she gunned the
engine and forced the little taxi onto the nearly sidewalk - wildly
scattering pedestrians and knocking over store displays.  The car's
engine revved dangerously high.
     "Second gear, lady!  Second gear!"
     "Where's that?"  Nabiki looked down at the gear shift knob.
     The driver's scream caused her to glance up and yank the wheel to
the right just enough to avoid a group of junior high girls in their
fukus as they scattered like a flock of geese.
       It was then Nabiki discovered the car's horn.  Using it freely,
she announced her intentions to pass without hitting anyone. 
Surprisingly, she was successful.  Her vehicle bobbed and weaved as it
lurched over curbs and skidded around other obstacles.  In a short
time, she had escaped the traffic jam, discovered the first three
gears and found herself motoring down almost deserted alleys and
narrow back streets.  The taxi driver cowered in his seat and mumbled
prayers for salvation.
     <I wonder why Jeffrey wouldn't let me drive before,> Nabiki
thought as the taxi skidded around a corner and shot off towards
Nerima. <This is easy.>

     Meanwhile, Ranma nimbly dashed over cars, trucks and the
occasional bus as he made good time crossing the city.  Akane, nestled
uncomfortably in his arms, clung to him for dear life.
     "Slow down!" she yelled before closing her eyes to avoid seeing
how he was going to avoid a truck full of chickens.
     "Can't!  We've got only ten minutes to get there."  Ranma bounced
off the roof of a nearby city bus before landing on the sidewalk. 
Their passage was marked by surprised shouts of warning and honking of
horns.  Whatever Akane might have thought of this mode of
transportation, it was certainly making good time.

     Kasumi had just gotten to the front of the line at the City
Clerk's office.  Looking nervously back along the rest of the line,
she quickly thought of how to delay things until her sisters and Ranma
arrived.
     "May I help you?" the young lady behind the receptionist desk
asked in a bored, official-sounding voice.
     Stuck for an excuse, Kasumi improvised.  "When was the last time
you cleaned this lobby?"
     Stunned, the receptionist blinked before adding a scowl.  "I
really don't think --"
     "And the glass on that front door."  Kasumi waved her free hand
at the front of the building.  "Honestly, my little sister could clean
glass better than that."
     "The cleaning crew doesn't come on until ten.  I'm sure they'll
take care of --"
     "Is this the way you organize your desk?"  Kasumi was on a roll
now - speaking of things she knew about.  "My husband, Dr. Tofu Ono,
used to try and work in such a mess.  He was always losing files and
forgetting appointments."
     The receptionist looked about her cluttered desk with a confused
expression.
     "I'm sure we can get you better organized than this."  Kasumi
moved around the desk and set about sorting out the mess.  "If you put
all your appointment files here and put your phone over there..."
     "Lady --"
     "Just bear with me.  I'll get you organized in a jiffy."
     The long line of Nerima citizens could only look on in wonder as
the eldest Tendo daughter conducted an impromptu class on office
efficiency.

     "Only a few blocks to go," Nabiki crowed as she sped past the
Tendo home - her horn blaring in triumph.  The taxi driver could only
whimper and hang on for dear life.

     At the neighborhood koban, Sergeant Fujimoto was just settling
down to his morning tea break.  Setting a small chair and table out
front, he took a deep breath and exhaled happily.
     "Such a beautiful day," he said to the duty officer inside. 
"Turn of the radio and let's get some music."  He bowed briefly and
saluted to an elderly couple passing by.  Nothing could go wrong
today.  Nothing.
     "You forgot your munchies, sergeant," the duty officer said with
a grin.  He really liked these calm summer days.  The worst they ever
had to deal with lately was an occasional lost salryman or illegally
parked car.
     Sergeant Fujimoto chuckled as he stepped back into the koban. 
"Absolutely correct.  My morning tea wouldn't be complete without the
sweets."
     He picked up the little box containing his snack and was just
about to step back outside when a runaway taxi careened past - its
horn blaring.  His little table and chairs clanged off the side of the
building.  With a shout of surprise, Fujimoto dove for cover - his box
of snacks scattering throughout the koban.
     "WHAT WAS THAT?"  The duty officer leaned over his desk in time
to see the lid to Fujimoto's tea kettle spinning forlornly on the
sidewalk; the kettle itself long since smashed.
     The rotund Fujimoto crawled out from behind a desk and stared
dumbfounded at what was left of his morning tea.  "Get me a driver.  I
want that felon."
     A squad car quickly pulled up out front and Sergeant Fujimoto
waved the driver over into the passenger seat.  This was *his* chase. 
Wedging his large body behind the wheel, he flipped on the siren and
the little police car took off after the runaway taxi.
     It wasn't hard to follow, it's wake was littered with knocked
over signs, damaged carts, and crushed trash cans.  Within a few
blocks, Fujimoto caught sight of the taxi as it veered into the city
park.
     "Ooh-ooh-ooh, shouldn't we call it in?" the other officer asked
as he grabbed the radio microphone.
     Fujimoto snatched the microphone from his fellow officer's hands
and tossed it out the window.  "This guy's mine!"  
     The police car accelerated as it tried to follow the taxi through
the park.  Whoever was operating the taxi had to be a master getaway
driver, perhaps even a yakuza gangster.
     "Get the license number!"  Fujimoto skidded past a rock garden
and tore off the rear bumper of the patrol car.
     The officer in the passenger seat began to rummage around in the
glove compartment.
     "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
     "I can't see without my glasses!  They're in here somewhere."
     "How do you see to drive?"  Fujimoto wrestled with the steering
wheel as he struggled to stay behind the fleeing taxi.
     "This is Nerima, sergeant!  We don't chase people here!"
     Nabiki's taxi plunged through a hedge, clipping a large chunk off
and dragging it behind the vehicle.
     As the police officer fitted his glasses, it quickly became
apparent that they weren't going to help.  The section of hedge being
dragged behind the taxi fully obscured the license plate.  Fujimoto
followed as best he could but it was becoming clear he was no match
for the yakuza professional behind the wheel of the taxi.
     "Only a bank robber would be so reckless!" Fujimoto yelled as his
car took out a drinking fountain sending a geyser of water arching
high overhead.

     Nabiki crested a small rise and roared down towards a group of
picnickers.  Leaning on the horn, Nabiki shifted gears and fish-tailed
the taxi around a particular picnicking couple and their pigs.
     "Wasn't that your friend Nabiki?" Akari asked calmly as the taxi
pirouetted around her prized sumo pig.  
     Ryouga froze with a rice ball to his mouth as he followed the
vehicle's path around their encampment.  Mud, grass, and park debris
flew in all directions.  The pigs loved it.  Ryouga just grimaced.  He
didn't remember this part of the park being so noisy.  Of course, he
really didn't remember this part of the park at all.
     "I don't think we should have her out to the farm.  She's a
little too active."  Akari struck a contemplative pose before calmly
offering Ryouga a plate of food.  "Another rice ball?"

     The police car stormed over the rise and skidded sideways to
avoid a herd of pigs.  Fujimoto and the police officer screamed and
closed their eyes as it became apparent they were not going to avoid
all the pigs.  A loud squeal followed by a firm thump on the front of
their patrol car confirmed the strike.  When they opened their eyes,
there was a VERY large and angry looking sumo pig staring at them
through the front window.  He had been munching on some mashed rice
when the front bumper hijacking occurred and he wasn't a bit pleased
about it.
     "It's a pig!" the officer yelled as he pushed himself deeper into
his seat.  The pig snorted and glared at him through the window with
angry red eyes.
     Fujimoto stomped on the brakes sending the pig flying.

     A courting couple were having their own picnic on the other side
of another rise.  They heard the disturbance but couldn't see what was
going on - not that they were all that interested in the first place. 
The young man kept stumbling as he nervously sought the right words to
ask the girl to marry him.  She, however, was dubious about him being
the right man for her.
     "Will you marry me?" he finally asked most romantically.  
     The girl blushed, closed her eyes and asked for guidance from her
recently departed grandmother. <Please, grandmother, give me a sign if
I should marry this man.  Something that I cannot mistake.>
     Just then a large sumo pig crashed into their picnic. <Gee,
grandma, could you be a little more subtle.>
     "Get your things, we're leaving," she sighed.
     "Where are we going?"
     "To get married, where else?"

     Meanwhile, back at Akari's picnic, the police car spun around
after discharging the large pig and headed for Akari and Ryouga.  At
the last minute, the car swerved but not enough to avoid Akari's bag
of water.  It exploded all over Ryouga as the police car took off
after the runaway taxi.  By the time Akari looked back at him, there
was only a little black pig angrily hopping around while 'bweeing'
furiously.  With a sigh, she picked him up and calmly waited for his
little legs to stop kicking.
     "Can't take you anywhere," she giggled.  "Let's go home.  I'll
give you a hot bath."
     The little pig's legs stopped instantly.  A strange blush seemed
to envelop P-chan's snout.

     Near the far side of the park, the little taxi spun around a
stone shrine and ducked between a pair of trees as it headed for the
lake.  Not far behind, Fujimoto grinned to himself.  There was no way
that car was going to get away from him now.
     To his surprise, instead of trying to double back and make for a
park entrance, the taxi headed straight for a small foot bridge that
spanned the narrowest part of the lake.  His jaw dropped as the car
sped up the narrow bridge, it's doors only inches away from the
railing - panicked pedestrians jumped from the bridge into the water
to escape.  At the top, the taxi seemed to launch itself the remaining
distance to the shore beyond - landing with a loud thump and sending
chunks of turf flying as its wheels dug in and the car shot forward
once again.
     "Hang on!" Fujimoto growled as he aimed the police car for the
little bridge.
     "WE CAN'T MAKE THAT!"
     "SHUT UP!  He made it!  I can make it!"
     With his siren screaming and the little engine roaring, Fujimoto
hit the bridge at a high rate of speed.  The structure, already
weakened by the assault from the taxi, bobbed and weaved dangerously. 
With a final groan, the structure collapsed like a cardboard display. 
The squad car seemed to pause in mid-air - its little tires spinning
furiously and its siren rising to a fever pitch.  As gravity took
over, the vehicle dropped like a rock into the shallow water near the
collapsed bridge - ending with a mighty splash.  The siren wound down
and gurgled as it slid underwater.  The two police officers sat
stunned as the water level climbed up to the edge of the windows and
stopped as the little police car settled onto the bottom of the lake.
     Slowly, Fujimoto turned to look at his partner.  "If you say one
word..."  His partner, sitting with his hat askew, could only stare
back as the water caused the car's police radio to suddenly click on. 
     "Car 54.  Where are you?"

     Ranma, with Akane still nestled in his arms, dashed up the street
leading to the Nerima City Annex.  He was just seconds away from his
goal.
     "I see it!" he yelled.
     As he took one more bound, a white streak seemed to come out of
nowhere and collided with the couple, sending Akane into a cloth
merchant's display and Ranma into a nearby fountain.
     Akane crashed onto the table full of linen and pillows, the
impact driving the breath from her.  She lay still for a few moments
trying to gather her wits as a number of ladies looked on and
whispered to each other.
     "Are you alright?" the shop owner asked anxiously as he helped
Akane to her feet.
     "I think so."  She felt the back of her head and winced at the
bump her landing left her with.  Other than that, she seemed unhurt. 
"Sorry about your merchandise."
     "Don't worry about that.  Are you certain you're okay?"
     Akane started to nod when she noticed what, or who, had caused
their accident.  Standing in the middle of the street, calmly leaning
on her staff, was Cologne.  Suddenly, everything added up.  Only
Cologne could have figured out what Nabiki had been up to all week. 
It only followed that she would be the one obstacle that they couldn't
easily avoid in getting married.
     Akane was about to say something when she heard Ranma
approaching.
     "You crazy old ghoul!" Ranma-chan yelled as she stepped into the
street her white shirt clinging obscenely to her body.  "You could
have killed us."
     "I doubt it.  The impact was not nearly hard enough."
     "You could have hurt Akane."
     "That matters not.  You've toyed enough with this local girl.  It
is time you gave up this foolishness and come home to China as
Shampoo's husband."
     "I'm not going anywhere with you... or Shampoo."  Ranma-chan
stepped between Cologne and Akane as he talked.  "I'm staying here
with Akane."
     "You have no choice.  Our laws --"
     "Don't apply here.  Go home and leave us alone."
     "You know better than that.  Having you return with us will
restore Shampoo's honor among our people.  You and she will make many
powerful young Amazons."
     "You're insane.  I love Akane."  
     The gathering crowd frowned at each other as the female Ranma-chan 
loudly proclaimed her love for the youngest daughter of Soun
Tendo.  Apparently, Ranma-chan detected what effect her words were
having on the crowd.  "I mean, Akane is like a member of my family." 
The crowd groaned a loud 'ooooooh' in unison to confirm their
understanding of the public relationship between the red-headed Ranma-
chan and the embarrassed-looking Akane.
     Ranma-chan, figuring the best defense was an offense, leapt to
the attack.  What followed was a short and totally uninteresting
fight.  In the end, Cologne stunned the red-head with her cane.  As
the dazed Ranma-chan bent over holding her head, the old Amazon lined
up her next shot like a golfer.
     "Fore!" she yelled as she smacked Ranma-chan back into the
fountain.  "Damn!  Gotta work on that slice."
     Akane had had enough.  Stepping into the street and facing the
victorious Cologne, she dropped into what looked like a gunfighter's
stance.  "I've waited five years to get married.  In that time, I've
put up with you and your little band of gaijin with patience and
understanding.  You've embarrassed me, my family, and my fiance.  I
don't like you."
     Cologne chuckled lightly.  The youngest Tendo girl was not
threat.  "Go home, child.  This doesn't concern you.  It's between
myself and my son-in-law."
     Akane refrained from answering as her anger grew with every
passing second.  Her body began sucking up ki at an astounding rate. 
Fast enough for even Cologne to notice.  Akane began to glow a bright
amber.  
     Cologne's eyes narrowed for a moment before springing open wide
with surprise.  She now recognized what she was faced with.  It was
something that she hadn't seen in many years.  It was something that
if she didn't strike first and quickly, she might not be able to
strike at all.
     As Ranma-chan climbed out of the fountain sputtering, Cologne
attacked.  Her staff held like a lance, the old ghoul launched herself
at Akane with such speed and ferocity, she appeared to be but a tiny
white comet.
     Akane calmly stood her ground, her hands inches from her shapely
hips, as her glow became bright enough for even a non-martial artist
to see.  Ranma-chan was about to call out a warning when Akane flipped
one hand up like she was holding a six shooter and a concentrated ball
of pure ki energy lashed out catching Cologne squarely in the chest.
     The old witch had only an instant to utter a choked cry of
surprise before her body was violently thrown back down the street
with such force she pin-balled off the buildings as she went.
     Stunned silence surrounded the gathered onlookers as Akane slowly
held her finger up to her lips and blew lightly.  You could almost
hear the theme from 'The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly'.
     "Come on, Ranma.  We've got an appointment to keep."
     "Akane, you've *got* to show me how you do that," Ranma-chan said
with a shake of her head.
     "Not a chance.  Let's go get married."  Akane skipped lightly up
the steps and disappeared into the building.
     The red-headed girl shrugged at the crowd with an embarrassed
look.  "She didn't really mean that.  I mean, *she's* getting married
to a guy.  Right now.  Well, at 10 o'clock.... but he's a real guy.
Really."
     The crowd exchanged dubious looks.
     "Gotta go help her.  Bye."  Ranma-chan bounded up the stairs and
followed Akane.  Behind her, were the usual odd comments.
     "I thought the Tendo girl was going to marry Ranma Saotome."
     "He was here a minute ago."
     "Maybe he went inside."
     "Who's the red-head?  Did the Tendo girl say they were going to
get married?"
     "Well, she always said she didn't like boys."
     The whole crowd groaned "Ooooooooh" again and began to wander
off.

     Nabiki was just turning onto the street the led to the Nerima
City Annex when a small body bounced off a nearby building and slammed
into the windshield of the taxi.  It didn't stay long as its momentum
caused it to bounce off the car and over the wall of nearby Furinkan
High School.
     "What was THAT?" the taxi driver screamed.
     "Chinese take out."  Nabiki scowled at the window as she turned
on the wipers.  "Leaves a mess, don't it?"
     The little taxi, honking its warning, careened up the street.
Like a Hollywood move, it skidded 180 degrees in the street and slid
perfectly into a parking place in front of the building.  Nabiki
kicked open the door, tossed some money to the driver and scampered up
the stairs.  The clock on the front of the building just clicked over
to 10 o'clock.
     
     Nabiki easily found Ranma and Akane.  They were standing among a
crowd of onlookers watching Kasumi conduct a demonstration on the
proper way to scrub a floor.
     Down on her hands and knees, Kasumi twirled the scrub brush in
her yellow gloved hands and smiled confidently at the cleaning people
as she demonstrated her technique.  "You see?  Small circles that
overlap will get the floor much cleaner and it really doesn't take any
more time than the old back and forth method."  The gathered cleaning
personnel 'ooohed and aaahed' their appreciation - like scientists
being shown the way to read Egyptian hieroglyphics.
     "Nice job Kasumi.  Now, can we get these two married?"  Nabiki
pushed her way past the crowd and up to the receptionist desk.  It too
looked like the recipient of Kasumi touch.  "I'm here for my 10
o'clock appointment."
     Smiling at Kasumi, the receptionist easily plucked the
appointment book from its new, more efficient location.  "Ah yes,
Nabiki Tendo-Lawrence.  Ten o'clock.  To get married."
     "Not me.  Them."  Nabiki scowled as she jerked a thumb towards
her younger sister and Ranma.
     Unfortunately, Ranma was not currently.... Ranma.
     "Excuse me, but those are two girls," the receptionist loud
whispered as she practically twitched at the non-conformity of it all.
     Nabiki turned and looked at Ranma-chan like she was seeing her
for the first time.  Covering her face with a hand, Nabiki sighed. 
"Akane, would you please take... Ranko here to the facilities and try
to locate Ranma.  Thank you."  Nabiki turned to the staring
receptionist.  "I'm sure he'll be along shortly."
     "Fine."  The receptionist stamped an official looking form and
handed it to Nabiki like she was glad to get rid of the whole annoying
family.  "Room 121 - down the hall and to the right."
     Nabiki thanked the receptionist, gathered her briefcase and
started towards the room.  Kasumi, after returning the gloves and
offering a few last minute pointers to the cleaning crew, quickly
followed.
     Room 121 had no line.  It was a typical Japanese government
office; only a handful of identical gray metal desks behind a long
counter that looked like it had seen better days.  
     As the older Tendo sisters purposefully walked up to the counter,
they were almost universally ignored in typical government employee
fashion.  Nabiki placed her briefcase on the counter in front of the
first station and pulled out a packet of papers.  The male clerk
behind the counter looked unimpressed but acted cordial nonetheless. 
     "I'm here to register a marriage," Nabiki announced forcefully.
     The clerk pulled out an official-looking checklist and began to
drone out a list of required documents.  As he asked for each, Nabiki
calmly handed them over.  He quickly went through his check-list again
to conclude everything was in order.
     "Now, which one of you is the bride?"
     Nabiki and Kasumi traded looks before holding up their left hands
and answering together: "Do we look like brides?"
     The clerk blinked.  "I'm sorry, I thought you said you were here
to register a marriage.  Perhaps you want another office."
     "No, we're here to get our sister married."  Kasumi tried her
Number 3 smile on the clerk.  It always worked on the mailman.  
     The clerk, however, was made of different stuff.  He scowled at
the eldest Tendo sister.  "I'm sorry, but there must be a bride.  It
says so right here."  He pointed to one of the boxes on his checklist
as he held it in front of Kasumi.
     Before either of the sisters could answer, Akane burst through
the door.  She was not alone.  Unfortunately, the person who was with
her still had red hair.
     "I can't believe it!  We've been to two rest rooms on this floor
and neither of them has any hot water.  How's a person supposed to
wash their hands?"  Akane glared at the clerk.
     The clerk, however, was firm in his surroundings and returned an
official-looking smirk.  "I trust one of *you* are the bride." 
     "Yeah, so?"  After all she'd gone through this morning, Akane was
in no mood for snooty government employees.
     "And where's the groom?"
     "We're working on it!"
     The clerk frowned at the application.  "Young lady, you cannot
just show up at a city office and hope someone there is willing to
marry you."
     "The groom's name is on the documents," Nabiki growled.  She was
beginning to regret not getting her sister married in Hawaii.  Less
paperwork there.
     "Oh yes, that would be... Saotome Ranma.  I trust he's coming."
     "Sooner than you know."  Akane spotted a possible solution to
their dilemma - the office tea pot boiling on a hot plate.  "Could we
borrow that?"
     The clerk glanced at the pot and scowled.  "This is most
irregular."
     "You don't know the half of it."
     "I don't know...."
     "I'll leave a deposit," Nabiki snarled as she slapped a 10,000
yen note on the counter.
     The clerk glanced at the note, at Nabiki, at the tea pot, and
finally back at the note again.  With a visible twitch, he retrieved
the pot and handed it to Akane.
     "We'll be right back," she said to her sisters before turning to
Ranma-chan.  The red-head already knew what was going to happen.
     "Back to the toilet?" she asked.
     "Back to the toilet."  Akane took her gender-switched fiance's
arm and towed her towards the door.
     If there wasn't a line before, there certainly was one now. 
Akane, holding the hot tea pot in one hand and Ranma-chan's arm in the
other, pushed her way through the crowd of prospective brides and
grooms along with their families and matchmakers.  A curious series of
whispered discussions broke out and rippled from one end of the line
to the other as the odd looking couple passed on their way to the
building's toilet facilities.
     That, however, was nothing compared to the discussions that
followed as Akane pushed her way back through the crowd a few minutes
later - this time with a wet and nervous-looking male in tow.
     "We're back."  Akane handed the empty tea pot to the clerk while
Nabiki slid her money off the counter and back into her pocket.
     "Where did you find him?" the clerk asked in a haughty manner.
     "In the toilet.  Let's get this over with."
     Unperturbed, the clerk moved on to the next item on his check
list.  "Do you wish a 10 generation or 25 generation koseki?" he asked
in an official-sounding voice.
     Nabiki paused to look at both Ranma and Akane.  "Well?"
     Akane fidget nervously.  "I suppose the 10 generation would be
cheaper."  She paused to look pleadingly at her older sister.
     Nabiki never could resist it when her sister looked at her like
that.  "We'll take the 25 generation."
     "Fine.  This will only take a few moments."  The clerk smugly
turned away and handed all the paper work to a young female assistant
at a computer terminal before taking his tea pot to refill.  His tea
break was in 20 minutes and he wasn't going to miss it because of some
loony girl and her damp fiance.
     Kasumi beamed at the couple.  It's times like this when Kasumi
could say or do the wrong thing.  Today, she did it in spades.  "Last
chance to back out," she chirped.  
     Nabiki's look in response was priceless.
     "Well, I still want to get married."  Akane looked questioningly
at Ranma.  "If you do."
     Ranma blinked before frowning.  "What do you mean by that?  After
all I went through to get you here --"
     "What *you* went through?"  Akane bristled.  "What about what *I*
went through?"
     "All you did was use that little ki trick you'd learned on
Cologne.  I had to ditch Shampoo, Ukyou, AND Mousse."
     "Big deal!"
     "Look, ya tomboy.  I didn't ask to be engaged to you."
     "And *I* certainly didn't ask to be engaged to such a jerk."
     "THAT'S IT!" Nabiki yelled.  "I can't believe you two are doing
this again!  After all I've been through - after all the phone calls,
the travel, the trouble, THE MONEY - you two still think this is just
a child's game.  GROW UP!  This is MARRIAGE we're talking about.  It's
serious!  It's important!"
     Nabiki's rant was suddenly interrupted by a man wearing a sport
coat so ugly it would embarrass even an American used car salesman. 
"Excuse me but I couldn't help but overhear your difficulties."  He
held out his business card to Nabiki.  "Perhaps if you had used a
professional matchmaker, such as myself, you wouldn't be having this
problem.  Now I'm sure you're asking yourself just how much this all
would cost.  The point is: how much is your future happiness worth?  I
can get this young lady a perfect match for a husband in no time at
all.  My work is guaranteed for two years or the birth of their first
child, whichever comes first."
     Nabiki snatched the card out of the man's hand and presented it
to Kasumi.  With a totally neutral look on her face, Kasumi tore the
card into tiny bits and handed it back to Nabiki who grabbed the man's
hand and slapped the shredded card in it.  The professional matchmaker
got the message and bowed his exit.
     "So, what's it gonna be you two?  You ready to act like adults
yet?"  Nabiki crossed her arms and began to tap her foot impatiently.
     The silence between Ranma and Akane was deafening.  The two kept
glancing at each other between long scowls at the floor.  The clerk
took that opportunity to return.
     "Anything wrong?" he innocently asked.
     "NO!" all four snapped at the clerk.
     "Fine."  The clerk swallowed hard.  "Perhaps you just require a
little more time."
     Nabiki finally grabbed Ranma by the shirt, pulled him close and
looked him directly in the eyes.  There is no way he could mistake
Nabiki's expression for anything but the utmost in seriousness. 
"Ranma, do you love my sister enough to marry her?"
     Ranma gulped and glanced once at Akane.  "Hai."  His voice was
soft and yielding.  When it came to his innermost feelings about the
youngest Tendo sister, nothing else would have been truthful.
     Kasumi reached out and gently lifted Akane's chin with her
fingers.  "Do you love Ranma enough?"
     Akane looked up at her oneechan and thought how much she looked
like mother.  "It's just so... scary."
     "I know.  It was that way for me too."  Kasumi switched to
stroking her sister's hair.  "Marriage is a big step in your life. 
But I'm certain you can handle it.  After all, Nabiki and I did."
     Akane glanced at Ranma once more before nodding her agreement. 
"Okay, Oneechan."  She turned to Ranma.  "Let's finish this.  I'm
getting hungry."
     The mention of food prompted Ranma's quick agreement.
     "We're ready now," Nabiki said to the clerk as she passed out the
signature stamps.
     An official-looking document was placed on the counter.  Briefly,
the clerk explained how Tendo Akane had been added to the Saotome
koseki and deleted from the Tendo.  All the couple needed to do now
was to affix their signature stamps to the document to make it legal.
     Ranma, as the groom, went first.  Despite his nervousness, his
stamp went smoothly and was quite acceptable.  With a sigh of
resignation, he quietly handed the stamp back to Nabiki and looked
shyly at the other couples waiting their turn.
     Akane followed.  After applying sufficient ink, she paused before
nervously pressing it on the place indicated.  As she pressed, her
mind whirled with the enormity of what she was doing.  She was
declaring herself dead to her own family and taking on a whole new
family complete with new family obligations.  She was now obligated to
take care of Ranma's mother in old age.  She was also obligated to
take care of Genma.  Voices of panic rang in her ears as she pressed
down.
     "Uh, Akane, I don't think you need to press quite that hard." 
Nabiki and Kasumi were actively engaged in trying to get the dazed
Akane to release the signature stamp.  She was pressing so hard it
looked like she was trying to squeeze water out of the document.
     "Akane, please."  Kasumi's voice seemed to snap the youngest
sister out of her trance.
     "Huh?  What?"  She looked around like she didn't recognize where
she was.
     "Akane, let got of the stamp."
     "Oh.  Okay."
     Nabiki helped her pull the stamp from the document.  Despite the
ferocity of her attack, Akane had left a perfect mark on the
document... and the counter... and possibly the shelf underneath.  
     The clerk, relieved to get his