Notes from the Bunker Dispatch #11 Once again, I venture forth to do battle with the dark forces of Anime. Anime, the most.... (what!?....Not now Passionate Fox, Chief Long Pole is kinda busy. Why don't you go play with the nice toys Aunt Kun-chan brought back from Nerima for you.) Now, where was I.....Oh, yes... Anime, the most evil force in the universe, mega or micro. Having braved...( What is it now?!? .... No, I don't know what size batteries it takes. Yes, I suppose it does kinda look like a boy thing. How should I know if it's the same size as Ranma's? Ask your Aunt Kun-chan, she was there.) I'm never going to get this dispatch done with all these interruptions. [sigh] Ok, let's try again. [phone ringing] Damn phone. "Yes? Oh, hi oh Kunny baby, how's tricks? Sorry, bad joke. Hey! I said I'm sorry. What? No, you did not leave your underwear here. What? Oh, all right. I'll check. [turning from phone] PANTY CHECK!" [chorus of happy voices] Neato! Allright! Cool! What? "Ok. We've got: pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, blue poka dot, pink, and pink. Nope, not a leopard print in the bunch. Sorry babe, not here. Yeah, thanks for calling." [hangs up then quickly redials operator] "Yes, operator. I'd like to reverse the charges on that last phone call. Thank you." "Do-Anything-For-A-Beer Fox, will you take off those ridiculous looking poka dot panties...... NOT IN HERE!" Now, where was I?..... Space, the final frontier....NONONO. [sound of wife softly rapping at door] BAM!!! BAM!!! BAM!!!! "Yes sweetie." "There's someone named 'Zen' here to see you." "Male or female." "Well, it's kinda hard to tell." "Toss some hot water on *it* and get back to me." "Okie dokie." Ok, back to the dispatch. [sounds of Zen screaming his little Tennessee knickers off.] Hmmmmmm, perhaps I should have said 'warm' water. Oh well. (What is it *now*, Kissy Fox?..... I do *not* know where you put your inflatable Kuno doll. Honestly, for the life of me, I cannot understand why you keep that absurd looking thing around here. Yes, I *know* it has an impressive bokkan. No, I DO NOT KNOW WHERE THE BATTERIES GO!) Excuse me while I shut the door ..................................................................... ..................................................................... ..................................................................... ..................................................................... ..................................................................... ............................. Sorry, Big Boobs Fox lost her marbles again and I had to help her look for them. [More sounds of Zen's screams.] "Greg dear." "Yes, wife. What is it?" "I've poured 20 gallons of boiling hot water on *it* and *it* refuses to change." "Try cold water, dear." "Okie dokie." What? Oh, yes, the dispatch. The anxiously awaited nuptials of White Wolf and Kodachi Kuno has been called off. Skuld showed up and claimed her (man? / wolf? / person?). In any case, Kodachi is on the loose and should be considered sexually frustrated and dangerous. She was last reported on what was left of the American West Coast searching for horny male FFML members of college age. If you should see this person, do *not* attempt to satisfy by yourself. Call for help. That number is: 1-800-JUSENKYO. Whatever answers has a better chance of subduing a rampaging Kodachi on hormone overload than you, so don't take any chances. [Yet more sounds of Zen's screams.] "Greg dear." "Yes, wife. What is it?" "I've hosed it down and rolled it in the snow. It *still* refuses to change." "Ok, I'll take care of it." [Turns to his most deadly, hormone driven weapon: Lusty Fox.] "Will you be a dear and check this 'Zen' person out? Thank you." Wyrm and Wyrm-chan have continued their battle over the tardis and who was responsible for Happousai's getting aboard in the first place. It would seem that the crafty little rascal cloned himself into hundreds of little perverts. Reportedly, Bridget bailed while she still had one pair of clean panties left to attend a wedding (we understand no Anime characters were present. However, she did report some strange goins on during a trip across Nebraska. Authorities here in the bunker have chalked it up to Nebraska being an incredibly boring state). Shannon got so bored she produced another chapter to her Dragon Dreams series, but no one noticed. (HEY! *I* did and it was cool.) And Misa invited the rest of the 'rescued' ladies to a weekend at the spas around Bath. All in all, a good time had by, well, all. [Zen's screams have ceased but the distinct smell of a sexually aroused Fox filled the bunker] That reminds me, I've got to order more air freshener. Meanwhile, Sebastian, depressed over discovering Ranko has been coloring her hair black just for him, wrote his own... er... lemony sort of thingy... er... story... In any case, our poor little Teutonic twit used his parents computer to produce this masterpiece of smut. Unfortunately, he forgot and left the disk in the computer. We understand he will be 'un-grounded' sometime in 2026. Ranko insists she'll wait for him, but you know how these things go. [Strange moans coming from the front yard have attracted the attention of just about every cat in heat in the city.] Trish Ledoux is on the loose and should be considered sexually frustrated and dangerous. She was last reported on what was left of the American West Coast searching for horny male FFML members of college age. If you should see this person, do *not* attempt to satisfy by yourself. Call for help. That number is: 1-800-JUSENKYO. Whatever answers has a better chance of subduing a rampaging Trish Ledoux on hormone overload than you, so don't take any chances. We understand that Ranma refuses to return Kun-chan's phone calls and insists "it's the girl's responsibility to provide protection against that sort of thing." Stay tuned as things 'develop'. Oh, my. Sean Gaffney seems to have written himself into a corner with Belldandy. It seems she prefers Keiichi over him. However, Skuld has expressed a preference for Sean. Jim Biles and White Wolf have both protested and the whole thing's gone to arbitration. The last thing we heard was that Sean would not be suspended during the playoffs but would have to sit out the first five games of the next season. His lawyers are appealing (but not as appealing as Sensual Fox). Suds-kun (aka Shaun Schillinger) is considering rewriting his 'Dear Diary' series with Kasumi as a happy axe murderer. We spoke to Kasumi's agent, Sly Fox, and she indicated there was certainly a possibility Kasumi would take the part. "She needs to grow, professionally," Fox said. "She's getting typecast as a mild-mannered domestic goddess and all the good parts are passing her by." Fox was unable to say just *what* parts she was talking about but it's no secret Kasumi has always wanted to do a good Project Ako script or perhaps a BGC guest shot as a boomer with a heart. We'll keep an eye on this one. Kasumi Tendo is on the loose and should be considered sexually frustrated and dangerous. She was last reported on what was left of the American West Coast searching for horny male FFML members of college age. If you should see this person, do *not* attempt to satisfy by yourself. Call for help. That number is: 1-800-JUSENKYO. Whatever answers has a better chance of subduing a rampaging Kasumi on hormone overload than you, so don't take any chances. [Zen's moans have grown along with those of Lusty.] Greg's getting a little 'warm' down here in the bunker. Perhaps if Passionate Fox is done with that 'Nabiki' doll... Now, where did I put all those quarters? (Damn thing's hungrier than a car wash.)