Controversial Topics:  We're Against Beating Our Children With Sticks webpage

The title of this page came from an online friend during an e-list discussion concerning the sale of sticks intended for punishing children.  Years ago I was also a member of a support group where one member undertook a 'ministry' of giving away to anyone who wanted one, copies of a book whose authors advocate physically causing children pain in order to modify the children's behavior. The mothers who accepted the books all appeared to love their children very much, so I don't know why they wanted a book telling them how to create situations inviting the children to misbehave so that the children could receive 'corrective' pain.  Isn't that what happens to lab rats?

Some people believe that children come into the world needing to be saved and other people believe that children come into the world fresh from the realm of angels. There is no way to objectively prove either theory so, as parents, we must make the best choice we know how. Because of this the subject of disciplining children is a touchy one. Some people believe that spanking is an acceptable way to communicate with children, while others don't.

I myself changed from a person who felt that the occasional swat on the bottom did no harm, to a person who doesn't think that hitting someone who may be only 1/5th my size is an adult thing to do. I grew up being spanked, sometimes quite 'soundly,' as were most children of my generation. My parents were punished even more harshly than I (some of the stories are painful to recall), and they, too, modified their stance regarding spanking as I and my siblings grew up. I'm pleased to see the gradual phasing out of physical punishment in the generations of my family.

I'm sad to say that this isn't the case in my 'homeschooling family.' Physical punishment is not only encouraged in some circles, but is underwritten by the sale of devices whose sole purpose is to be used to strike a child. The pictures I've seen of these items remind me of the riding crops my daughters carry when they're having lessons on difficult horses.  The big difference is that on the models sold for disciplining children there is no protective woven cover such as on those sold for use on horses.   Who are these children and babies, whose skin is tougher than horsehide? 

Riding crops remind me of a martinet of a major who,  while I was attending teletype school at Ft. Gordon, inspected the mess hall on the day that I, a lowly private, was pulling KP .   The major's uniform was augmented by riding boots and . . . a riding crop. This was 'way back' when uniforms weren't quite as uniform as they are today. The major wasn't a pleasant man, and I'm glad I wasn't one of his troops, a troop with a knowledge of whether or not he used that crop.

Unconditional Loving
Commentator Arti Srivastava believes many mothers in the U.S. try to train their children to be independent too early. (NPR)

How Children Really React to Control
"When one person tries to control another, you can always expect some kind of reaction from the controllee. The use of power involves two people in a special kind of relationship - one wielding power, and the other reacting to it.

"This seemingly obvious fact is not usually dealt with in the writings of the dare-to-discipline advocates. Invariably, they leave the child out of the formula, omitting any reference to how the youngster reacts to the control of his or her parents or teachers."

Gentle Christian Mothers
"Gentle Christian Mothers (GCM) was born out a desire to help unite mothers who believe that God has given mamas a mothering instinct and whose hearts' desire is to nurture our children gently. GCM is a safe place to grow and learn along with other likeminded mothers who love the Lord. Sometimes we feel alone in our parenting choices, and sometimes we get weary and need support. We hope and pray that you will find helpful information, support, and encouragement at GCM."

Gently Disciplining
Do you hit your spouse? Do you hit your parents or your grandparents? How about your boss? No, you say? Of course, you don't. Not only is it illegal, it's emotionally and physically abusive, and just plain not acceptable in our society. Why, then, do we think it's okay to hit a 25 pound toddler?

Parenting in Jesus' Footsteps
"What does it mean to "parent in Jesus' footsteps?" By examining the teachings of Jesus Christ, we can apply them to the parent/child relationship. What do the Golden Rule, the Beatitudes, the Prodigal Son story and other teachings tell us about how to treat children? Come join us, read and reflect on Jesus."

Project NoSpank
"The organization PARENTS AND TEACHERS AGAINST VIOLENCE IN EDUCATION takes the position that children should no longer be excluded from the legal protections against assault and battery that apply to adults. Moreover, the defense of children should be more vigorous because they are more vulnerable; because the consequences of their early mistreatment are difficult to reverse; because damaged children tend to grow into damaged adults who are likely to avenge themselves in one way or another. If they will not harm others, then they will likely harm themselves, and they may passively support the mistreatment of children perpetrated by others. Current research in the field of child development overwhelmingly confirms the theory that the earlier and the worse the mistreatment of children, the worse the outcome."

 

Talk To Action, 12 Jan 2006:  Developing Dominionist Cities
"Cult of Character" that is posted on the In These Times website ... examines the work of Bill Gothard and his Character Training Institute"
 

Boston.com, 10 Jan 05

• Sale of spanking tool points up larger issue
  "Another reason he is halting production, he said, is that the company that makes the cushioned grips for the rods has pulled out of the venture."
  Cushioned grips?  "The Rod" won't be sold anymore because the "cushioned grips" for the parents won't be available?  What's the matter?  Aren't the folks who dole out the punishment tough enough to grip "The Rod" with a bare hand?