The Smoke Theory

The Smoke Theory

A theory has recently been postulated asserting the great importance of smoke to the functioning of electrical components. According to this theory, it is smoke that makes components work because every time you let the smoke out of a component, it stops working. It seems the claim has been verified through extensive field testing.

As with many great discoveries, this one had eluded the great minds of our time by its very simplicity. Of course smoke makes all things electrical work! Remember the last time the smoke escaped from your 400 Hz static converter? Didn't it quit working? On a system level, an aircraft wiring harness carries smoke from one device to another, and when the harness springs a leak, it lets the smoke out of everything all at once and then nothing works. Some aircraft systems (H.F., INS., Radar) require larger quantities of smoke to operate properly; that's why the wires going to them are so big.

Expanding this hypothesis to the automobile industry, why are Lucas electric systems more likely to leak smoke than, say. Bosch or Delco? Aha! Lucas is British. Things British always leak! British convertible tops leak water. British engines leak oil. British shock absorbers leak fluid. Naturally, British electronics leak smoke.

Of course, there are aspects of the theory that require further investigation. For example, one would think that persons who smoke cigarettes would be much more healthy from ingesting all that smoke. Experimental data seems to contradict that hypothesis. Perhaps smokers are actually exhaling more smoke than the inhale……

-author and theoretician unknown.

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