This scene appeared in the first draft of The Genesis Protocol as part of the novel's epilogue.
Readers of The Last World War will almost certainly recognize significant portions of the scene - especially considering that it begins all-but identically to a chapter I wrote for that book. Given that the scene in TLWW was intended as an homage to the Kevin Smith film Clerks, I thought it'd be fun to extend the gag into a different book, using the same basic setup and then going forward as the needs of the newer story dictated. You'll notice that the dialogue changes and certain parts of the description differ from the earlier version as the scene unfolds, and then things go completely askew.
Hey, I thought it was a nifty idea at the time.
Anyway - for what it's worth: The Genesis Protocol: The Deleted Scene
EPILOGUE
3:42.
Looking at the clock on the convenience store’s
far wall, Brian sighed in mounting frustration. At
this rate, there was no way he was going to last until
six o’clock without choking the shit out of Jeff.
I’m not even supposed to be here tonight, he
scolded himself. Why the hell didn’t I fake sick when
I had the chance?
“Come on,” Jeff said from where he stood in front
of the coffee machines, wiping down the counter with a
sponge, “you know it makes perfect sense.”
Leaning on the counter next to the cash register,
Brian shook his head. “Bigfoot was created by
environmentalists to combat logging companies?”
“Not just one, but a whole colony of them,” Jeff
said as he finished with the coffeepots and moved to
clean the soft drink fountains. “Think about it. They
get genetic scientists to create these things, drop
them into places like the Pacific Northwest where the
tree-huggers and the developers are always going at
each other.
“Get enough people to report sightings,
footprints, all that shit, then they go to the
government and whine and complain that these creatures
are scientific oddities that have to be protected for
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THE GENESIS PROTOCOL
study. The only way to do that, of course, is to
declare its natural habitats preservation areas, which
means, among other things, no logging. No new housing
developments or strip malls, either, which isn’t such a
bad thing. I mean, how many tanning salons and yoga
dens and take-out Chinese joints does one planet need,
anyway?”
“That’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever
heard, and that’s saying something considering the shit
you keep coming up with,” Brian said, dismissing his
coworker’s theory with a wave. Though Jeff had started
working here less than a month ago, it had taken him
substantially less time to become annoying as hell.
Before Jeff’s arrival, Brian had enjoyed the quiet
and mostly mundane atmosphere of the overnight shift at
the twenty-four-hour convenience store without a
partner, but a series of holdups and robberies at other
establishments along this stretch of Interstate 80 in
recent weeks had prompted this shop’s owner to assign a
second employee to the graveyard shift.
While Brian worked the main counter and handled
most of the store’s customers, including overseeing the
gas pumps and selling lottery tickets, Jeff took care
of the store’s small deli and video rental departments,
which went all but ignored during the overnight hours.
In this capacity he dispensed movies along with hot
dogs and pizza slices, all packaged with his own
peculiar and oftentimes irritating viewpoint on
whatever topic tickled his fancy on a given night.
The conspiracy theories had started out simple and
even amusing at first, with the usual topics that Brian
had already heard about, such as the JFK assassinations
or the Moon landings being faked or some other such
crap. If nothing else, the lively conversations that
often ensued when Jeff revealed one of his theories
helped to while away the early morning hours.
The fun had faded quickly as Jeff’s outlandish
speculations branched out to include everything from
the government kidnapping innocent people they
suspected of being terrorists to aliens trying to
control the populace by masking hypnotic messages in
the soundtracks of pornographic movies.
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THE GENESIS PROTOCOL
“Of course, the reason that hasn’t worked is
because the aliens don’t realize that everybody fast
forwards through most pornos,” Jeff proclaimed one
memorable Saturday night.
Having finished cleaning up the store’s
self-service beverage area, Jeff moved toward the line
of coolers along the store’s far wall, stopping long
enough to retrieve a pint-sized container of chocolate
milk.
“I thought Bigfoot was a robot created by aliens
to keep hikers away from where they were hiding in the
mountains or something.”
Offering a disgusted frown, Jeff shook his head.
“You watch too much television, dude,” he said as he
twisted the cap from the plastic milk bottle. Moving
back behind the counter, he paused at the magazine
racks and helped himself to one of the new issues of
Hustler that had arrived earlier in the day.
“Think about it,” he continued. “All the stories
you heard about Bigfoot in the 1920s and 30s are
bullshit, but there’s enough there for the Sierra
Club or some other group to take and use as the
foundation for a massive disinformation campaign. The
whole thing takes years to put together and execute.
They’re the ones who provide the pictures and movie
footage we’ve seen. Remember that film the guy shot in
the 60s? You know, the one with Bigfoot walking away
from the camera? That was them.”
Rubbing his temples with his fingers, Brian said,
“That was a hoax, dumbass. The guy who did the make-up
for the original Planet of the Apes movie was
behind that. I read it in the paper years ago.”
“Ah, you’ve fallen for the clever ruse, just like
thousands before you,” Jeff countered as he made his
way back to the front of the store. “They put out that
hoax rumor to throw people off the track of the real
proof that Bigfoot is all their baby.”
“Where do you get this shit?”
“The Internet, mostly,” Jeff said without looking
up from the centerfold of Hustler’s Honey of the
Month. “The truth is out there, dude. It’s amazing what
you can find if you know where to look.”
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THE GENESIS PROTOCOL
Ignoring Jeff’s reply, Brian rolled his eyes as he
moved from behind the counter. He needed a cigarette, he
decided. Patting his pockets, he remembered that he had
already smoked his last one an hour or so earlier.
Fuck me.
He grabbed a pack of Marlboros from the dispenser
over the cash register, making a mental note to pay for
the cigarettes later. “I’ll be out back if you need me,”
he called over his shoulder as he headed for the back
door.
Waiting for him were two garbage bags, situated in
the narrow hallway and blocking his path. One of the bags
had torn and allowed a vile brown liquid to leak onto the
floor.
“Jeff!” he shouted back into the store, hoping
against hope that some of his damn Bigfoot buddies would
show up and pound him into a meatball. “Get a mop and
clean this shit up, huh?”
Grabbing a bag in each hand, Brian kicked at the
door and let it swing open. He stepped outside into the
predawn darkness, leaving a nasty brown trail behind him
as he crossed the gravel and dirt parking lot to where
the garbage dumpster sat, protected from the whims of
evil garbage thieves and illegal dumpers by a perimeter
of less than formidable chain-link fence.
Rather than unlock the fence’s gate to give him
access to the dumpster, Brian tossed first one bag and
then the other over the six-foot barrier, foul dark
liquid arcing across the pavement and splashing across
the fence. Some of it spattered the legs of his khaki
cargo pants, eliciting yet another stream of profanity.
Shaking his head in disgust, Brian reached into his
pockets to extract his lighter and the recently-acquired
pack of cigarettes. Firing up a Marlboro, he drew the
initial drag of smoke deep into his lungs, savoring the
taste of the nicotine-laden tobacco. Of course he knew
the cigarettes were bad for him and he had tried to cut
down. He could honestly say that he only smoked during
work these days, which he chalked up to being nothing
more than a defense mechanism against beating Jeff with
a baseball bat.
Pray I never quit, asshole.
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THE GENESIS PROTOCOL
Brian was taking another drag when something
moved out in the open field behind the store. He
figured it was a stray dog or perhaps a coyote,
wandering the night desert in search of some luckless
animal that might serve as dinner. Its eyes glowed a
pale orange thanks to the feeble illumination offered
by the lone streetlamp near the edge of the parking
lot.
Whatever it was, it was moving toward him.
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